Previously on The 100, Clarke discovers that the Mt. Weather gang is harvesting blood from the Grounders (ew!), Lincoln gets kidnapped by Reapers, and Abby frees Bellamy, who takes Finn and Malfoy on an expedition to find Clarke.
After three episodes, I'm getting the sense that someone at the CW was like, "Guys, we need to turn The 100 up to The Eleven." And I would like to find that person and give them a walloping high five, because YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU. Everything this season is five times more intense and more disgusting and more just straight up WTF. It's balls to the wall shock and awe (well, as much as you can get away with on network TV), and I'm digging it.
Okay, so here's what happened this week:
At Mt. Weather:
- Clarke frees Anya from the creepy blood factory, in spite of the fact that Doctor Lady seems hell bent on starring in her own '80s metal video by walking amongst the cages and letting prisoners try to grope her. Honestly, where was White Snake in all this? The duo makes it to some kind of containment elevator, which then drops them through a trap door and down a slide until they land on... TONS OF DEAD BODIES. What, Mt. Weather wouldn't spring for a ball pit? While the corpse situation is a bummer, the good news is that the gals are free! They head down a tunnel until they encounter Reapers, so they jump into a mine cart to hide, only to be once again COVERED IN DEAD BODIES. Damn, show, you really are racing for pinks. A Reaper pushes the cart up the tracks until it arrives at some kind of bonfire party (what, no drum circle?) and Clarke and Anya make their second escape of the night. But this ain't no Thelma and Louise, and Anya decides to split, leaving Clarke to fend for herself when the Reapers show up again. Right before she gets dismembered, men in hazmat suits arrive and drive away the Grounders using a high frequency sound, kinda like dogs and that electric fence thing? It's a false rescue, however, because they turn around and march her towards the Harvest Chamber, which cannot be good. Lucky for Clarke, Anya shows up and attacks, then she and Clarke run towards the end of tunnel, which is basically a high, high, high dive into a waterfall. They both make like Harrison Ford and jump!
After they wash up on shore without any broken bones, Anya celebrates by smashing a rock against Clarke's head and saying, "You killed 300 of my warriors. I can't show face without a prize." So, I guess she's still kinda pissed?
- Maya takes Jasper on a hot date through
Hangar 51 some kind of archive to show him some paintings, and they almost kiss! I'm not sure who got hit over the head harder-- Clarke by Anya, or us by this show trying to be all ROMANCE! I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Jasper, but where's the chemistry? Monty, not distracted by girls, notices Clarke's absence, and eventually even Jasper starts to worry. He decides they can trust Maya enough to ask about Clarke's whereabouts, but when Maya tells them that Clarke is in the psych ward, I have to wonder, is she lying? Or being lied to?
At Camp Jaha:
- Kane realizes that Abby let out the prisoners, and Mayor Byrne (I really want to spell that Major Burn, so I will!) insists that she needs to be punished as an example for the rest of the camp. After a group returns with a Grounder prisoner (did anyone else think for a second that they had Lincoln? I know, I know, not all Grounders look the same) and one of the guards accidentally shoots someone else (please tell me the CW is pushing gun control), Kane gets nervous about the chaos and sentences Abby to ten lashes. SAY WHAT. That's cold, Kane. But after Abby endures her punishment, Kane shows up and sort of apologizes? Because he's realized that there has to be a better way. Uh, couldn't you have figured this out before Abby got her back sliced open? Well, whatever, he wants to lead a rescue mission and negotiate for peace with the Grounders, so he hands over his Chancellor pin to Abby. Finally, a woman in charge! (If only this could happen in real life.)
In the wild:
- Finn, Bellam, Malfoy and the two blonde kids discover a Grounder camp, where they spot a one-eyed dude sporting Clarke's watch around his neck. They take him down (surprisingly easily?) and then try to beat the truth out of him in an underground bunker. Finn, in a surprise twist, is the most violent, and he finally gets an answer about the location of the missing kids... which I think might be a lie? He draws them a map, and then the gang argues about whether or not to kill him. Malfoy is, of course, pushing for him to die, while Bellamy is getting his Gandhi on. But Finn ends the argument by SHOOTING THE GROUNDER IN THE HEAD WHAT. My, how the tables have turned!
- Octavia approaches Indra with an offer to help find Lincoln, but Madam President sends her goons after her. It seems weird that Octavia can run faster than the people native to the land until we realize that it's all a ruse, and Indra wants to use Octavia as bait to draw out the Reapers. It works, and after a bloody skirmish (in which Octavia kicks some major ass with a sword), they free the Grounder prisoners... none of whom are Lincoln. Octavia is then left with nothing to do but SCREAM!!!!! I don't know if it's her vocal chords or her fighting skills, but the Grounders decide that she has proven herself, and she is now accepted into the tribe.
- The episode ends with Doctor Lady walking down a row of Grounder prisoners and declaring whether or not they are fit for harvest. Then she reaches a person that gives her pause... LINCOLN! After a closer look, she says, "Mark this one for the Cerberus Program." I can only assume this means some kind of modeling school, because THOSE ABS.
Mt. Weather 101:
- These assholes harvest Grounder blood so they can heal more quickly and (I presume) develop an immunity to the sun's rays.
- They have something called the Cerberus Program. It's probably not a modeling school.
Death Toll: 0
- I'm only counting kids from The 100 here, and I don't think any of them died in this episode. We did lose quite a few Reapers, but... great?
Maya (looking at a painting): Beautiful, isn't it?
Jasper (looking at Maya): Yeah, it is.
Octavia: I am not afraid.
Indra: You will be.
Hey writers, how about we try not recycling cliched lines from action movies?
- What's up with Jasper and Monty's shirts? They're like button up Hypercolor.
- When will everyone stop having gross stuff on their faces? The hotness factor of this show is really hurting right now, y'all.
- How did Lincoln end up at the human camp?
- What is the Cerberus Program? (Definitely not a modeling school.)
Leave your rants/raves/predictions in the comments and let's CONVO.
Next episode: "Many Happy Returns"
Check out our The 100 themed t-shirts!