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Danger, Danger, High Voltage!

Tahereh Mafi wasn't kidding when she titled the third book in her trilogy.

Danger, Danger, High Voltage!

BOOK REPORT for Ignite Me (Shatter Me Trilogy #3) by Tahereh Mafi

Cover Story: Eyesore
BFF Charm: Single White Female
Swoonworthy Scale: 9
Talky Talk: Foreplay
Bonus Factor: Bad Boy
Relationship Status: Booty Call

Cover Story: Eyesore

When HarperCollins decided to go in a different direction from the initial Shatter Me cover, I was happy to hear it, because YA shelves are currently sporting more Fancy Dresses than a high school prom. But you know what's worse than an irrelevant ballgown? AN IRRELEVANT GIANT EYE.

Even worse, this third cover has a giant eye... with flowers growing out of it. QUOI THE QUOI? Why the hell is the eye, which presumably belongs to Juliette, sprouting a garden? Girl, you need to get that shizz examined before vines take over your entire face. Also, STOP STARING AT ME.

The Deal

If you haven't read the first two novels in this trilogy (Shatter Me and Unravel Me), stop reading this review RIGHT NOW. Then cancel your Valentine's plans, because you've got a sexy reading night ahead of you.

We're now entering spoiler territory (for the first two books and first few pages of book three only)...

After being shot by Anderson and revived by Warner (and Sonya and Sara), Juliette wakes up to find the battle lost and Omega Point blown to bits, resulting in the presumed death of all of her friends. Well, except for Warner, THANK GOD. He's keeping Juliette safe by concealing her in his private quarters (HEY-O) until they can figure out a plan to rescue Sonya and Sara and take down their kidnapper, Anderson. Thirsty for vengeance, Juliette's got super-strength and nothing to lose, so she's finally ready to be deserving of Warner the badass destroyer of The Reestablishment.

Aaaaand that's pretty much all I can tell you without stumbling into Major Spoilerville.

BFF Charm: Single White Female

It's taken three books, but I finally like Juliette. Confident and determined, she's definitely evolved since her pathetic scaredy cat days. (It also really helps that she stopped doing this crap.) But let's be honest, I only hang out with the girl so I can be close to my fictional lover, Warner.

So instead of being friends with Juliette, who, frankly, is still kinda boring, I'd rather just steal her identity so I can take care of business* and get shizz done**.

*By business, I mean Warner.

**By shizz, I mean Warner.

Swoonworthy Scale: 9

I wasn't sure if Tahereh Mafi could top the hotness of Unravel Me because BURNING FLAMES, but damn, she has truly outdone herself with certain scenes in Ignite Me. At one point, I was seriously considering changing my name to Katniss because THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE.

I don't want to ruin anything for you guys, but

Which led to

And then

In case I'm not being clear enough, PANTIES WILL BE MELTED.

Talky Talk: Foreplay

Saying you read this trilogy for the story is like saying you read Playboy for the articles. I mean, you can pretend that you truly care about the supporting characters, like Kenji and that leader guy and what's her name, or that you really connect with the plight of the people living in... a dystopian future America? I forget. But you would be lying to yourself, because the concept of this series isn't very compelling, and the plotline is erratic and full of holes. Don't even get me started on the uneven pacing, which leads to some terribly anticlimatic moments in this book.

Tahereh Mafi still has some growing to do as an author, but there's one area that she's got locked down-- steamy scenes. In fact, if she gets any better at it, I'll need to start taking blood pressure medication.

Bonus Factor: Bad Boy

WARNER GET INTO MY PANTS RIGHT NOW.

If we had a Bad Boy Hall of Fame (and by if, I mean WE WILL), Warner would be one of our first inductees. He's ruthless, he's intense, and he's a little bit scary. That gorgeous face masks a world of pain that I desperately want to heal with my lady parts.

I just wish Juliette would quit calling him by his first name, because Aaron just isn't... sexy. Although I guess there are worse names *cough* Tobias *cough*.

Casting Call:

I'll go ahead and keep most of Erin's casting, but I can't waste an opportunity to do this:

Freddie Stroma as Warner

And I'll be playing the role of Juliete. Obviously.

Relationship Status: Booty Call

My hook-up with this book was exactly what I was looking for: WHAM, BAM, THANK YOU MA'AM WARNER.

FTC Full Disclosure: I received a free review copy from HarperCollins. I received neither cocktails nor money for this review. Ignite Me is available now.

Posh Deluxe's photo About the Author: Sarah lives in Austin, TX, where she programs films at the Alamo Drafthouse. Sarah enjoys fancy cocktails, dance parties and anything that sparkles (except vampires).