About:
Gilmore Girls S5.E02 “A Messenger, Nothing More”
Drinks Taken: 22
Cups of Coffee: 2
We’ve reached Season 5! Last week we all lost our minds as Luke and Lorelai finally locked lips, and that means this week we get to see them together, right? Well, not necessarily. Amy Sherman-Palladino used a pretty clever method of delaying gratification for us, so let’s admire her cunning while groaning together in frustration, shall we?
But first! A reminder of our drinking game rules.
The Gilmore Girls Drinking Game Rules
Drink once every time:
Lorelai or Rory drinks coffee.
Emily gets flustered by Lorelai’s bizarre sense of humor.
Sookie is controlling about food.
Paris is controlling about anything.
Michel snubs a customer.
Luke is crotchety.
Taylor has an absurd scheme for Stars Hollow.
The girls acquire massive amounts of food and then fail to take even one bite.
Drink twice every time:
Kirk has a new job.
You see a town troubadour.
Emily gets a new maid.
On to the episodes!
5.1 “Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller”
I know, I know: I hate using this image, but it had to be done. We have to face the facts, people: Rory slept with a married man. Ick.
So the first episode of Season Five jumps us back several minutes before Season Four ended, with Rory and Dean all glowy in bed, listening to “The Candy Man Can” and whispering sweet nothings to each other. It’s gross. I don’t care how sculpted Jared Padalecki’s shoulders are, okay? (No, I do, I totally care.) We then see Lorelai and Rory’s fight from Dean’s perspective as he lurks out on the porch like a creeper, and then heads home where Lindsay is waiting up with brownies, trying so sweetly to win him over while Dean is just being cruel out of a twisted sense of projected shame. I actively hate him here, but I really salute ASP for reminding us – and any young’ins in the audience who might have been rooting for Dean to dump Lindsay for Rory – that Lindsay isn’t some heartless villain Dean needs to escape. She’s a sweet 19-year-old wife who’s trying her hardest to keep her philandering husband happy, and it’s heartbreaking.
Also heartbreaking: Emily and Richard are fighting worse than ever. They storm home from the Dragonfly, yelling about Pennilynn Lott and Floyd Stiles and a dozen other things, when Emily gets trapped in the basement while collecting her Europe luggage. She then has to climb out of the window to escape (refusing to wait two minutes for Richard to rescue her) and somehow loses her skirt in the process. The neighborhood security guard drives up to find a pantyhosed Emily and a steaming Richard, and it’s all sort of hilarious and embarrassing and very, very sad. Richard: “Do you know what, Emily? If nothing else, this display tonight demonstrates clearly that you are no longer the woman I married.” Emily: “The woman you married was your partner. You listened to her. You consulted with her. You respected her. So you are right, Richard. I am definitely not the woman you married.” She may not be wearing any pants, but she sure got the best of that argument.
Meanwhile, Lorelai heads back to the Dragonfly to deal with the Kirk situation aaaand sort of the Luke situation. This is ASP’s first clever attempt at keeping Luke and Lorelai apart for a bit, maintaining the highly keyed romantic tension without the usual stupid obstacles between fictional couples who are clearly meant to be together: Lorelai’s so preoccupied with the discovery that her precious daughter is kind of a harlot that she isn’t acting as warmly as she might otherwise, post-kiss. Luke seems unsure how she’s feeling about it, and when a sleepy Kirk spills the beans to Sookie (and her overjoyed reaction matches our own), Luke tells her not to say anything because he’s not sure Lorelai wants anyone to know. When Sookie brings it up to Lorelai anyway (I mean, they’re best friends, so obviously), Lorelai isn’t sure either. Remember watching at home for the first time, going insane, convinced we were going to have to wait even longer for these two crazy kids to work it out? Well, we needn’t have worried. When Lorelai gets a second to gather herself, she calls Luke, and they share the greatest phone conversation, which I will repeat in full here.
Luke: “So you wanted to talk.”
Lorelai: “Yeah. I just realized that when I got back last night, I was a little distracted.”
Luke: “Hey, no big deal.”
Lorelai: “No, no, it really was a big deal.”
Luke: “Seriously, you don’t need to – “
Lorelai: “We kissed.” [silence as Luke smiles, recalling the kiss fondly] “You and me, we kissed?”
Luke: “I remember.”
Lorelai: “And it was… unexpected.”
Luke: “Lorelai, relax. I’m fine if you want to just forget it ever happened, really.”
Lorelai: “No, I don’t want to forget it ever happened! It was a great kiss.”
Luke: “Yeah?”
Lorelai: “If one of us had been a frog, it would have had some seriously impressive consequences.”
Luke: “Okay!” [biggest smile]
Lorelai: “So, what do you think?”
Luke: “I think I’m really relieved you feel that way.”
Lorelai: “So you concur?”
Luke: “Dear God, yes.” [SWOOON]
Lorelai: “Good. So then, I guess we’ll discuss this later.”
Luke: “Tonight?”
Lorelai: “Tonight.”
Luke: “Okay. Thanks for the call.”
Lorelai: “Well, my pleasure.”
And then THIS CUTENESS:
eee! In WAY less cute news, Rory has told Lane about Dean (actually, that part was super cute. Lane’s such a supportive, non-judgmental bestie), and then decides that she needs to talk to Dean and find out where they stand, considering, you know, HE’S MARRIED. So they have a shady, clandestine meeting at Miss Patty’s…and immediately have sex again and don’t discuss anything important. (The location is a sneaky callback to the Season One episode where they fell asleep innocently at Miss Patty’s and everyone assumed they had sex.) While this whole thing is despicable, I can’t help but laugh at Lane’s response when Rory tells her she and Dean had sex again, this time at Miss Patty’s: “She would be so proud.” That is true.
Rory’s feeling pretty good about everything despite the myriad reasons she shouldn’t, until she overhears Lindsay trying urgently to perfect the recipe for roast beef because “Dean likes roast beef! We had it at our wedding. His mother makes it every time we go over there. I’m making dinner tonight, and it has to be perfect, so just tell me how to do it again.” GAH, so sad. At this point, at least, Rory has the grace to look guilty, but she’s still acting like a huge jerk to Lorelai, who just wants to talk. Rory the Harlot is stone-walling her hard, however. So when she and Lorelai sit down to lunch with Emily and Emily announces that she and Richard are officially separated and she’s going to Europe for the summer, Lorelai suggests Rory go with her. Rory agrees, sullenly. She leaves for Europe without ever accepting any of the olive branches Lorelai keeps extending, and it makes me want to throttle her. I’m happy for Emily, though!
Lorelai heads home from the airport, exhausted from the daughter drama, to hear a message from Luke on her answering machine. Actually, four messages, each increasingly adorable, as he tells her that Liz and T.J. have been in an accident and broken some limbs, and he has to go help them at the Renaissance Faire because he is the world’s menschiest mensch. This is ASP’s second clever attempt at delaying our gratification, and it’s working. They’re separated by weeks and miles – but Luke bought a cell phone JUST FOR LORELAI, so the episode ends with them flirting on the phone and my heart soaring.
How many times do I have to drink?
11.
How many cups of coffee do the Gilmore girls drink?
None! That’s why they’re so grumpy with each other.
Flirtation quota
Luke and Lorelai phone-flirt better than most people flirt in person.
Rory and Dean…sigh. Yes. They flirted. They had sex and they flirted and he’s still married.
Best/most dated pop culture reference
This is more culture than pop, the source of our episode title when Lorelai tells Rory she should go to Europe with Emily.
Rory: “So what is this, a Henry James novel? The young lady acts up and her family ships her off to Europe? Say goodbye to Daisy Miller!”
Sookie’s best dish of the episode
The breakfast buffet at the Dragonfly looks INSANE. We wants it, my precious.
Lorelai’s craziest outfit
This baby-blue chiffon blouse is kind of ugh. She’s pairing it with some tan pin-striped slacks that make her ass look out of this world, but it doesn’t quite work as an outfit. That said, really good hair day.
Outfit MVP
She’s acting like a brat, but I love her going-to-Europe ensemb.
Kirk insanity
We’re still dealing with the night terror fallout from last week. I don’t want to get into it too much, but he needs Bactine for his butt.
Michel madness
Paw Paw is still hiding somewhere within the Dragonfly, and he ate Taylor’s shoe.
Best Gilmore Gal witticism
Lorelai: “So, wow, you’re really separated?”
Emily: “That’s right. Your father’s moving into the pool house.”
Lorelai: “So then you’re not separated.”
Emily: “Of course we are!”
Lorelai: “You’re separated by the POOL.”
Random observation
Despite the fact that he’s a clingy, useless, rage-prone baby, I’ve always felt kind of sorry for Dean and wanted him to be happy – just not with Rory. Even when he was clearly emotionally cheating on Lindsay, I felt a little sorry for him, because he’s always loved Rory and she broke his heart. But when we see him yell at Lindsay when she’s only trying to get along with him, just minutes after he slept with his ex-girlfriend – that’s when I forever fell off Team Dean. I don’t care how perfect his shoulders are. (No, I still do.)
5.2 “A Messenger, Nothing More”
The above image reminds me that I don’t gush nearly enough about how beautifully shot Gilmore Girls is. The cinematography and art direction on this show are really wonderful, in addition to everything else that makes it a delight.
It’s been seven weeks and Luke’s still at the Ren Faire and Rory’s still in Europe, so Lorelai’s filling her days by becoming a total dictator at the Dragonfly. Everyone calls her The Blur as she buzzes in and out of Stars Hollow businesses and practically lives at the inn, doing everyone else’s job on top of her own. She makes beds, she clears tables, she gardens, she vacuums, she snaps at employees, she does everything EXCEPT focus on the fact that she misses Rory and Luke. Fortunately, Sookie takes her aside and says the one thing Lorelai needed to hear to whip her into shape: “Want to know the last time I saw staff and maids looking this scared of their boss? Your mother’s house.” Lorelai is stricken, and promises to relax. She and Sookie try to take a friend date, and of course they spend the entire time talking about work, but hey, it’s an effort! I appreciate this realistic presentation of what it’s like to open your own business. But all of their hard work is translating into major success, as they’ve been at 90% capacity since opening and they have to turn people away from the restaurant every night! Huzzah!
Speaking of huzzah…Yes, poor Luke has been at the Renaissance Faire for SEVEN WEEKS, which would normally make him monstrously crotchety, but he and Lorelai have kept up a lively phone romance as he gives her all the juicy Ren Faire gossip. TJ is lazier and more annoying than ever, and the less we say about him, the better. (The way he says “Luuuuuke” makes me want to claw my ears straight off my skull.) But Liz is wonderful, telling Luke how happy she is that he and Lorelai have finally worked it out. On his last day, she helps him pick out a necklace to match the earrings he gave Lorelai, and they share a lovely hug. Aww, these two.
And of course Rory’s still palling around Europe with Emily, staying in the poshest hotels and being extremely curt to her mother on the few phone calls Emily can force on her. (Emily obviously knows something’s up with the two of them, and I like that she keeps trying to make Rory reconcile with Lorelai.) But after Rory and Emily find themselves at a corner in Rome where Lorelai and Rory shared some charmingly quirky anecdote on their Europe trip, Rory finally sees the light. She calls Lorelai and offers a VERY good apology, and also sends Lorelai a letter to give to Dean that should “fix” everything.
So, she tries to fix it. She really does. Lorelai delivers Rory’s letter to Dean – a letter in which Rory tells him that their night together was special but he’s married and he has to figure out his life, so Rory’s taking herself out of the picture – and Dean looks like a kicked puppy, asking where Rory’s been, what happened, why did she leave? Are we supposed to feel sorry for you here, Dean? Because we DON’T. I don’t care how hot you look with your new haircut! (I kinda do. I’m sorry! I promise this crush is 100% Jared Padalecki and not even a tiny smidgen Dean Forester.)
And then Lindsay finds the letter in Dean’s coat pocket, and Lorelai and Sookie walk by as Lindsay’s dumping Dean’s belongings out of their second story window. (I guess they finally got that townhome!) Rory returns from Europe and after a warm reconciliation, she and Lorelai head to Luke’s – and run directly into Lindsay and her mom. Dammit, but Stars Hollow is tiny! Lindsay’s mom starts berating Rory, calling her a monster and a homewrecker as Rory stands in mortified silence, Lindsay stands in devastated silence and Lorelai stands up for Rory the way any mom would. Rory takes the opportunity to head to Dean’s house to see how he’s doing, and he just starts yelling at her because he gave up his WIFE and his LIFE for her and now his PARENTS are mad and she blew him off to go to EUROPE and SHUT UP DEAN THAT WAS YOUR CHOICE TAKE YOUR VERY NICE HAIRCUT ELSEWHERE. Both of these scenes are terribly uncomfortable and pretty sad, so let’s enjoy a palate cleanser, shall we?
Rory and Lorelai make it to Luke’s, where they find…Luke! He’s returned! He and Lorelai flirt with verve and then make up an excuse to leave the diner and flirt some more. Luke gives her the necklace and she shows him that she’s already wearing the earrings he gave her, and he looks so deeply pleased. They very nearly kiss…AND a stupid parade interrupts them. Damn you and your incessant festivals, Stars Hollow! Two whole episodes have gone by now since their first kiss and we haven’t seen a follow-up. ASP certainly knows how to keep anticipation at a fever pitch! Still, lovely scene, and smiles all around.
Oh and not for nothing, but Luke got a haircut too. Helloo, sailor.
Finally! Lane’s snippiness every time Zack brings a girl around (actually, Zack only ever seems to bring two girls around at once) has led to her finally realizing that she’s in love with him. She runs this theory by Rory, who doesn’t respond because, as always, she’s too busy thinking about her own stuff. Poor Lane. I care! Go for it, girl! Get yours.
How many times do I have to drink?
11.
How many cups of coffee do the Gilmore girls drink?
2.
Flirtation quota
Man, the EYES Luke and Lorelai give each other, my heavens! I love how comfortable it feels after all the build-up. They’re deliriously giddy, but they’re also cozy and just acting like themselves because they already know each other so well.
Also Emily would be most disappointed if I neglected to mention how flirty all the European men were with her.
Best/most dated pop culture reference
Zack and Brian consider cutting all of their good covers from the set list so their original songs sound better. They decide to only play crappy covers by Men at Work, Chicago, Wings, Styx, Culture Club and Quarterflash. Lane does not concede.
Sookie’s best dish of the episode
We don’t hear about a specific dish – though all of the plates in the dining room look wonderful – but we do hear that Sookie nearly murdered Lorelai after The Dragonfly Dictator rearranged her fridge in the middle of the night.
Lorelai’s craziest outfit
Does this dress have a built-in girdle? On…the outside?
Outfit MVP
Rory’s prim little Europe dresses are all lovely, but I violently covet this one. Maybe more than any other item of clothing we’ve seen yet.
Kirk insanity
Kirkless.
Michel madness
He’s forced to babysit two little overly precocious moppets whose parents are staying at the Dragonfly. It’s not my favorite Michel storyline.
Best Gilmore Gal witticism
After Lorelai suggests to Rory, who’s just returned from Italy, that they dip their pizza in steak sauce.
Rory: “They’d shoot you in Italy for that.”
Lorelai: “But this is America, where we unapologetically bastardize other countries’ cultures in a gross quest for moral and military supremacy.”
Rory: “I forgot. Bring on the imperialistic condiments!”
Random observation
I’m proud of Rory. She made a terrible mistake, but she owned up to it. She made her amends, and that’s all she can do. She’s only 19, after all, and most 19-year-olds don’t accept their mistakes and try to learn from them as readily as Rory has done here. Most of them act like Dean, in fact, and just blame everyone else and whine about it while looking very tall and handsome. Ah-hem.
That’s it for this week! Meet me back here next Wednesday morning for “Written in the Stars” and “Tippecanoe and Taylor Too,” which means we’ll FINALLY start getting some legit Luke and Lorelai action round these parts – and we meet Logan! I’m prepared to argue with you guys on this one.
And until then, I leave you with a question, dear FYA readers: am I letting Rory off the hook too easily, or do you also think she cleaned up her mess the best way she could?
