Hey all! Amanda R. here, and I'm SO stoked to be recapping this show with Meredith for y'all! HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE THIS SHOW?
Previously on Riverdale: We meet the teen residents of Riverdale: newly-hot boy-next-door Archie, everyone's friend, Betty, new girl in town, Veronica, our aloof burger-loving narrator, Jughead, the possibly sociopathic Blossom twins, Jason and Cheryl, and the baddest girl band on the planet, Josie and the Pussycats.
Riverdale is stunned when Jason Blossom's body is found washed up on the shores of Sweetwater River with a bullet in his head. Looks like accidental drowning is no longer a suspected cause of death! Betty is devastated that Archie doesn't return her romantic feelings (give it time, girl). Archie realizes that the sound he and Ms. Grundy heard during their 4th of July slumber party was most likely Jason being shot, Jughead and Archie don't seem to be besties anymore, and Moose has pants feelings for Kevin.
Archie is having trouble sleeping, the guilt of not telling the police what he knows about the morning of Jason's murder leaving him a shirtless, sweaty mess, so he goes for a jog to become even sweatier. This show certainly knows its demographic.
Betty is trying her best to get over Archie's rejection, especially since her crazy mother is telling her to cut Archie out of her life for good. I'm so relieved that Betty knows better than to take her mother's TERRIBLE advice. All it takes is one song at the lunch table and poor Betty realizes she's not ready to shift gears back to BFFs with Archie just yet.
I aspire to Betty's cardigan game, y'all.
Veronica is trying her best to patch up her fledgling friendship with Betty (flowers, cupcakes AND mani-pedis), and Betty forgives her, thinking that Veronica will just fade out in the next couple of weeks. Not so! Veronica feels a connection with Betty, like they're meant to be friends (we've all been there), and I honestly can't imagine this show without their friendship at the center. During cheerleading practice (Go Vixens!) Veronica is definitely feeling a chill from Betty's direction and drops some much-needed truth:
A true friend gives you the hard truths. #TeamBeronica
Cheryl Blossom is determined to make this pep rally in memory of her brother one to remember, and enlists the talents of Josie and the Pussycats, whose rendition of Sugar, Sugar by The Archies made me smile like an unabashed doofus. Cheryl has been keeping ALL of her grief locked up tight, and it's the sight of Archie running out on the field that finally cracks her shell. She runs off stage and into the locker room. Veronica comforts her, and when Betty sees this she realizes that Veronica is pretty damn great afterall.
I'm so here for all of the girls-supporting-girls going on!
Which brings us to Jughead. I mean, if you aren't already putting together your Jughead cosplay for Halloween, I'm not sure that your priorities are in order. Jughead is the actual best. No, make that The Actual Best. When he sees Ms. Grundy all up on Archie in the music room (gross), he talks to him about it even though their friendship is currently a bit rocky. And he's not even trying to hear Archie's excuses about why he's not going to the cops with what he knows about Jason's murder. He has Grundy's number (AS DO I, JUGGIE), and it says a lot about the amount of respect Archie must have for his pal when he finally decides to go to Mr. Weatherbee.
Fred Andrews continues to be the Best Dad in Riverdale, giving Archie much-needed fatherly advice. Alice Cooper (LOL rly?) is as unstable as ever; she won't let Betty visit her sister in "the group home" (pretty sure she's in an asylum) and she slips the coroner some cash so that she can get upfront and personal with Jason Blossom's corpse. I know you're a journalist, Alice, but gross.
Ms. Grundy needs to quietly quit her job, leave Riverdale, and date a man her own age. No shocker that she's still trying to keep Archie from going to Mr. Weatherbee (who is a bit intense in a Giles from Buffy kind of way, don't you think?).
Everyone is still a suspect! Especially now that we know that Jason didn't die until a week later. So now even those who weren't around at the time of the shooting ARE POSSIBLE SUSPECTS, including Archie, Ms. Grundy, Veronica, Hermione Lodge, etc. TRUST NO ONE.
But then there was this little tidbit of information that Cheryl leaked while sobbing in the locker room:
At least this now explains WHY the twins were at the lake in the first place. Please, please, PLEASE do not let there be any Flowers in the Attic reveals on this show. Whatever elaborate prank Jason and Cheryl were up to, it backfired terribly.
At the Chock'lit Shoppe
It's no coincidence that the hardest conversations and friendship rekindlings happen here. The visual of Betty and Veronica toasting to never let boys ruin their friendship (over vanilla and chocolate milkshakes, respectively) was PERFECT.
We also find out that Hermione Lodge is channeling her best Mildred Pierce while waiting tables at Pop's. WERK. And she's definitely Team Varchie. Honestly, the sexualities of the characters on this show are so delightfully fluid that I'm not even going to bother shipping anyone just yet, except Jughead as my misanthropic burger-loving cohort in crime, obvs.
When the ears are on, no other outfit has a chance:
Cheryl taking up Betty on a mani-pedi invite only to accuse her family of murdering Jason. And in Betty's OWN BEDROOM. WITH ADDED SEXUAL TENSION. What was even more shocking was Betty's VERY REAL threat to Cheryl in return. DAMN, what went down between Polly and Jason??
“My room's pink too, you should come over and see it sometime.” *BLINK*
Best Pop Culture Reference
This nod to Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa (who also directed The Addams Family) was pretty great:
The Smiles We've All Been Waiting For
We’re not gonna hug in front of this whole town. So why don’t we both just do that bro thing where we nod like douches and mutually suppress our emotions?
*burger emoji + football emoji = heart-eyes emoji"
A Fine Line
Look out, Veronica, because Jughead Jones is here with all of the barbed quips and witty repartee, HOWEVER I have to give this episode to Kevin Keller:
Moose: So, Saturday night...
Kevin: Listen Moose, you're hot. Yes. My type? Definitely. But you've got more demons than The Exorcist. We are all on the spectrum but my gay-o-meter says you should stick with what you know best...girls.
When you can't help but be a bit extra because you know the crowd LOVES IT:
Welcome To Twin Peaks
Just a reminder that this isn't your mom's Riverdale:
To someone on the outside peering in, it would have looked like there were four people in that booth. But I was there, and I can tell you. Really, there were only three. A blonde girl, a raven-haired girl, and the luckiest red-headed boy in the universe. For one shiny moment we were just kids. Those bright neon lights of Pop’s keeping the darkness at bay. Giving way, as all nights must, to a morning of reckonings.
That morning included the revelation that Jason wasn't shot until a week AFTER the 4th of July and Cheryl Blossom's subsequent arrest.
Is it possible that Polly murdered Jason Blossom? Or what about Ms. Grundy? She definitely had motive!
Did anyone else get a total Friday Night Lights vibe from the music they played over the football game? <3 <3 <3
Will Moose tell Midge that he's interested in boys?
Does anyone else feel like they're playing Sexual Orientation Bingo while watching this show? I LOVE IT. LAUNCH ALL OF THE SHIPS!
Why is Alice Cooper so terrible?
Well that's it for me! Meredith will be back next week to recap Chapter Three, but let's get our talk on below!