We’ve made it to week fifty-two and the end of Season 5, darlings. It’s a notable moment. Eric Kripke (the show’s creator), originally had a five season-arc in mind when he conceived of Supernatural, and he ceased being the showrunner at the end of these episodes. Some look at these episodes as the “true” ending of Sam and Dean. Others are just glad to see Padalecki, Ackles, and Collins’s pretty faces on the reg. What say you, darlings? Should CW have let a good thing go, or do the later seasons still light up your life? Let us know in the comments!
Grab some liquor and make sure it’s jumbo-sized.
THE OFFICIAL FYA SUPERNATURAL DRINKING GAME:
Take a drink every time:
• There’s a corpse
• A demon possesses/de-possesses and/or makes a deal with some hapless schmuck
• A far-off disaster is mentioned but not shown for budgetary reasons
• Dean crams his face full of junk food
• An angel is snotty
• Anyone is tied up
• Either brother picks a lock
• Someone employs a Titan of Classic Rock as an alias
• The Glorious and Faithful Impala is damaged in the line of duty
5x21: Two Minutes to Midnight
Monster of the Week: Pestilence/Death
Posing as a nursing home doctor, Pestilence visits a patient. On the plus side, he has a good bedside manner. Downside? He gives her more and more diseases until she finally expires, in a slimy green mess.
You can’t do that on television!
At Bobby’s, Dean gets a call from Castiel who has just woken up in a hospital for the first time since the whole Adam rescue went south. Cas says his power seems to have fled, and worse, he’s having aches and pains like a regular human. Also, he needs them to wire him some money. Dean tells Bobby to get on that while he and Sam head out to Pestilence’s nursing home.
Once there, the boys judo chop the nursing home security guard and stake out the building’s cameras. Finally, they catch Pestilence as a blur on the screen. But before they can reach him, a demon nurse senses their presence and warns the horseman to get out of there. But he’d rather have a little revenge for the slaying of his brothers. He twists his ring and suddenly everyone in the hospital starts coming over in spewing illness! Dean and Sam collapse at his feet.
How many times has Sam been given magical STDs now?
In the middle of Pestilence’s villain monologue about how simple and pure disease is and how messy and weak are, Castiel bursts into the room! When asked how he got there?
This is also how I look/feel after too much MUNI.
Cas’s heroic rescue is nearly cut short when he starts feeling sick too. Pestilence says there doesn’t appear to be a speck of angel left in him. Cas rallies and cuts off his ring finger, saying, “maybe just a speck.” Human Cas makes quips? I love him already.
As Dean grabs the ring, Pestilence says “it doesn’t matter, it’s too late,” right before he pops on out of there.
Bobby tells them all that a storm is coming to Chicago that will set off a chain of natural disasters that will result in three million deaths. But the good news is that means Death will definitely be there.
We get a glimpse of Death walking through Chicago. A rude man shoulder checks Death, berating him as he barrels past. Death gently brushes his own shoulder and the man drops dead on the street.
Evil, but also kind of baller, right?
Meanwhile, the boys want to know how Bobby put his information together. Crowley pops up like clockwork and makes Bobby tell them how he sold his soul. This makes the Winchesters stabby, but Crowley promises he’ll give Bobby’s soul back once the apocalypse is over and they let him walk safely away. Crowley further informs them about the swine flu vaccination full of Croatoan virus that’s ready to ship. The brothers have to split up to take on the simultaneous threats. Dean tells Sam good luck on stopping the zombie apocalypse. Sam wishes Dean good luck in killing Death. They pause for a moment, relishing the ridiculousness of it all.
Me neither, darling.
Crowley gives Dean Death’s own scythe, rumored to be able to kill him. Then, apparently going for demon of the year, he gives Bobby back the ability to walk!
Cas, Sam and Bobby invade the vaccine production plant. All of the workers have been infected with Croatoan. They shoot them all. Sam hears a woman crying for help and runs, managing to save a bunch of people under duress.
Meanwhile, Dean and Crowley find Death eating alone in a Chicago pizzeria, surrounded by corpses. Dean goes in alone to face him. Almost immediately, the scythe heats up in his hand, scalding him. He drops it. Death pops it over to his table, thanking Dean for returning it, and invites him to have a slice. Dean asks if he plans to kill him. Death seems amused, saying, “This is one little planet in one tiny solar system in a galaxy that's barely out of its diapers. I'm old, Dean. Very old. So I invite you to contemplate how insignificant I find you.”
Death gives good snark.
Not knowing what else to do, Dean eats the pizza. Death confides in him, saying Lucifer has him bound and is forcing him to do his bidding. It’s infuriating and he would very much like to see Dean succeed in trapping him back in his cage. To that end, he’s willing to hand over his ring provided Dean is willing to do anything it takes to accomplish his goal, even letting Sam throw himself in the cage too. Dean agrees. Death tells him he better be sure.
I think he kind of already did in Season 4, buddy.
Brotherly Angst Quotient: The man with the plan
Dean does not like Sam’s plan to say yes to the devil and then throw himself in the cage. Sam agrees. He’s too weak to take on Lucifer. But he doesn’t know what else to do. Cas is of a different opinion, saying the plan is as good as any he’s heard. But he warns Sam that Michael is wearing Adam, and also that once he’s Lucifer’s vessel, he’ll be forced to drink more demon blood than he ever has before.
Later, Dean confides to Bobby about how he lied to Death about accepting Sam’s decision. But Bobby has come around to Sam’s side. He watched him save so many people at the vaccine factory and he thinks there is enough goodness in Sam that he’ll be able to beat the devil or at least die trying. He tells Dean he needs to think about whether he’s afraid of losing the fight or losing his brother.
Indeed, darlings. The end of the world is not a time to be selfish.
Paradise Lost of It All: Death tells Dean how to put the rings together to make the cage key. The boys have everything they need to take down Lucifer. All that remains is to do it!
How Drunk Are We?: So drunk I lost count of corpses at 15. I think that means you have to chug the rest of whatever you have on hand.
The Quotable Winchesters: “You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man that I believed you to be.” –Cas, sincerely apologizing to Dean.
Moment Most Likely to Inspire Troubling Fan-Fic: When the boys hear Bobby sold his soul to Crowley, Sam immediately voices the question on all our of minds. Did he kiss him? “No!” Bobby sputters. But Crowley’s got evidence.
And lo, a thousand Bobby/Crowley fans were born.
Longtime character actor Julian Richings plays Death
5x22: Swan Song
Monster of the Week: Lucifer
The episode is interspersed with Chuck the Prophet narrating the history of the Winchesters through an examination of the Glorious and Faithful Impala, from the moment it rolled off a production line, to Sam and Dean riding in it as children, shoving Legos and Army men into the cracks to Dean preserving these flaws when he rebuilt it after season 1, to how they would sit on its hood, watching the stars for hours. They may have been drifters, but thanks to the Impala, they were never homeless.
Lil’ Sammy making his mark.
The quick flashbacks almost feel like Super 8 memory reconstruction and it offers a softer view of their life, showing it wasn’t just all horror all the time.
Back to the horror, tho. Bobby, Cas, Dean and Sam kill demon after demon, collecting the blood in milk jugs. When they have enough, the drive to Detroit to put Sam’s plan into action. But before they arrive, Sam tells Dean that if his plan works, he doesn’t want him poking at the cage, trying to resurrect him. It’s too risky. He makes Dean promise he’ll go find Lisa and live a normal, happy life. Bobby and Cas say their heartfelt goodbyes to Sam. He sheepishly asks them not to look as he guzzles down the demon blood he’s hoping will give him the strength to fight Lucifer.
It’s time. Dean and Sam head out to the tenement hotel where Lucifer’s staying and call him out. Demons bring them before him. Sam uses his powers to kill all of Lucifer’s back up. Then he tries to con the devil, saying he’s going to agree to be his vessel to cut a deal for his family. Lucifer knows he’s lying. He doesn’t care. He’s willing to let Sam to throw him in the cage—if he can.
Sam says yes. Bright light fills the room and Dean uses the ring, opening the cage. Sam wakes and Dean helps him to the threshold. But he won’t cross it, turning and laughing. “I was just messing with you. Sam’s long gone,” Lucifer says. He pockets the rings, pausing to give Dean the world’s worst I-told-you-so before popping on out of there.
Cas and Dean watch a news show full of disaster reports. Cas suggests they go get drunk. Bobby’s also given up. But Dean won’t. His new mission is to find the field of battle where Lucifer will face Michael. He calls up Chuck who gives him the location—a cemetery in Lawrence, KS. Cas tries to talk him out of going, saying the only thing he’ll be able to do is watch Michael kill his brother. Dean’s response?
I might have actually cried a little.
Meanwhile, Lucifer tells Sam he can feel him scratching away in there. He looks into a mirror and Sam’s looking back, and telling Lucifer he plans on ripping him apart from the inside out.
Gabriel was right. He really is a giant bag of dicks.
Lucifer insists he’s not the bad guy. They’re two halves made whole. He refers to the Winchesters as “foster care,” while he’s Sam’s real family. He’s even got a present for him. He brings forth some familiar faces—Sam’s teacher, a friend, a prom date—and tells him they were all part of Azazel’s gang, plants to spy on him and shape his choices even from an early age. A quick cut shows all the demons dead and Sam bloody. Lucifer asks if he’s having fun yet.
Just before Lucifer and Michael begin their battle, Dean shows, saying he’s there to talk to Sam. Michael tells him to get off the field. But before he can make him, Cas shows up!
My new insult of choice.
He hits Lucifer with a holy fire Molotov cocktail, stalling him so Dean can get a chance to talk. Lucifer is not happy about it.
Lucifer attacks Dean! Bobby shoots at him, but with a flick of his hand, Lucifer snaps Bobby’s neck!
Dean continues to try to talk to Sam even as Lucifer is pummeling him. He tells Sam he’s not going to leave him. Lucifer rears back for the death blow, but something catches his eye. The army man Lil Sammy had shoved in the Impala’s ashtray all those years ago. Sam’s overcome by a barrage of memories and manages to regain control of his body. He looks at his broken brother and tells him it’s going to be okay. Then he tosses out the rings, opens the cage. Michael zaps back to the cemetery, saying he won’t let it end this way. Sam falls backwards into the cage, taking the archangel with him. Dean’s left alone.
At least until Castiel reappears, his angelic powers back intact. He heals Dean’s face and then brings Bobby back to life.
Later, Cas says he plans on returning to Heaven to restore order after Michael’s departure. Dean says he’s coming for God next. He got nothing out of this but his brother in a hole. Cas says he got exactly what he prayed for and asks would he rather have peace or freedom. Then he disappears. Bobby’s goodbye is shorter. Dean shows up on Lisa’s doorstep, asking if it’s not too late to take her up on her offer of a beer. She welcomes him inside with open arms.
Endings are hard, Chuck narrates. But nothing ever ends, does it? As Dean sits down to dinner with Lisa and Ben, a streetlight fizzles out. Standing underneath? Sam, watching his brother through the window.
Brotherly Angst Quotient: EVERYTHING, darlings.
In the beginning of the episode, Dean tells Sam he’s on board with his plan. It goes against every fiber of his being because he’s taken the role of Sam’s protector as his identity. Still, if he’s ever going to be more than that, he needs to let Sam grow up make his own decisions. Sam assures him it’s his choice; he let Lucifer out of his cage and it’s his job to put him back in.
It’s a quiet moment in an episode of so many loud emotional beats, but one that shows a lot of growth from where the characters started, Sam refusing responsibility and Dean not recognizing his brother’s value.
Paradise Lost of It All: Lucifer’s back in his cage and Michael’s there to keep him company.
How Drunk Are We?: Crying into our cups. Take twelve drinks for corpses dropped and far-off disasters mentioned.
The Quotable Winchesters: “So what's it all add up to? It's hard to say. But me, I'd say this was a test... for Sam and Dean. And I think they did all right. Up against, Good, Evil, angels, devils, Destiny, and God himself, they made their own choice. They chose family. And, well... isn't that kinda the whole point? No doubt - endings are hard. But then again... nothing ever really ends, does it?” –The Prophet Chuck in a beautiful epilogue right before he’s Raptured up to Heaven.
Moment Most Likely to Inspire Troubling Fan-Fic:
Lucifer’s condescending concern might inspire someone to fic. I know it certainly makes me want to tell him to go f**k himself.
Notable Cameos: None
Week Year: The Supernatural rewatch project is taking a little holiday hiatus, darlings. We’ll be back ready to bring you all the assorted delights of season six in 2016.