Previously on Famous In Love, Paige Townsen gets cast in Locked and consequently thrust into D-R-A-M-A, starring Rainer Devon, the hot superstar wronged by his ex, Tangey Turner, who slept with Jordan Wilder, who is in turn sleeping with Rainer's mom, Nina. GOOD TIMES.
The Elevator Pitch (i.e. what happened this week)
As Paige starts to comprehend her fame trajectory, everyone else scrambles for a piece of the pie. Tangey's mom secures her the title song on the soundtrack, while Alexis gets the part of Autumn's (Paige's character) sister, alongside a blast from the past, Rachel. The head of the studio gets fired and replaced by some dude (sorry, didn't catch his name) who hates Nina, but the biggest threat seems to be Paige's father, who wants her to GET SERIOUS about school even though she'll make a TON OF MONEY in this movie. Obviously Dear Old Dad doesn't understand how college debt works.
Tangey is still pissed at Rainer, and Jordan is still hooking up with Nina, and Jake tells Paige he inexplicably just wants to be friends, and I cannot wait to get past this shizz, most especially because Cassie is apparently a topless maid for a pervy rich dude.
And the Oscar Goes To... (i.e. MVP of the week)
I created this category because I figured there would be at least one character rocking an episode but this week left me with NADA. Better luck next time, y'all.
Can I Quote You On That? (i.e. best/worst lines from the episode)
"Either you eat, sleep and breathe Locked, or you spend the rest of your life doing math in a poly-blend sweater set." - Nina, being super Hollywood to Paige.
"It's so much! It's too much! It's too much for me to handle!" - Paige, telling us that THE STRUGGLE IS REAL.
"I tried therapy." - Alexis
"Yeah? How many times did you go?" - Rachel
"Twice." - Alexis, making me reconsider the MVP award
"Why do we hate her again?" - Tangey, adding a feminist touch.
The Red Carpet (i.e. Best Dressed)
Yeah, this is a Freeform show, but Jake and Cassie's reactions weren't exaggerated--this dress is dynamite!
Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous (i.e. moment the show made us want to be rich)
- Paige trying on clothes and drinking champers. Girl is LIVING THE SHOPPING MONTAGE DREAM.
The Paparazzi (i.e. burning questions)
- Who else throws up in their mouth every time Nina and Jordan kiss?
- So we all agree that Jake is hotter than Rainer, yes?
- Did anyone else think it was weird when Paige answered Alexis' call for Jake and then spoke in Spanish?
- It's bonkers that Paige's dad cares so much about college in the face of his daughter becoming an international superstar, right? Right.
With the disclaimer that you should stick with the first two episodes in spite of the fact that you can binge watch the entire series, join me in the comments with your honest opinion!