Previously on The Originals: Marcel flashes back to WWI and narrowly avoids death from werewolf bite, Hayley might have to tell Jackson that Hope is alive, and Finn is a
Not the ghost of Avril Lavigne after all.
The Original Dysfunctional Family Drama
THE KINDRED’S HOME FOR WACKY WAYWARD WITCHES: Rebekah is having some crazy dreams about Freya being turned over to Aunt Dahlia, then goes off stealing apples and handing them off like the FDA Fruit Fairy. You might be stuck in an asylum, but by golly, you will GET your recommended daily servings of fruit!
We meet Freya in the common room, enjoying the finest that Tom & Jerry have to offer – Rebekah seems to recognize her, despite her being locked in a dusty coffin, but the connection isn’t quite there yet. When a nurse starts slamming Freya’s head against a table for “stealing” an apple, Rebekah punches a witch in the head and gets a broken hand for her trouble. Yeow. Us girls stick together indeed.
Freya starts lecturing Rebekah on standing beside her family, but Rebekah is too focused on escaping the asylum to realize her older sister is standing right there in front of her. Rebekah tries to get out of the asylum but Cassie – the vessel for Esther – has joined up with the Kindred people. Before they can attack Rebekah, Freya shows up to lay down some serious justice in the name of Tom & Jerry. I’m dead serious: she compares the asylum staff to a children’s cartoon. Then she strolls out the front door like a boss and gives Rebekah a message for their brothers: behave.
BACK IN THE BAYOU: Never fear, Klaus is here! He’s going to make sure Hayley doesn’t tell Jackson about baby Hope, no matter how luxuriously Jackson’s hair waves in the gentle wind or how intensely he gazes upon Hayley’s obscenely symmetrical features. Jackson says he has a secret of his own, one that Hayley might not be able to deal with: his grandfather was the wolf who killed Hayley’s parents. Hayley doesn’t blame Jackson, and looks ready to offer up her own news – but before she can, Klaus intrudes upon the couple and wants to talk to Hayley.
Hayley trusts Jackson and his potential werewolf army; Klaus doesn’t. He tells Hayley to call the wedding off. (Dammit, Klaus, two steps forward last episode and one step back here.) Hayley drops the truth bomb that it’s Klaus who is the real danger to their daughter: he’s got a million enemies and is too paranoid to see that her wedding could help Hope.
Klaus genuinely tells Hayley that he does indeed trust her…and snaps her neck, because he doesn’t trust Jackson. He informs Jackson that he intends to execute him, because apparently speechifying runs in the Mikaelson blood. I guess when you are a centuries-old hybrid you don’t have to just murder people and run. This is convenient, because Hayley shows up to defend Jackson and reiterate that ffs, Klaus, SHE TRUSTS HIM.
Klaus backs down and tells Hayley to get married and tell Jackson their secret – but if Jackson betrays her, he’ll put Jackson’s head on a spike. This is all just a means to an end, though – once they’re married, Jackson’s fate will be a little less certain.
FINNCENT’S OEDIPAL FANTASY LAND: Kol and Davina put their unlinking-spell plans aside when Davina gets panicked texts from Aiden that Josh and Marcel are still missing – unconscious and trapped in a room with Finn’s Super Villain Speeches. My god, Finncent, have you no humanity at all? No one should have to listen to more than two of those per year!
Finn wants to torture Klaus’ secrets out of Marcel, but of course, Marcel has been compelled to forget what he knows. During yet another mustache-twirling performance, Kol shows up to join up with Finn (he likes that Finn turned Mikael into a “black magic battery pack”). Finn realizes that Aiden and Davina are with him, and curses Kol to remain Koleb until his “meaningless, lonely death.” “I will not miss you,” Finncent declares, which is the worst parting shot since the Eagles sang “now you’ll have to each your lunch all by yourself.”
By the end of the episode, Finncent has figured out that Hope is alive, and he’s going to make Marcel’s vampire army find her.
The Original Mythology
- Apparently Finn has the power to prevent Kol from body-jumping.
The Original Body Count
- No one died.
The Original Elegant Uncle Elijah Ruined Suit Count: 4
- Elijah remains pristine.
The Original WTF
- Sign me up for lessons in Davina’s glitter location spell. It’s sparkle time!
- MARCEL CALLED FINN A CHUMP, which is the true gift of Season 2. ILU MARCEL.
- “You sound like Sherlock Holmes after one too many tequilas.” TRUTH.
The Original Joseph Morgan Award For Tortured Hot People
This week, I'm giving it to Klaus, who shows us all that the a hefty dose of charm goes a long way in villain speeches. Take note, Finncent!
Next episode: Finncent's on the hunt and Klaus wants to kill his family, what else is new?