Previously on The Vampire Diaries: Stefan proposed to Caroline, The Devil is dead, and Katherine Pierce is visiting Mystic Falls on her Straight Outta' Hell comeback tour.
What Went Down
Our gang is freaking out once they figure out that Katherine is back, and so they devise a plan to smoke her out to get the upper hand. Did you laugh out loud at this presumption? I know I did. Damon decides that the best way to do that is to flaunt Stefan's love for Caroline in Katherine's face, so this wedding is HAPPENING, people! This wedding is giving everyone all kinds of feelings; Bonnie wants to be happy for Caroline, but can't forgive Stefan for killing Enzo. Caroline is sad because neither one of her besties will be at the wedding, and her mother won't be there to walk her down the aisle. Alaric is mourning because he's lost so many loves, including Caroline, but he still wants Caroline to be happy. It was a MAELSTROM of emotion, y'all!
Did I forget to mention that KELLY DONOVAN is back? Ugh. Just when I thought Matt's dad wasn't as dumb as a box of hair he brings her sorry ass back to Mystic Falls. She's all "Let's live in the present! Family is so important!", and my eyebrow is instantly ARCHED. See, there was a tall, long-haired woman in spike-heeled boots seen the night before killing some poor sod who was just waitin' on his Uber - and it WASN'T Katherine Pierce. Kelly is back for a reason, and it's not for reconciliation.
But I digress. Damon takes Stefan out for drinks in Katherine's crypt, killing two birds with one stone: getting Stefan wasted the night before his wedding, AND getting bones from Katherine's skeleton in order to fashion a dagger similar to Cade's so that they can kill her. They arrive back at Chez Salvatore, Stefan in dire need of a large glass of water, Tylenol, and sleep. Caroline finds a gift that she presumes is from Stefan BUT YOU KNOW IT'S FROM KATERINA PETROVA. She's so deliciously shady.
Bonnie is spending time with Enzo in his psychic dimension, and he's trying to convince her that she MUST still have magic somewhere inside of her if she was able to create this dimension and stay tethered to him. Then there's her severe reaction to the bell being rung, but we'll come back to that in a second because WEDDING!
The wedding goes off without a hitch! Well, except that Kelly took a huge bite out of Matt's dad before the ceremony. She excuses herself early because she starts to cough up black blood (because she's been dead and in hell for the past two years), and Matt follows her. She cleans herself up enough to pretty much ruin the toast at Stefan and Caroline's reception. She blames Mystic Falls for all of her unhappiness, and informs them that Katherine is back and plans on destroying the entire town. Oh, and she's triggered a gas explosion back at the house (I think it's the Lockwood House but I can't entirely tell?). Caroline rushes out to get to Bonnie, Josie, and Lizzie, but the house goes up in flames. Thankfully, the twins are able to siphon Bonnie's magic and form a protective spell around them so that they can get out alive
Kelly crows that the explosion was just a distraction so that VICKY could get to the bell, ringing it for the 12th and final time. Bonnie collapses, nose bleeding, and I don't even know what to do with myself.
Kelly Donovan DIED and no one notified her next of kin who has lived in the same town his entire life? Oh....ok. And was she really SO bad that she would've gone to hell??
Alaric's face as he sees Caroline with her bridal tiara - ALL THE TEARS. He was so stoic and heartbroken.
That wedding was STUNNING. Damon must've compelled Martha Stewart.
And Bonnie's dress...! SO HOT.
Valerie (remember her?) did a protection spell for the twins. Aww. I hope that Valerie is happy, wherever she is.
Vamp of the Week: Damon Salvatore
Not only did he make sure that his brother had the most impromptu (and hilarious) bachelor's party of all time (who needs pole dancing when you have bourbon and skeletons?) but he also gave Caroline the chance to mourn her mother's absence on her wedding day while welcoming her to the family. It was a really sweet moment for two of our friends who have rarely shared one before now.
Hero Hair/Nefarious Grin
Hero Hair: Bonnie and Enzo both win this week's award. Enzo saved Bonnie from a life of hating Stefan, and Bonnie saved Josie and Lizzie, while also being the BEST friend of all time to Caroline on her wedding day.
Nefarious Grin: Matt Donovan deserves so much more than this flaming garbage pile of a mother.
Matt: "Would putting the bone in a metal dagger do the trick? My parents are in town. I could ask my dad for help."
Caroline: "Parents plural?"
Matt: "Unexpected family reunion, so now I've got two nightmares to deal with."
Damon: "Gossip later, townies."
"Look, what happened to Enzo is going to haunt you and her for the rest of your lives. But the 'you' standing with me right now, the 'you' that's going to marry Caroline Forbes tomorrow, the 'you' that I have known for almost 200 years, you didn't do it. Evil, nasty Ripper Stefan did it. And you are not him." - Damon to Stefan
"To a Mystic Falls mom who started out by hating me and became one of my closest friends. She was strong. She was loving. And not only did she protect this town, but she raised an incredible daughter that I now get to call family. To Liz Forbes, gone but never forgotten." - Damon's practice toast
Damon: "So, I remember when you gave me this at Christmas. You said it was for 'future me,' a guy who'd one day ask for your forgiveness."
Caroline: "Is this you asking?"
Damon: "Let's save that for another Salvatore-bonding night, why don't we? I just wanted you to know that Elena will be with you tomorrow."
"We've all made terrible mistakes in our lives, done things that no apology can heal. But you just have to keep going, trying to find some new happiness, no matter how much you've lost. The strange thing is losing those people is what brought us together. It's how we found each other. It's what made us family." - Alaric to Dorian
"Caroline, you've been my friend, my conscience, my sounding board. You saw light in me when all I saw was darkness. You saved me from despair. You told me once that I would fall madly in love without realizing it, and that's what happened. Day by day, bit by bit, year by year, with you." - Stefan's vows
"I remember how you told me that when I was ready for you, you would be ready for me. I'm ready now. I think a part of me has been ready for this day since the moment I first saw you, the new mystery guy in the hallway at school. I will always remember this moment. A hundred years from now, I will remember this moment for the both of us." - Caroline's vows
We know that Elena is back. But is Bonnie...dead? I can't believe that the writers would do that to us, or to Bonnie. And is it possible to bring Enzo back?
Who's going to be the one to put the dagger in Katherine this time around?
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WHEN OUR SHOW IS OVER?
I AM NOT READY
Next time on The Vampire Diaries: LAST EPISODE EVER!
Who else plans on a complete rewatch at some point? Did anyone else keep calling Kelly, "Julie Donovan"? She plays terrible parents so well. Let's convo for the second to the last time about our show!!