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Title: The Vampire Diaries S8.E07 “The Next Time I Hurt Somebody, It Could Be You”
Released: 2016

Previously: Cade agreed to take Damon and Stefan as servants instead of the twins, Alaric and Matt tried to kill Damon, and Bonnie and Enzo are all LOVED UP.


What Went Down

Stefan is determined to make his last day as a non-minion to the devil – which just so happens to be Christmas Eve – as memorable as possible. He taps into his inner Martha Stewart AND his inner elf and busts out QUITE the holiday spread. That Christmas tree made my heart SPARKLE. Everything is going swimmingly until – ding dong! – Damon arrives with Sybil on his arm. Ugh. Alaric arrives with the girls and is like, Didn’t I kill you? Sorry, but if you’ve sold your soul to the devil, you can’t be killed.

Damon lures Stefan to the attic with promises of festive sibling ornament gathering only to temporarily kill him with the Salvatore Family tree-topper. Stefan is taken just beyond the veil where he’s greeted by Cade, who takes him a journey back to Monterey, CA in 1917. Stefan doesn’t remember obliterating an entire camp full of people on Christmas Eve 1917 because Siren Selene, who was sent to garner his soul for Cade, took pity on him and erased that memory. Merry Christmas, Stefan: here are more innocent people to add to your murder list. Stefan agrees to give Cade one full year of Ripper Stefan in exchange for an eternity of Basic Stefan. That was a Groupon that the devil himself couldn’t refuse.

Bonnie and Enzo are on a covert mission to get the Mystical Tuning Fork. Caroline Forbes is a natural at making people believe that she likes them, and manages to get Sybil to tell her where she’s living these days. Turns out that Selene is living there too (along with the poor family she’s compelled to wear holiday sweaters and sing carols), and she wants nothing more than to un-link herself from the twins, psychically. Bonnie and Enzo agree to call Alaric and get him onboard if she gives them the fork. He agrees, and it’s actually quite sad when Selene says her goodbyes to the twins, removing all memories of her from their minds. 

Dinner! How could I forget about dinner? I want the Salvatore family recipe for au gratin potatoes, please. Damon announces that he’s going to kill someone for Cade, but just WHO among them is the worst? He’s convinced it’s Papa Donovan. He holds a carving knife to his throat, waiting for him to confess WHY he left his wife and kids. Turns out he was just ashamed of being poor. Damon, that was super shitty to do to Matt on Christmas. Sybil is still convinced that Papa Donovan has something she wants, and he honestly has no idea what she’s talking about. Bonnie, Enzo, and the Mystical Tuning Fork arrive just in time to get Sybil out of his head, and Damon, the good little minion that he is, whisks Sybil away to safety while Bonnie is hunched over in pain. Looks like that fork doesn’t just hurt sirens.

While strolling downtown Damon finally opens up his gift from Caroline – Elena’s necklace. Remember Elena, Damon? I think the answer is “yes”, since when Sybil goes in for a kiss he rips out her heart and leaves her on a park bench. 

Damon’s next move? Not too sure, but he picks up Stefan on his way out of Mystic Falls and encourages him to turn off his humanity. He’s baaaaaack!

Holy CRAP

  • Stefan’s holiday decorating skills are UNMATCHED.

  • Damon ripped out Sybil’s heart and left it right next to her on a park bench like it was her purse.

  • Enzo is taking Bonnie to Paris for Christmas. Awww. That’s sweet that you think you’ll ever escape Mystic Falls, Boo.

Vamp of the Week: Stefan Salvatore

Chef, decorator, hanger-of-mistletoe, under-the-mistletoe-smoocher, devoted almost-stepdad, and constantly-put-upon younger brother. Stefan Salvatore was everything to everyone this week. Unfortunately, this includes Cade.

Hero Hair/Nefarious Grin

Hero Hair: Caroline had to say goodbye to the love of her life AND her children. ON CHRISTMAS EVE. And she did it all while being a flawless (and slightly devious) hostess. 

Honorary Hair Pomade: No one should have to realize they’re a better man than their own father. Matt Donovan needs a hug.

Nefarious Grin: I don’t even know what’s motivating Damon at this point, other than being the biggest pain in the ass possible. Also, the devil.

Sound Bites

Damon: Merry Christmas, Ric.
Alaric: I killed you.
Caroline: WHAT?
Alaric: He deserved it.

Damon: I see you decided to join us. I was just asking Peter what’s the worst thing he’s ever done.
Alaric: Well, mine was not making sure you were permanently dead.

Well, Damon’s alive, as you can see. Bonnie and Enzo are late and Stefan’s dead. Merry Christmas. I’ve got gifts. – Caroline 

Damon: They buried me, Stefan, in a shallow grave. Not even in the family plot.
Stefan: Well, it’s hard to be sympathetic about your death when you’re standing right in front of me.

Burning Questions

  • We know Sybil isn’t gone, so what’s next? How long before one siren kills the other out of pure spite?

  • Will Caroline ever stop losing the people she loves the most?

  • Could the Mystical Tuning Fork be a clue as to how Bonnie can get her magic back?

  • Does Jeremy just NOT come home for Christmas anymore? (JK IDC)

Well that’s it until 2017! I’ll be back on January 14th with your next recap, so have a wonderful holiday season full of friends, family, and food! Oh, and come speculate with me in the comments!


About the Contributor:

Amanda Reid is an East Coast girl living in California who will never stop missing a true autumn. She’s a bookseller who specializes in kid and teen lit, and she bakes a damn fine pie.

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This post was written by a guest writer or former contributor for Forever Young Adult.