Previously on The Originals: Dahlia shows Klaus how Hope will suffer without her guidance, Elijah realizes Freya is not on the up and up, Hayley and Jackson are on the run, and we all say goodbye to Aiden.
The Original Dysfunctional Family Drama
It’s the penultimate episode! Two major things: Klaus is playing the long con (when is he not?) and CLAIRE HOLT IS COMING BACK.
Why. Why. WHY?! does anyone bother to try to outsmart Klaus? It rarely happens, and he almost always gets what he wants plus revenge in the process.
Let’s organize by species classification today.
Dahlia is off creating a huge, moody storm to help stop Hayley from running, and invites Klaus to massacre most of a parade (which he happily does. Drunken New Orleanseans – the energy drink of champions). She’s not happy that Klaus hasn’t already killed his entire family in an effort to get his daughter back, however. Klaus moodily responds that he shouldn’t be expected to run around in “this monsoon you’ve created.” Yes, let no weather ruin your black t-shirts and assorted necklaces, you gem, you.
Freya’s still the bait to lure Dahlia into their trap (she was injected with Hope’s blood), and isn’t happy about it. She stomps around the compound, complaining about Klaus, until Elijah points out that Dahlia is the true enemy. Luckily for everyone, she’s finished the spell that will render Dahlia a mortal and thus easier to kill. She has Rebekah using her newfound witchery to create the illusion that Hope is present, but still takes the opportunity to whine that no one has ever loved her like the other siblings love each other. Later, she finds out that she’s not the witch that Dahlia loved the most, and thus not the key to her demise. Dahlia “sends [Freya] to bed early,” putting her back to sleep for a hundred years.
Meanwhile, Davina has accepted the position of regent of the nine covens, but isn’t having Vincent’s coaching. She doesn’t want to kiss the Elders’ collective butts, and she REALLY doesn’t appreciate when Vincent pitches the idea of her as regent but the Elders basically call her a child. She points out to everyone that she’s young, but she’s gone up against the vampires before, and won. No one can argue with this, and she gets to wear a dramatic gown and choker while speechifying. Here and now, she says, begins the time of the witches.
Klaus has discovered that being daggered hurts. (He says he’s never been daggered before, but this seems wrong.) This does not make him happy.
Rebekah employs Cami to talk to Klaus, telling her that Klaus “fancies her.” (Yikes.) So Cami shows up at the compound and says she trusts Klaus not to hurt her; he responds by biting her. Rebekah, for her part, has been taken out by Marcel, who is under compulsion – which means the spell she had been doing fails, and the Hope illusion literally crumbles to dust. Klaus compel Marcel to keep Rebekah at the compound, and if she resists, end her mortal life. Marcel can’t fight the compulsion, since Klaus bled him of vervain. Rebekah figures out that Klaus wants her to die so that she wakes up in her own body, unable to have her own children. Rebekah bets on the fact that Klaus might want her to suffer, but never to die permanently. So she jabs a screwdriver in her own neck. YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKES.
Elijah gets a compound visitor in the form of Gia, who shows up, wanting to avenge Josephine’s death. Elijah tells her to go away, gives her a smoking-hot kiss, and basically seals her death sentence. Hasn’t he figured out that no one is allowed to be happy on this show? Sure enough, Klaus compels Gia to take off her daylight ring, and Gia goes up in flames. This surely delights the Hayley/Elijah shippers (unless Klaus kills her, too). Klaus puts Papa Tunde’s knife in his chest, and Elijah collapses in agony. Later, Cami (who wasn’t actually harmed by Klaus) pulls the knife out of Elijah and informs him of the new plan. Klaus, apparently, whispered the secret of killing Dahlia in her ear.
Jackson’s grandmother Mary is out in the bayou, burning herbs to see if there’s magic in the air (and there is – Dahlia’s storm extends to the bayou. We should hire her to fix the drought in California). At this, Jackson and Hayley decide that they need to cut and run, leaving the pack to survive. Hayley steps down as queen (whatever this means, in comparison to alpha), but the pack isn’t having it. She doesn’t want others making sacrifices for her, but Jackson is too loyal for that (she’s the family he’s chosen, he explains).
As Hayley and Jackson discuss running to Alaska, Klaus shows up in the bayou to inform the pack that things will not be ending well for them. Hayley and Mary run with Hope, and Jackson tries to sic the pack on Klaus. Jackson, you are so pretty, but so dumb. This really ISN’T going to end well for you.
Hayley decides that Mary should take the baby and go, while she stays behind to fight. Of course, when Dahlia shows up, they discover their plan isn’t exactly foolproof: Dahlia adjusts the Crescent curse so that the pack is only human one night per month.
Baby Hope looks super bored as her grandmother changes into a wolf right in front of her. Baby Hope is probably hoping that the writers will give her father some more character growth, too. Klaus and Dahlia show up at the car, and Dahlia fully expects Klaus to hand the baby over. But Klaus doesn’t want Dahlia to put his daughter to sleep for a century, and suggests that Dahlia link herself to him instead – and when the sleep spell is broken, THEN Dahlia can link herself to the baby.
The Original Mythology
- Hmm, even Dahlia can’t break her own sleep spell without extra power?
The Original Body Count
- Bye Gia.
- Bye, countless innocent parade-goers.
- Guessing that some pack members died, too.
The Original Elegant Uncle Elijah Ruined Suit Count: 6.5
Now that’s what I like to see! Nothing like a magical blade and a surgical removal to ruin a perfectly good suit!
The Original WTF
- Cami has been less annoying in the last 5-6 episodes. This astounds me. Not that I think she’s a good character or a good love match for Klaus (no one is a good love match for Klaus except for a mirror), mind you, but I have noticed that she has been somewhat less reckless and ridiculous.
The Original Joseph Morgan Award For Tortured Hot People
MARCEL: criminally underused this season. That voice! That face. Those eyes. (And that shirt: why are you still wearing it?)
Next episode: SEASON FINALE, AND CLAIRE HOLT IS BACK. I for one welcome our platinum blonde overlord.
Here’s my question to you guys: what would you do? No, it would not be fun to live your life out, placating an immortal paranoid narcissist, but it’s pretty clear that Klaus wants love/devotion/loyalty. There’s got to be a way to placate him, live your own life, and not incur his wrath every ten seconds. Fight smarter, not harder. Right?