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The Originals 1x13: Crescent City

Jennie, for one, welcomes our new shirtless overlords.

The Originals 1x13: Crescent City

Previously on The Originals:  Recently resurrected Papa Tunde goes on a vampire-killing spree in order to imbue his magical knife with power (which sounds like a euphemism, but is not). Flashbacks to 1919 reveal that Klaus looked good in a tux and Marcel looked good in an Army uniform.

The Original Dysfunctional Family Drama

Stop, collaborate and listen

One of the teenage witches sacrificed in the Harvest – Monique, Sophie’s niece – is alive! Not just alive, but burst-out-of-a-mausoleum-in-front-of-tourists alive. Good show, Monique. While Marcel thinks that Papa Tunde’s death and Monique’s resurrection means “kill a resurrected Elder, get a teenage witch back,” Klaus accurately notes that the witches are declaring war on the vampires – and Father Kieran the Vampire Sympathizer, who is cursed by Bastiana to suffer the same fate as Cami’s brother.  One of the resurrected witches offers Cami Papa Tunde’s blade and tells her to save Kieran by sinking it into Klaus’ heart.  (Cami, in a rare move that actually doesn’t annoy me, decides not to go ahead with it – she wants to be on the winning side. She’s still a boring chemistry-suck, but less so in this moment.)

It’s actually Sophie who sinks the blade into Klaus’ chest, which disappears inside of him and causes him great torment.

It’s the night of the full moon for the bayou werewolves, which means it’s the single night of the month they are human. What better way to celebrate than to invite them to the plantation for a party?  In attendance is Hayley’s future husband (her parents had her betrothed to one of the bayou werewolves who was NOT from her bloodline). Rebekah, who gets all the best lines in this episode, is both taken aback and delighted when a naked werewolf walks into her kitchen. “I was expecting someone…furrier,” she says, unable to take her eyes off his abs (or something else, the more gutter-minded among us imagines).  “Hayley, the party’s here!”

I digress. Hayley’s intended husband Jackson – Godot from Bunheads, the extremely hot Nathan Parsons – is also the werewolf who has been watching Hayley, since he was supposed to marry her. (If he and Elijah aren’t a compelling case for polyandry, what is?) He explains to her that she is the last of her bloodline and a symbol to the werewolves of a time when things were better: when they could fight back.  He had come there under the impression that Hayley bargained with a witch to free them of their curse – but alas, it was a trap. The house goes up in flames while Rebekah is out in the woods making out with the hot werewolf from the kitchen.  “I’m sorry,” he says, “But this is the deal we made.”  Rebekah finds herself surrounded by the bayou werewolves in their lupine forms.

Elijah tries to bargain with Sabine/Celeste; apparently Elijah knew Sabine was Celeste since Sophie learned there was no magic in Celeste’s remains. Celeste curses him with a kiss (great ring, by the way – want), so that he will only have the strength to save one person – either Klaus, Rebekah, or Hayley, all put in danger by Celeste’s machinations. Someone put on their grumpypants for the last two centuries! Elijah chooses to save Hayley (and Jackson), although whether from romantic attachment, the fact that she's the only mortal person involved, or to protect her innocent child is anyone’s guess.

Celeste is interested in breaking Elijah of his “always and forever” vow (a nice callback to the first episode of the season) to his family and getting revenge on Klaus. According to Bastiana and Monique, the endgame is to rule the French Quarter once again – once the Harvested teenage witches come back, they’ll have enough power to kill all the vampires and anyone else who dares stand in their way.

This last epic “oh shit” moment does a lot to enhance the sense of urgency, danger, and the drive of the witches. Monique coolly murders Sophie (with her mind – a handy talent to have, I suppose, as there wouldn’t be a lot of forensic evidence) as she explains, “The Elders said you didn’t have enough faith.”

It’s going to a long three weeks – the next episode airs on Feb. 25th.

"I'm sorry that you've made another predictably bad decision when it comes to men."

The Original Mythology

- Monique can sense Marcel is telling the truth.
- Klaus can (potentially) compel the curse right off Father Kieran.
- Cami and Kieran’s family – the O’Connells – have been the human counterparts to supernatural New Orleans for generations (?).

The Original Body Count

- Sophie Deveraux, the chaotic neutral (more or less) of the show, appears to be dead. Whether she’ll be resurrected is anyone’s guess.

The Original WTF

- Why is Celeste still leading tours of the cemetery? You’d think she’d have better things to do.
- Did you notice that one of the names on Monique’s tomb was “Stephanie Laveau,” as in Marie Laveau, voodoo queen of New Orleans? Whether the writers intend to do something with the Laveau family or it was just a nod to the actual history of New Orleans (like the Casket Girls), I appreciated that.
- Anyone notice that the Originals’ compound is decorated with what appear to be old horror movie posters?
- Rebekah to Marcel: “You have to find Genevieve [the redheaded witch] and end this…end it like we did last time.” What did they do? I assume this has something to do with Mikael.
- Rebekah: “Josh isn’t dead yet? Well, good on him. I like a good survival story.” Tee hee.
- Hayley is the consummate hostess, pinning clothes for her naked guests on clotheslines. When this madness is over, she should consider becoming the Martha Stewart of the werewolf world.

The Original Joseph Morgan Award for Tortured Hot People

Klaus gets it.

WELCOME, Nathan Parsons. If Bunheads had to be cancelled, I accept your appearance on this show as a peace offering from the gods. Also, casting director, I’m serious: LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK. You consistently bring such joy to my life.  What will you do next to top this, send the entire cast to my house to fan me with palm fronds? *

Two rules for Jackson’s character on this show: 1) he must never die, and 2) his shirtless time must be equal to his beshirted/wolf time. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

* If so, I'll send my address straightaway.

What did you think? Do the witches have a chance? Who's going to die next? To the comments!

Jennie's photo About the Author: Jennie Kendrick lives in San Francisco and has an excessive fondness of historical fiction, spreadsheets, turquoise sparkly things, and bourbon. When she's not reading, writing, or writing about reading, she cooks obsessively, runs an Etsy shop, and thrifts for vintage everything.