About:
Veronica Mars S3.E02 “My Big Fat Greek Rush Week”
Veronica Mars S3.E03 “Wichita Linebacker”
Trips to the Dentist: 24 drinks, 4 shots
Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Players: Mac, Mac, and Weevil
We’ve finally hit Veronica Mars: The College Years, and I’d like to take a second to mourn the passing of the original Dandy Warhols theme song. Why, show, WHY?! It’s like a teenager who decides that going to college means listening to angsty emo music. In the words of Cher Horowitz, “Waahhhh!”
The Official FYA Veronica Mars Season 3 Drinking Game
Take a drink every time:
- Someone says “Veronica Mars”, even when they know full well who she is and there’s no other Veronica in all of Neptune
- Veronica uses her camera
- Mars family members hug (Backup counts!)
- Backup appears
- Someone mentions a fraternity or sorority
- Veronica uses a college cliche as a disguise
- A character, initially introduced as good, turns out to be a baddie (or vice versa)
- Fisticuffs occur
- Veronica gets some action (kissing or otherwise)
- A Taser is used
- Veronica mentions ponies, unicorns, kittens, or puppies
- The communal argyle shirt appears
Take a shot every time:
- Veronica solves a case
- Logan calls Veronica “bobcat”
Onto the episodes!
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 3.1 “Welcome Wagon”
Veronica’s in college! And it’s… basically the same as high school. Especially since the vast majority of Neptune High conveniently decided to attend Hearst College. Veronica’s still living at home, but Wallace and Mac both moved into the dorms, which leads to the introduction of new cast members roommates, adorable Piz and party girl Parker.
Thanks to Piz getting all of his personal belongings stolen out of his car, Veronica lands a case on her very first day of college, after solving a fake murder mystery in her Intro to Criminology class. (Talk about ruining the curve.) Turns out that the Hearst Welcome Wagon is actually a ring of thieves, and the “Unwashed” written on Piz’s car leads Veronica to a local concert to search for clues.
Three boys come forward at the concert claiming to have seen something, but Veronica later deduces that they’re delinquents enrolled in a Hearst mentoring program, and their mentor, Donald Fagan, just so happens to be the guy who “found” Piz’s guitar. She and Piz pull up lawn chairs and savor the view of Donald getting arrested by the police. Boom goes the dynamite!
Trips to the Dentist: 9 drinks, 2 shots
File Under The Hearst Rapist
There’s been a rash of rapes on the Hearst campus, and the victims are marked by their shaved heads. You know, because being raped isn’t awful enough. Then Parker wakes up with a shaved head and no memory, and Veronica, who walked into the room during the night, might be the only witness.
Life on Mars
Logan and Veronica are still dating! (Thanks, Rob Thomas, for not repeating that Season Two premiere psyche-out.) Veronica’s worried about trying to take a high school relationship into college, and, well, yeah, she should be. Especially since Logan seems intent on maintaining his bad boy image. With that said, Logan does give her a room key along with a rare glimpse of earnest emotion: “You know there’s no one else. I only want you.”
Then there’s Piz, who goes from zero to 100% crush on Veronica in less than 5 seconds. And who can blame him? In the interest of full disclosure, this is probably a good time for me to tell you that I am totally TEAM PIZ. Jason Dohring? More like Jason BORING. Bring it on, haters, because I will defend my overly-coifed boy to the death.
Mac and Dick are both still recovering from the whole Beaver thing but in opposite ways. Mac is “frozen from the waist down,” while Dick is attempting to hump anything that moves.
Meanwhile, Keith is picking up Cormac Fitzpatrick, who got out of prison early on good behavior, and taking him to a secret cabin in the desert. In spite of the car breaking down, they make it to the cabin, where Cormac is reunited with Kendall. It’s all warm fuzzies until Cormac pulls out a gun and presumably shoots Kendall, then takes aim at Keith, who runs out of the house and into the cold desert night.
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Mac
No one was super helpful in this episode, so I’ll give it to Mac, for not stopping Veronica from drinking two Irish coffees and gifting us all with a “Boo-ya!”
And the Snark Award Goes To…
Mac, when describing Parker’s boy crazy tendencies:
Mac: “If college is a boy buffet, she’s got two full plates and a purse full of boys wrapped in napkins.”
Honorable mention to Dick for this amazing pick-up line:
Dick: “I mean is this thing we feel real or are we just in it for the torso butter?”
Neptune Cameo
- James Jordan as Tim Foyle. As the T.A. for Intro to Criminology, Tim looks so familiar. Lucky for him, Veronica doesn’t seem to notice.
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “Rumpshaker” by Wreckx-N-Effect
This track provides an excellent backdrop to Dick’s speedo antics.
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 3.2 “My Big Fat Greek Rush Week”
After getting hired to write for the college paper, Veronica goes undercover for her first assignment, deep in the wild jungles of the Greek system. Her determination to find the person who raped Parker is the only thing that keeps her sane amidst the Stepford Wives Zeta Theta Betas, who threw the party that Parker left the night she was attacked.
After enduring an afternoon of sisterhood, Veronica scores an invite to a secret party that night, where she finally encounters the booze and antics she’s been looking for. But after she pretends to be drunk, she ends up getting escorted out to a Safe-Ride-Home cart instead of discovering any truly illicit activity. She finally hits the jackpot when she finds a secret pot-growing room in the Zeta Theta Beta house, but after she turns her photos in to the paper, she learns that the pot is actually for the house mother, who is suffering from cancer.
Then she gets to feel like a big huge jerk!
Trips to the Dentist: 10 drinks
File Under The Hearst Rapist
After hitting a dead end with the Zeta Theta Betas, Veronica discovers that Parker took a Safe-Ride-Home cart the night she was raped, and the driver was none other than Wallace and Piz’s RA, Moe. It’s pretty fishy that he didn’t mention this earlier, but he does tell Veronica that there was another girl in the cart who helped him take Parker to her room.
Life on Mars
To get out of writing a paper, Wallace and Logan decide to participate in a Sociology class experiment that divides people into prisoners and guards. They have to spend the whole weekend together, and if any of the prisoners spills the beans on the fictional location of a bomb, the guards win. Things get all The Wave-like with one guard, Rafe, terrorizing a sweet, dorky prisoner, Samuel. But Wallace ends up as the true victor after he changes the clock and tricks a prisoner, who thinks the experiment is over, into divulging the secret info.
But really, we’re the true winners, because Wallace made Logan do this:
Over in the desert, Keith is barely alive, but he manages to do something incredibly smart– he leaves the tracking device “pen” (that Vinny Van Lowe planted on him) by an animal trap, which distracts Cormac enough to get his leg clamped by the trap. Then his brother, Liam, who’s been following the tracker, finds him and presumably shoots him. (Although we only hear the shot.) Keith makes it to the police, who take him back to the cabin to search for evidence. He spies a painting on the wall, which turns out to be the incredibly valuable masterpiece that was in Kendall’s possession. He takes it and sells it to a museum, with the proceeds going towards the local food bank. KEITH IS THE BEST.
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Mac
I gotta hand this over to Mac again, because she convinces Parker to stay at Hearst, even after everything that’s happened. Mac, underneath it all, you’re a big softie.
And the Snark Award Goes To…
Dick, for his response to Veronica’s question of “What are you doing here?”
Dick: “Fulfilling my destiny. It’s a sorority party. It’s why I left the womb.”
Neptune Cameos
- Rider Strong as Rafe. Rider is ridiculously good at playing an asshole. Like, too good.
- Samm Levine as Samuel. And Samm is really good at playing the poor kid who’s always getting picked on. LU NEAL!
Song for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” by Maurice Chevalier
Veronica’s prim and proper look is enhanced by this song on her way to the Zeta Theta Beta rush social.
MARS INVESTIGATIONS, CASE 3.3 “Wichita Linebacker”
Piz is trying to land a DJ gig at the college radio station, so when he hears that the station manager, Trish, needs some detective help, he connects her with Veronica. Trish’s football player boyfriend, Kurt, had his playbook stolen after taking it home (which is against the rules), and if the coach finds out, Kurt could get thrown off the team.
After investigating the two main suspects, Larry, Trish’s ex-boyfriend, and Pop, Kurt’s teammate, Veronica fingers Trish as the culprit. Sick of her boyfriend being mistreated by the coach, Trish thought that getting him kicked off the team would be a good thing, but Kurt obviously feels differently. Even worse, Larry stole the playbook from Trish’s room, gave the info to the opposing team, then used it to place bets with Mercer, a.k.a. the sleaziest guy under 21 since James Spader in Pretty In Pink. To prevent the team from being destroyed by their rivals, Kurt confesses that his playbook was stolen and, having lost his scholarship, leaves Hearst.
Oh yeah, and Veronica goes undercover as a cheerleader. SCORE.
Then there’s the second case, because Veronica is an overachiever. Dean O’Dell, who is threatening to expel her unless she turns over the name of the professor who provided the pot seeds to the Zeta Theta Beta house mom, just had his car vandalized, and he’s convinced the damage was done by the heads of the Lilith House (riot grrls) or the editors of the Lampoon, who are currently engaged in a war over the definition of funny. (Hint: Rape jokes? Not funny.) But Veronica discovers that it’s neither group but rather, Dean O’Dell’s son, who wrecked the car on a joyride then vandalized it to cover his tracks. Thanks for that extra shot, V!
Trips to the Dentist: 5 drinks, 2 shots
File Under The Hearst Rapist
The rapist strikes again, targeting one of the riot grrls featured in the Hearst lampoon.
Life on Mars
Weevil’s back!!!!! And since he lost his temper at his car washing job, he needs to find a new employer or else he has to go back to jail. Of course, Veronica helps him out by getting Keith to hire him as the Mars Investigation receptionist. And you know what that means. WEEVIL IN A BUTTON UP SHIRT AND TIE.
Unfortch, Weevil loses his cool while staking out a potential child abuse case, and Keith has to let him go. But Veronica saves the day again by hooking him up with a handyman position in Dean O’Dell’s office.
The easy LoVe times don’t last long thanks to Veronica’s paranoia and Logan’s taste for trouble. Using the GPS tracker she installed in Logan’s cell phone, Veronica finds him gambling his money away in Mercer’s den of inequity dorm room. They fight, like crazy people do, but it’s all worth it for the incredibly hot make-up make-out session that takes place later in the library (where Veronica now works).
And Piz got his radio show! Little does he know that it’s the first step towards his future with NPR…
MVP (Most Marshmallow’s Valuable Player): Weevil
Weevil! You’re trying so hard to walk the straight and narrow, but when you see a kid being abused, you can’t help but get involved. Also, you look adorable in professional clothes.
And the Snark Award Goes To…
Logan and Veronica for this catty banter:
Veronica: “Which reminds me. Can I borrow your copy of 101 Brooding Comments?”
Logan: “I only have the CliffNotes.”
Neptune Cameos
- Armie Hammer as Kurt. Obviously, Kurt quit Hearst and went on to Harvard, where he got totally screwed by Mark Zuckerberg.
- Ed Begley Jr. as Dean O’Dell.
Songs for a Spy’s Soundtrack: “Hold On, Hold On” by Neko Case, and “Fidelity” by Regina Spektor
I couldn’t choose between these two songs, so I had to include both.
Neko’s voice adds even more sadness to the scene where Keith tells Veronica that he has to fire Weevil.
This song instantly transports me back to 2006, and it’s also a great choice for Veronica’s apology to Logan for not trusting him.
So how did you feel about Season 3 when it originally aired? And, if you’re joining us for the rewatch, has your opinion changed with another viewing?
P.S. TEAM PIZ.
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