Welcome to week forty-six of the Supernatural rewatch project, superfans! If you like to alternately laugh and cry like a maniac, then these are the episodes for you. The show gives, returning to meta-awesomeness bystaging a geeky Supernatural convention attended by Sam and Dean. And then it takes away, killing off two fan favorites. RIP, Jo and Ellen.
Let’s pour one out for the baddest mother-daughter team since…well, ever.
THE OFFICIAL FYA SUPERNATURAL DRINKING GAME:
Take a drink every time:
• There’s a corpse
• A demon possesses/de-possesses and/or makes a deal with some hapless schmuck
• A far-off disaster is mentioned but not shown for budgetary reasons
• Dean crams his face full of junk food
• An angel is snotty
• Anyone is tied up
• Either brother picks a lock
• Someone employs a Titan of Classic Rock as an alias
• The Glorious and Faithful Impala is damaged in the line of duty
5x9: The Real Ghostbusters
Monster of the Week: Ghosts, creepy child edition
The Winchesters rush to respond to a 911 text from Chuck, only to find out it was actually from Becky, who swiped his phone. She’s sorry for the trickery, but she needed them to see it. It, of course, being a Supernatural convention that she and Chuck set up.
Sam and Dean enter a hotel only to be surrounded by other Sams and Deans.
Who’s your favorite? Mine’s the lady playing Bobby.
After a list of panels are announced (including one entitled “Frightened Little Boy: the Secret Life of Dean), Chuck takes questions from audience members who take that as a cue to air their grievances about inconsistencies in the show. Becky doesn’t take it well.
Chuck saves face with a big announcement. He’s found a wealthy investor and is going to start publishing more books in the Supernatural series! Sam and Dean are not amused.
After the discussion is over, Chuck tries to talk to Becky. It’s clear he’s got a crush. But unfortunately for him, she still has (crazy) eyes for Sam.
Can I say once again how much I adore Emily Perkins?
The game portion of the convention takes place, as an actress playing a hotel maid claims to have seen a ghost and launches into a tale of how the hotel used to be an orphanage and is haunted by the ghost of the former matron who slew several of her charges and then herself in a fit of rage.
The real Sam and Dean roll their eyes and go get a drink. But when a cosplaying Sam is attacked by what appear to be real ghosts, they begin their own investigation. It turns out the fake ghost story is actually based on the real history of the hotel. The orphanage matron killed four boys, including her own son.
One of murdered boys appears to another pair of Winchester cosplayers and points them to an old map that shows where the matron is buried. Sam and Dean overhear them discussing it. Dean wants to take it from them at gunpoint, but Sam convinces everyone to work together. The cosplayers agree, but only if they can be Sam and Dean. They assign the real Sam and Dean the roles of Bobby and Rufus. Heh. But when “Rufus” and “Bobby” start digging up an actual grave, the cosplayers freak. Things get worse when the matron’s ghost appears and attacks them! Luckily, real Dean salts and burns the bones just in time to save them.
It should be over. But when they get back to the convention, the hotel’s exits all seal, trapping everyone inside. The ghost of the matron’s son appears, asking why they sent his mommy away. It turns out her ghost was all that was keeping the other ghosts of the evil little boys from hurting people. On cue, the said evil ghosts corner a Hook Man cosplayer in the hall.
I feel you, Hook Man.
Sam and Dean discover the body and herd everyone into the main conference room, discretely salt the doors and tell Chuck to keep them busy while they hunt the ghosts. The hotel manager gets quickly sick of Chuck’s stories and tries to leave, breaking the salt line. Almost immediately a ghost attacks, but Chuck snatches up an iron music stand and sends it fleeing. Becky is intrigued by this display.
Her body is ready.
Meanwhile, using the actress who played the matron in the convention’s game, the boys lure out the ghost children, while their cosplaying dopplegangers manage to escape the hotel. The real Sam and Dean fight the ghosts while the costumed Sam and Dean find and burn the bodies.
After it’s all over, Becky breaks up with Sam, telling him she’s in love with Chuck. Sam gracefully says he’ll have to find a way to keep living.
Brotherly Angst Quotient: Infamous
Dean gets increasingly frustrated with the convention goers, saying he doesn’t understand why they’d want to emulate the Winchesters’ lives.
Doesn’t he just, darlings.
But later, after the Sam/Dean cosplayers help defeat the monsters, Dean thanks them. The Dean cosplayer says he’s wrong about Supernatural. In real life, they work retail jobs. The idea of waking up to save the world with a brother who’d die for you, who wouldn’t want that? Dean realizes they have a point and tells them they don’t make a bad team themselves. He’s right as it turns out. In addition to being Winchester cosplayers, they’re also lovers.
Aw, adorable subtext.
Paradise Lost of It All: After Becky breaks up with Sam so that she can be with Chuck, she gives him a consolation prize: she’s such a close reader of the Supernatural series, that she remembers Bella never actually gave the Colt to Lilith. She gave it to a demon named Crowley. The boys now know where to start looking for the weapon that might kill Lucifer!
How Drunk Are We?: Sociably! Take three drinks for rock aliases and a single corpse.
The Quotable Winchesters: “The way I look at it, it’s really not jumping the shark if you never come back down.” –Chuck the Prophet.
Moment Most Likely to Inspire Troubling Fan-Fic:
I suppose a panel discussion doesn’t technically count as fic, but close enough.
Notable Cameos: None
5x10: Abandon All Hope
Monster of the Week: Lucifer, Meg, hellhounds
Cas manages to find and follow the demon Crowley to his anti-angel warded home. With an assist from Jo, the boys manage to get inside Crowley’s compound. Just as they face Crowley himself, they’re captured by a pair of demons. Crowley shoots both demons. He claims to be on the boys’ side, theorizing that once Lucifer is done killing all humans, he’ll be after demons next. He simply hands them the Colt, extra ammunition, and tells them that Lucifer’s likely to pop up next in Carthage, MO.
That was suspiciously easy.
Wary of Crowley’s intentions, but without a lot of choice, Sam and Dean take the gun and head back to Bobby’s. It’s a party of sorts. Ellen and Cas having a drinking contest! Dean finally notices Jo’s hotness and tries to use the end of the world as a way to get her into bed.
The hardest of hard passes.
Bobby insists they all get a photo together, since they’re probably all going to die tomorrow, and that thought pretty much ends the celebration.
When Sam, Dean, Ellen, Jo, and Cas roll into Carthage, the town seems empty. But Cas says it’s not. Reapers are everywhere.
Saddest street festival ever.
Cas walks off to talk to one Reaper and instead runs into Lucifer, who traps him in a ring of holy fire. Lucifer’s vessel is looking kind of gnarly as he offers to let Cas join his rebellious angel team. Cas says he’d die before helping him.
Meanwhile Ellen, Jo, Sam and Dean run into Meg. Lucifer wants to see them, and she’s brought a bunch of hellhounds to enforce his request. They run! A hound grabs Dean. Jo tries to save him only to be mauled herself! The rest manage to pull her into a hardware store. They quickly turn it into anti-demon safehouse while Jo bleeds out. Ellen tells her she’ll be okay, but by the blood pouring from her abdomen, everyone knows it isn’t true.
Dean contacts Bobby by radio and gives him the news. Ellen tells him about all the reapers and Bobby says he thinks Lucifer’s planning to unleash the horseman Death. He’s picked this town because it as the site of a really bad battle in the civil war. They need to get to it and stop him.
When Sam and Dean argue over the best way to get Jo on her feet, she tells them to be realistic. She’s not going anywhere. But that doesn’t mean she can’t help. She outlines a plan to build a salt/iron suicide bomb so she can hit the hellhounds while the rest escape. Ellen is not trying to hear it, but Jo stops her, saying, “This might be literally your last chance to treat me like an adult. You might want to take it.” Ellen tearfully agrees, and I’m not crying, you’re crying.
They build the bomb and Dean hands Jo the trigger saying he’ll see her on the other side sooner or later.
It’s time to leave. But Ellen says she’s not going anywhere. She’ll never leave her daughter alone. While Sam and Dean escape, Ellen cradles Jo. But just before the moment of truth, Jo dies, leaving Ellen alone.
Can I give Samantha Ferris a retroactive Emmy?
Ellen hugs her dead daughter closer and blows the bomb, killing the hounds.
Sam and Dean escape and find all the missing townspeople lined up on the Civil War battlefield along with Lucifer. Sam distracts Lucifer while Dean shoots him in the head with the Colt!
It doesn’t work.
Lucifer pops up and says there is only five things in Creation that the gun can’t destroy and he’s one of them. He starts the ritual to free Death, his demon-possessed townspeople sacrifices dropping like flies.
Meanwhile, Meg brags to Castiel about how they’re going to win. Cas plants a seed of doubt in her mind, saying Crowley belives Lucifer’s using demons and he’ll kill them all when their purpose is complete. Then he manages to grab her and pull her into the holy circle. When he tries to angel-murder her, he realizes his heavenly power kill demons has been cut off. But he can and does throw her into the holy flames and escapes. On his way out of town, he rescues Sam and Dean just as Lucifer frees Death.
At Bobby’s, everyone takes in the defeat, listening to news reports of terrible storms over Carthage. Bobby throws the photo he took the night before into the fire.
Brotherly Angst Quotient: Parallels
Lucifer tries to win Sam over by pointing out that they’re both little brothers rejected by the older brothers they worshipped for thinking for themselves. Sam holds out for now, but some of Lucifer’s words look like they hit home.
Paradise Lost of It All: Thanks to the Colt’s failure, Lucifer’s got himself another horseman on the loose.
How Drunk Are We?: Clinically dead. The number of demon-possessed corpses alone made counting too difficult, so I’m just going to give the okay to chug the whole bottle/keg.
The Quotable Winchesters: “Number one, he's gonna wipe us all out anyway, two, after you leave here I go on an extended vacation to all points nowhere, and three, HOW ABOUT YOU DON'T MISS, OKAY? MORONS!” –Crowley, on what will happen if Dean fails to shoot Lucifer.
Moment Most Likely to Inspire Troubling Fan-Fic:
SOMEONE WRITE FIC WHERE THIS ALL ENDED BETTER, PLS
Mark Sheppard of basically everything (Warehouse 13, White Collar, Leverage, Battlestar Galatica to name a few) plays Crowley.
Next Week: Sam goes all Freaky Friday with an unfortunate teen