Previously on The Originals: Elegant Uncle Elijah is probably still daggered, much to the dismay of cleft-chin fans everywhere. Cami has a haunting past that
traumatizes her to this day tragically left her without a personality. Rebekah and Hayley are bonding, going to an ob-gyn in a dark foggy bayou is a Bad Idea, Klaus is a diabolical genius, Davina might not be as bratty as she initially appeared, and Marcel is still smoking hot, even when the wardrobe people make him wear a silly scarf.
“I was thinking about posing like this for my senior portrait.”
Last week’s episode made me doubt the show. This week was sweet, smoldering redemption. (I am so relieved!) The writers (including Sheriff Forbes from The Vampire Diaries) did an excellent job of tying loose ends together and setting a new direction for the show, one that I’m personally eager to see explored.
The Original Family Drama
What a doozy. So many storylines! This section is going to be a bit long:
Davina makes a deal with Elegant Uncle Elijah, observing that he’s supposed to be “the honorable one,” and offering him a drop of her blood, at which point he goes from Zombie Grey to Peachy Keen. (I thought of everyone in the comments who has raged against the daggering and figured you must be very happy right then, especially later when Elijah takes off his tie.) Davina, as it turns out, has only been locked up in the attic for eight months – she can’t control her power, sometimes it hurts people, and she’s afraid. Elijah offers to trade his (witch) mother’s grimoires for his freedom, and she accepts.
What happened eight months ago? First of all, Sophie was a lot more fun: Footloose and Fancy Free Sophie had renounced her witchy powers in favor of being a bartender who pours shots into people’s mouths and makes out with patrons. She also wanted to be a chef, which takes her back to New Orleans. (Hence the gumbo comments in the first episode/director’s cut, apparently.) Only, problem: her witchy cohort wants to perform the Harvest and then the Reaping, which appears to be shorthand for “killing teenage witches and possibly resurrecting them later in a bid for power every 300 years.” Fancy Free Sophie becomes Deadly Serious Sophie when she realizes that yes, the witches are serious, and the victims include Davina and her niece (Jane-Anne’s daughter) Monique. The witches, for their part, don’t tell the teenage girls that they’re going to die. Surprise! Your death is an honor, kids!
Oh, and eight months ago, Fancy Free Sophie was also hooking up with Marcel, which they demonstrated, much to the delight of anyone with a pulse. (I tried to find photos or a clip on YouTube, you know, for science, but came up empty-handed. SOMEONE, HOOK US UP.) Deadly Serious Sophie now takes this opportunity to tell him about the Harvest, which doesn’t fly with Marcel – he has a “thing” about not abusing children. (He and Klaus share a meaningful look when he tells Klaus, and I was very hopeful that they would put aside their differences, if you know what I mean.) Marcel is able to save Davina, but not the other three girls. At this point, he bans the witches from the Quarter.
In the end, we find out that Sophie and Jane-Anne lured Klaus to New Orleans under false pretenses so that they could get Davina back from Marcel, finish the ritual, and resurrect all four witches/renew their ancestral magic powers. So, as the writing was kind to point out, the war isn’t about power, it’s about family. I’d argue it’s about both. And holy crap, remember back in episode 1 when I noted that the witches were epic hypocrites? That was nothing compared to what we found out this episode. (I love it.)
Then we have the whole Father Kieran thing – I’m not entirely clear on what’s happening here, so correct me if I’m wrong. Father Kieran is in charge of the humans of New Orleans, and ruled the city before Marcel did. He’s also Cami and her twin’s uncle. Is he a vampire? Is he a witch? Is he human? Or is he dancer?
The Original Mythology
- “The Harvest” is a ritual performed every 300 years, to tie back to ancestral magic and renew power – teenage girls of the community are chosen months prior. The girls are told that the magical knife cuts their palms and puts them to sleep, then at the Reaping they’re resurrected and more powerful than ever.
- Davina’s extreme power results in her absorbing the power of the other three witches who were killed. If they’re all to be resurrected, she has to die, too.
- Sabine’s vision about the baby: “the baby would bring death to all witches.” Klaus: “I grow fonder of this baby by the minute.” I laughed out loud. If you’re keeping track, this is why the witches attacked Hayley in the last episode.
- Remember, Sophie and Hayley’s lives are (supposedly) still linked.
- Sophie wants to get to the bodies of the witches before midnight so their souls can be at rest.
The Original Body Count
- Klaus kills (?) the tattler, or at least snaps his neck
- Three of the teenage witches are killed, and several of the witch elders during Davina's rescue.
“Hey. Hey. Hey Marcel. Look! Look at me! Are you looking? Look what I can do. Hey.”
“Get down from there this instant.”
The Original WTF
- Rebekah: “Here we are…amidst the crawly, buzzy creatures.” A centuries-old vampire afraid of bugs? I love you, Rebekah. Never change.
- I also laughed out loud when Rebekah threatened to put Hayley on a leash (low blow!) and complained that she ruined a perfectly good pair of boots traipsing about in the bayou. Rebekah’s character is really holding her own on the show.
- Big Augie’s Bayou Bar: I want to go there. I NEED to go there. If possible, I would like to go there with Klaus and make him contemptuously recite the name a few hundred times. Also, how is it that Klaus and Marcel become even more attractive with a bottle of bourbon in front of them? Can we do a scientific study on this?
- Klaus, why are you standing on a railing?
- Anyone notice how Davina's art suddenly got a lot better this week, but the tantrum-magic-drawing was behind it? You're not fooling anyone!
The Original Joseph Morgan Award for Tortured Hot People
SO MANY HOT MOMENTS. How is one woman supposed to pick? Although I’m sure many of you were longing to be the violin that Elijah rests his stately cheek upon, I was wondering if I could be reincarnated as Marcel’s sheets or Klaus’ snug-fitting Henley. That’s to say nothing of Rebekah and Marcel getting het up very close to each other yet again, and the adult relations that Elijah and Hayley’s eyes had together. AND YET, THERE ARE NO PROMO PHOTOS OF ANY OF THIS.
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.
So I did some “research” and came up with these as our consolation prizes.
I vote for Klaus and Marcel as Cutest Couple 2013.
“Never tell a soul that I wore a hoodie and a blazer at the same time.”
And now is the time where we turn it back to you in the comments, folks. What did you think?