Previously on The Originals: Hayley and Jackson are getting hitched, the vampires and werewolves are locked in the compound together, and Rebekah is haunted by the ghost of her sister Freya.
"Talk to the hand 'cause the Finn ain't listening."
The Original Dysfunctional Family Drama
FLASHBACK TIME: in 1918, Marcel puts on his very best Sexy Soldier uniform and fights, much against the will of Klaus, in WWI. Klaus says a lot of words about betrayal and prodigal sons in a shouty voice, but it’s hard to focus with that uniform beckoning us to reach out and touch someone. Marcel, fighting against the Germans, meets Record Store Joe, who notices Marcel never seems to die. The all-black unit, whom the leader calls “the brotherhood of the damned” because they’re only there to stall the enemy, needs a new leader, and Marcel is ready to step up.
Klaus arrives at the battlefield with a two course lady meal and the instruction to return home, but Marcel isn’t having it. “Family are the people who you will fight for, and those who will fight for you. I am with family,” he shouts. And what better way to show family that you care, but by turning them all into vampire super soldiers? No one ever mentioned this in undergrad, man -- it’s like they’re trying to keep the truth of WWI from us.
In the vampire compound, Marcel’s trying to keep everyone from killing Kol (because that face! That voice!) while suffering the werewolf-bite-induced hallucinations. He tries to rally his modern troops into beating the hunger, but Josh and Gia notice the werewolf bite.
Meanwhile, Klaus is trying to get Davina to find Rebekah, but she’s mostly interested in saving Kol. Once she locates Finn, Klaus swoons into a heap.
Elijah is still stuck in the safe house with Cami, namedropping Freud to get her to shut up with the psychobabble already. It doesn’t work; she starts prying about Elijah’s red door hallucinations. He, too, collapses under the weight of Finn’s machinations. Similarly, Kol collapses in front of Marcel and his crew.
IN FINN’S DREAMWORLD: the brothers’ minds have become trapped in a “chamber de chasse,” or a “witch hunting room.” Each brother is represented by an animal head: the big bad wolf (Klaus), the noble stag (Elijah), the sly fox (Kol), and the boar (Finn). Finncent's villain speeches are more than should be boarne, am I right? But at least he recognizes that Koleb's new body is totally foxy. (I'll show myself out.) This gives Finn the captive audience he needs to whine about the 900 years he spent in a coffin, again. Finn wants to take the city away from Klaus, mistakenly thinking that’s the thing he loves the most; he thinks he’ll accomplish this by dropping the barrier spell and unleashing the vampires onto a tourist parade. (Traditional New Orleans Parades are the new High School Dance.) He lets Kol go, who promptly warns Marcel about the sundown barrier drop.
Oops! Finn is onto Klaus after he taunts his brothers enough: he doesn’t hold New Orleans, Rebekah, Elijah, or his real father above all. What, or who could it be, Finn wonders. It turns out that the repsentational magic he’s using to entrap the brothers doesn’t work if someone is misrepresented – so Elijah confesses to Klaus that he killed Tatia. Since this was a noble thing to do, the spell holds. However, when Klaus forgives (!) Elijah, rhapsodizing once more about the importance of family, the spell collapses. It’s a great moment that shows the overarching character growth Klaus has undergone since the beginning of the show.
Out in the bayou, Hayley and Jackson are getting ready for their mystical wedding. They need moonlight rings, an elder, some trials, and, oh, some psychotropic drugs in a peace pipe. Seems legit. They meet up with Jackson’s grandmother, who lets them know that they’re going to have to smoke some magical root that will make sure there are no lies between them. In fairness, that’d certainly be one hell of a way to find out that your new fiancée’s baby wasn’t actually murdered in a ritual.
Jackson runs out after Hayley, begging her to participate in the ritual. He growl-vows to take her secrets and demons as her own, and fight them with her – with a speech like that (and a mane like that), it’s no wonder Hayley is into it. Klaus, however, catches wind of this, and is not pleased whatsoever.
Finally, when the barrier spell is dropped, Marcel rallies his troops and they walk through the parade, fighting the hunger. Apparently there are no back entrances or other roads in the French Quarter. Davina finds Kol (and totally makes out with his pretty, pretty face); Marcel gets Klaus’ blood in time to give Gia a pat on the back and face off with Finn. Will Finn be able to rip the secret of Hope out of Marcel?
"This decor is so Viking-derelicte-chic."
The Original Mythology
- Finn is channeling his parents and using representational magic. If anyone is misrepresented by the spell-caster in the vision, the vision crumbles.
The Original Body Count
- Thanks to some ill-begotten blood bags, no one dies.
The Original Elegant Uncle Elijah Ruined Suit Count: 4
- Elijah remains as fresh as a daisy. 11 episodes and only 4 ruined suits? Writers, what’s up? What do you have against supporting laundromats?
The Original WTF
- “Hate the war, love the hats.” Oh Klaus.
- Davina sure wears her sassy pants a lot these days.
The Original Joseph Morgan Award For Tortured Hot People
I'm going to have to give it to Marcel (oh I'll give it to him, she leers) because THAT UNIFORM. We've seen him in it before, and if the writers want to keep weaving 1918 threads (pun fully intended) into this season, I am here for it.
Next episode: Finn tortures Marcel for information, and Klaus goes down to the bayou to offer his blessing.
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