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FYA JAM: You Give Love A Bad Name

Valentine's Day might be over, but memories of terrible exes linger. Join us in celebrating life without them!

FYA JAM: You Give Love A Bad Name

Welcome back to FYA JAM! We've dug deep into the archives -- and our souls -- to bring you the best in breakup songs. Even if you're happily coupled up now, we've all had that bad breakup we thought we wouldn't survive, only to find out we were better off without them. This month, our playlist starts out with a breakup, descends into sadness and anger, and then, finally, finishes up with a little acceptance.

[Y'all, how glad is Jennie that Taylor Swift has shunned Spotify? Otherwise, "BLANK SPACE" ALL DAY ALL NIGHT. -MW]

[I VETO TAYLOR SWIFT NOW AND FOREVERRRRRR. - J]

1. "Found Out About You" -- Gin Blossoms

Jennie: Ah, the classic tale of boy meets girl, boy hears rumors about girl cheating on him, boy breaks up with girl.

2. "Love Stinks" -- J. Geils Band

Mandy: I love when a song tells a story, so let J. Geils and his band paint you a picture of unrequited love through music. (Related: I own this song from the Mr. & Mrs. Smith soundtrack, a purchase I still stand by a decade later.)

3. "Poor Ol' Brokenhearted Me" -- The Trews

Mandy: Get ready to rock out with your high energy wallowing out! If you were expecting the previous sentence to end in a rhyme -- well, take a guess at which lyric is my fave.

4. "Post Break-Up Sex" -- The Vaccines

Mandy: No judgment re: rebounds here. You do you. Or you do somebody else safely, if that's the case.

5. "I Never Came" -- Queens of the Stone Age

Jennie: As if I could resist following up the last song with this one. Perfect for when you're reflecting upon how bad your ex was.

6. "You're So Vain" -- Carly Simon

Jennie: This might be the reason for the previous song. If you're too busy looking in mirrors...

7. "Rolling in the Deep" -- Adele

Mandy: Adele post-breakup is pretty much what anyone would want to be: a classy, scathing force of nature.

Jennie: Where was Adele when I needed her?!

8. "Where Does the Good Go" -- Tegan and Sara

Mandy: For when you're not quite ready to get over it yet, and you're holding out hope.

9. "Dancing on My Own" -- Robyn

Mandy: For when you're not quite ready to get over it yet, and that hope is slightly diminished. At least you have your killer dance moves and the subject of the next song.

10. "Dancing By Myself" -- Billy Idol

Mandy: Billy Idol's ode to masturbation!

Jennie: You do you. Literally.

11. "You Give Love a Bad Name" -- Bon Jovi

Mandy: How could anyone resist singing/shouting along with Bon Jovi's brokenhearted battle cry? Or THE VIDEO OMG THE VIDEO.

Jennie: Ah, the 80s. #blessed

12. "Another One Bites the Dust" -- Queen

Jennie: This one was on heavy rotation after my first bad breakup, when I finally stopped crying long enough to get angry, and got replayed every time I broke up with someone else. It never fails to make me giggle.

13. "Bad Boyfriend" -- Garbage

Mandy: Toxic relationships, part 1: when you think two wrongs make a right.

Jennie: Shirley Manson is the queen of bitter breakup songs.

14. "Bad Romance" -- Lady Gaga

Mandy: Toxic relationships, part 2: when you know it can't end well.

Jennie: This song becomes more uplifting when you pretend the lyrics are about writing heaving bosoms and swords of manhood.

15. "I Hate Myself For Loving You" -- Joan Jett

Mandy: Toxic relationships, part 3: when even you're telling yourself to get a grip and end that shizz.

Jennie: And let us not forget that Joey sang this at a biker bar, on Dawson's Creek. PUNK ROCK YOU GUYS.

16. "Violet" -- Hole

Jennie: "When they get what they want, they never want it again." Ooooh, ouch. We've all been there.

17. "You Oughta Know" -- Alanis Morrissette

Mandy: If you're going on a warpath, you'd better bring along an expert. Alanis is totally necessary.

Jennie: This song was around for my breakups, and lo, it is satisfying. I was singing along with it in the car with my husband recently, and he looked a little scared that I knew all the words. IT'S A CLASSIC.

18. "Sometime Around Midnight" -- Airborne Toxic Event

Mandy: Unexpected Michael Corleone run-in with an ex! ("Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!")

Jennie: All exes should observe the Dead to Me rule.

19. "Somebody That I Used To Know" -- Gotye & Kimbra

Jennie: Eventually, unless you dated nicer people than I did, they all just become somebody that you haven't talked to since 2009.

 

And now, a bonus (NSFW, language) video! For when your exes realize that they can't live without you, remember: no booty calls, deck.

 

We'll see you back here in April, after the March Madness dust has settled! In the meantime, what are your favorite breakup songs? (Or, if you want to embrace the FYA cathartic comment section, tell us about your worst breakup.)

Jennie's photo About the Author: Jennie Kendrick lives in San Francisco and has an excessive fondness of historical fiction, spreadsheets, turquoise sparkly things, and bourbon. She is also a literary agent with Lupine Grove Creative. When she's not reading, writing, or writing about reading, she cooks obsessively, runs an Etsy shop, and thrifts for vintage everything.