HEY Y'ALL! Now that Connie Britton is on Twitter, I'm tempted to tweet at her every other minute while watching this show. I mean, let's be honest, most of my tweets would be something along the lines of, "Seriously. Your hair. It is AMAZING," or, "WHAT IS YOUR HAIR SECRET?" But then occasionally I'd throw in a little bit of sass. Like, seriously, Connie, can't you just march into the writers room and DEMAND a better show? You're magic! You can do anything!
At any rate, here's what happened this week:
- Luke tells a sweet story about crushing on Rayna since the '92 State Fair! Awww, Luke! But this isn't about Luke being sweet, it's about the writers setting him up to be really pissed that he can never truly replace Deacon in Rayna's life.
- Speaking of Deacon, he manages to avoid alcohol (I'M SO RELIEVED) while reeling from the news about Lady Lawyer and Teddy. Dude, Deacon, that bish is SO not worth falling off the wagon. Holed up at his cabin, he completely misses the paparazzi orgasm over Maddie's video, which has now hit The View. Rayna, accompanied by a v. protective Luke, delivers the news to Deacon and asks him to appear with her and Teddy to make a public statement. Obviously, he's all EFF NO, TEDDY CAN SUCK IT. So then we all get to enjoy the moment when Rayna SLAMS Teddy for hooking up with Lady Lawyer. Hooray!
- But right before Teddy and Rayna go live with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America, Deacon shows up! And then he's... really mature? And calm? And collected? WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH DEACON? So now the world knows that Maddie is Deacon's daughter, aaaand they know that he's an alcoholic, and it all goes over... really well? I guess this is what happens when you're honest with the press! (HA HA JK. In the real world, the paparazzi would stalk Maddie until she's 50. And even then, People would still feature her in their "Where Are They Now?" issue.)
- After the GMA interview, Luke makes a quick exist (he's pissed that Deacon handled it so well), and Rayna has a heart to heart with Deacon, who is still upset that she waited so long to tell him about Maddie. But Rayna has a right to be sad as well, because she's mourning the life she thought they could have had. "I wanted to be your wife," she says, to which I replied, "YOU STILL CAN! GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW!"
- Scarlett's mama (a.k.a. Tyra's mama in Friday Night Lights) makes a surprise visit, and she turns out to be the WORST MOTHER ALIVE. She makes Juliette's mama look like Tami Taylor. for real. It's obvious that she terrorized and abused Scarlett as a kid, and to fight back, Scarlett plays "Black Roses" in sound check and dedicates it to her mother. It's great to see Scarlett finally showing some gleams of her former awesomeness, but DAMN was that the wrong move. Scarlett's mama flies off the handle, and then, to cope with going on stage, Scarlett tosses back some pills and booze, then proceeds to have an emotional breakdown on stage when she sees her mother in the crowd. Man, that scene made me burrow into my couch.
- Charlie Wentworth is back! Charlie Wentworth is back! And he's in Chicago, which just so happens to be Juliette's next tour stop. She meets with him to ask for more radio play, since the country stations are still ignoring her, and he agrees with a big ole kiss. To Juliette's credit, she tells him that she loves Avery, and he backs off. Then, when Juliette tells Avery what happened (during a romantic bathtub rendezvous), he's... totally mature about it? Why is everyone in this episode suddenly being so g-d mature? Did Nashville move to the BBC? But this healthy emotional streak doesn't last long, because when Avery catches Charlie back stage at Juliette's show, he can't resist the temptation to tell him to STEP OFF, and then he almost punches Charlie in the face when he discovers him talking to a pre-breakdown Scarlett. So much for maturity!
- Gunnar gets a royalty check for $400k, and he decides to use it to record Zoey's demo, which is apparently so good, she needs to head to LA immediately to start auditioning for back-up singing gigs. YES. Great idea, Zoey! Do that! And NEVER COME BACK.
Best Sassy Lady Line:
Everyone was so busy being all mature and emotionally healthy (well, except Scarlett) in this episode, I didn't spot ONE zinger. Not ONE.
Rayna vs Juliette: (Who won?)
Well, Juliette DID get to kiss Charlie Wentworth, and even if she doesn't want to be with him, and even if he's not really a good person, he's still a smokin' slice of British hotness. Meanwhile, Rayna had to wrestle with the press hounding Maddie, and she had to get all sad over Deacon, so... yeah, Juliette won, no question.
As much as I prefer scenes that do not include Teddy, I have to go with Rayna railing on him for hooking up with Lady Lawyer. She looked just as grossed out as she should be, because she used to be MARRIED to that dickwad. UGH. Shake it off, honey, shake it off.
I also adored the scene when Maddie asked Daphne to forgive her for making the video (without her sister) and for just being a teenage brat. Super sweet.
Deacon and Rayna rehashing the Maddie discussion because THIS MEANS THEY'RE GETTING TOGETHER SOON RIGHT? RIGHT?!!!
- Juliette, when Scarlett comes into your dressing room looking like she's on the verge of an emotional meltdown, maybe that's because SHE'S ON THE VERGE OF AN EMOTIONAL MELTDOWN. And instead of just saying you understand, because you had a rough time with your own mom, but NBD, just go on with the show, maybe next time you should ASK SOME QUESTIONS?!
- How much did Whoopi have to pay the writers to get to be the "reasonable" one on The View?
- Are the writers REALLY going to break Avery and Juliette up over Charlie because I WILL BE PISSED. As much as I lust over that dude, I'm still really loving Avery and Juliette together.
- Was this Zoey's last episode on the show? We can dream, right?
Based on the preview for the Nashville concert special, It looks like the writers have FINALLY figured out what we've been saying all this time: "Three weeks from now, Nashville is ALL about the music!" Um, yeah, can that just be the series from now on? You can keep your dramz, just HAND OVER THE SONGS.
Per yooj, leave your rants/raves/predictions in the comments.