Previously on The Originals: Klaus, Hayley, Elijah and Marcel team up to take out the Guerrera werewolves, and Mommy/Daddy/Brothers Original start planning a family reunion.
"No, Hayley, that jacket absolutely has to go."
The Original Dysfunctional Family Drama
Let’s hand it to Manic Pixie Teen Mom – she was running the show pretty well, right up to the point where Klaus recognized her. Did she want to be recognized? Does she realize that Mikael is alive? All we know is that her name in this incarnation is “Cassie” and she’s been making moonlight rings for the wolves – and sending her sons out to do her dirty work.
The dirty work in this case is wooing Davina, who is the only one (besides Mikael) who knows where the white oak stake is located. Koleb (Kaleb’s body, Kol’s latest incarnation, for those of you just joining us) is sent to take her out to coffee (to get her out of the attic – he stands her up, dick) and then dinner (she accepts even after that malarkey, oh, to be 17 again). Meanwhile, Elijah and Marcel are doing a little witch-wooing of their own, to no avail – but Davina’s refusal to play nice tips Elijah off to the fact that she’s the one with the stake.
Meanwhile, Klaus goes to educate Cassie/Manic Pixie Teen Mom on what she’s allowed to do in his city. She makes it clear that she would like to unite the wolves and witches, and refers to the vampires as a plague. (Side note: is it just me or is this actress fairly terrible? Any time she interacts with Finn or says something Dramatic and Meaningful I giggle.) At this point, paired with some other clues (like saying she’d like to send Klaus to his room – surely the cruelest punishment in all of history), Klaus figures it out. DRAMABOMB! Instead of snapping her neck right then and there, he goes home to tell Elijah what’s up.
The thing is, Elijah has some news of his own: Daddy’s back! While Koleb was trying to woo Davina over dinner, Finn showed up with some wolves to get things moving at a more acceptable pace. (Truly, the only time Finn has ever tried to inspire more excitement.) Davina panics and calls for Mikael, who shows up to save/eat Davina. In the process, she loses her magical bracelet – but who else shows up? Oh right, Marcel and Elijah. Davina saves Elijah from death at his father’s hands (so far), but is otherwise terribly ungrateful for the help in, oh, I don’t know, SAVING HER LIFE AND CORRALING THE VAMPIRE WHO HUNTS VAMPIRES. Goddamn kids these days.
Hayley, for her part, is starting to recapture her bayou kingdom (and I’m sorry, but anytime we talk about the bayou all I can think of is V.C. Andrews’ Ruby series) with a little help from Klaus. Klaus is all too willing to play the Big Bad so that Hayley looks like a merciful and just ruler in comparison.
The episode is rounded out with some flashbacks to the 19th century, showing the dynamic between Elijah, Klaus, and Marcel – and how Elijah bowed out to foster Klaus’ unselfish love of Marcel. (Klaus brought Kol back to get revenge on Elijah when he perceived Marcel loved Elijah more, but frankly, that was boring and predictable.)
Finally, Koleb gets his revenge on Manic Pixie Teen Mom by not exactly telling her that Mikael is back. Oh, I am enjoying the possibility of a surprise reunion immensely. Come, vampire soap opera, give me what I crave.
The Original Mythology
- No mythology this time – at least nothing we didn’t already know about.
The Original Body Count
- The wolves sent to attack Davina died at the hands of Mikael.
- Marcel killed the female violin (viola?) player – in order to turn her into a vampire.
The Original Elegant Uncle Elijah Ruined Suit Count: 1.5
- Thanks to the white oak stake, Elijah’s pristine shirt is ruined. Rude.
The Original WTF
- “Are we running a kennel now?” Oh Klaus. Tee hee. Perhaps best not to insult your baby mama’s family, though. Save that for when they passive-aggressively text and treat you all like you never progressed past age ten.
- Elijah, what the hell were you thinking? For all Klaus’ demented posturing and planning, Elijah’s misguided nobility is just as damaging. Perhaps not in the case of Mini Marcel, but what benefit does Hayley gain from him rejecting her?
- I love that chamomile tea is supposed to be this big tip-off that Cassie is Esther, Manic Pixie Teen Mom. You guys, anything that the average American can buy from Celestial Seasonings is not a tip off. You know what it really tells me? That Manic Pixie Teen Mom doesn’t have a ragweed allergy.
The Original Joseph Morgan Award For Tortured Hot People
"I lost my child. Don't you dare judge my jacket -- or the strange pockets on my pants."
I’ve got to hand it to Hayley, who makes grief (and a terrible, terrible acid washed jacket) look good.
Next episode: Manic Pixie Teen Mom invites her enfants terrible to dinner. I’d like to see her Pinterest board for that.