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iZombie 2x12: Physician, Heal Thy Selfie

How to tell if your boss is a zombie? 40 varieties of hot sauce, and three heads in the fridge is a tip-off.

iZombie 2x12: Physician, Heal Thy Selfie

Previously, on iZombie: Vaughn Du Clark turned Major into the Chaos Killer. Peyton slept with her star witness in the Boss case, Blaine, and Liv slept with hot zombie Drake.

If I livetweeted this episode, am I part of the problem?

Grey Matters

Liv worries she doesn’t know very much about Drake, and discovers she’s correct after some online sleuthing reveals his time in prison.

Peyton’s boss, District Attorney Baracus, goes missing, courtesy of a copycat Chaos Killer. Vaughn Du Clark calls Major in for an explanation about why the D.A. (who Major previously claimed was not a zombie) has been taken out by a copycat killer. After Vaughn makes threats against Liv again, and some internet randoms, Major is forced to talk D.A. Baracus into faking his death and going into zombie cold storage.

The mayor convinces Peyton not to resign (which she wanted to do over the whole Blaine incident), since they still have to take down Mr. Boss.

Brain Melt

Peyton and Liv confronting Blaine? YIKES. I actually felt bad for the guy. Why I can’t I quit you, Anders?

Does Liv know that Drake also works for Mr. Boss? It doesn’t look like it!

Max Rager kills their internet trolls! Whatever you do, I’d reconsider what kind of urine you compare your energy drinks to.

The Brain

Three decapitated victims wash up on the shore of Lake Washington, so Liv has to eat a social media addict from the morgue drawers just to keep her strength up enough to help Clive figure it out. The millennial brain has her selfie-posing and hashtagging the hell out of life, annoying friends and coworkers alike.

The Real Monster

Liv and Clive interview Mr. Boss regarding his washed up decapitated goons. He pretends to not know the men, but clearly didn’t know they’d been decapitated. It turns out that his goons were sent to kill Baracus, and got beheaded by the zombie D.A. in self-defense. Liv and Clive find the missing heads in Baracus’ lake cabin fridge, and Liv tries help the missing man stay hidden.

Winners and Chewsers

Winner: Ravi. Yes, he spent every day hungover, but he also proved to be the very best friend an ex-girlfriend could have. ARGH, HE’S JUST SO GREAT.

Loser: Blaine. He gets dumped by Peyton, and runs into his scary former employer, Mr. Boss. Mr. Boss will be billing him for the $80k he owes (in missing product, plus some STEEP interest). That’s enough to take the swagger right out of even this guy.

Words With a Bite

“Before you moved in, I just assumed you were a fembot that plugged into a charging station at night.” - Ravi

“Looks like a no-brainer to me, Liv.” - Ravi

“Hello, Liv. You know my guest. He’s the man who made you what you are today.” - Peyton

“I’m sure that your Tinder photo is hair-centric and flattering. But how do you spin that bio? I’m a humble guy, always down for a hike. Or, we could just murder and chill?” - Liv

“153 people watched you unpack a box. How? Why?” - Ravi

Picking Your Brain

- Peyton drinking Ravi under the table at home, and she has quite the bar setup in her office. Should we be concerned about her?

- Drake with his mom? OMG. Who’s the cutest baby zombie?

- Who has time to make sushi rolls at work? But if you did, you would totally Instagram it, right?

Join me in the comments, where I may or may not be inventing more rules for the Zombie High drinking game!

Next episode: "The Whopper"



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Kandis Seaver's photo About the Author: Kandis read adult fiction as a teenager and now makes up for it by reading all the YA she can get her hands on. (The swoonier, the better!) She lives in Austin, where she enjoys Wonder Woman collectibles, livetweeting everything, and cocktails with her FYA book club pals. She has never stopped watching Veronica Mars.