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IZOMBIE 3x5: Spanking The Zombie

Liv eats dominatrix brain, and there are some Major developments.

IZOMBIE 3x5: Spanking The Zombie

Previously, on iZombie: Liv and Clive uncovered an online bulletin board full of zombie haters, including a guy who owned a gun range. Angus and Don E. went into business together on a zombie bar, and set about developing a client base. Blaine took the memory cure, that didn’t work. A dying Major headed off with the mercenaries.

Grey Matters

Liv has to eat the brain of a murdered dominatrix named Roxanne, whose brain Ravi was using to work on the defective memory restoration cure. But Liv’s objection to eating the brain has more to do with Roxanne’s (aka Sweet Lady Pain’s) line of work. Liv discovers D.A. Baracus (currently running for mayor) was one of Roxanne’s clients, as well as local news man, Johnny Frost, and attorney Brandt Stone. Stone’s not officially willing to admit to being a client, but he does identify her peeping tom. Then he takes Johnny Frost on as a client. Johnny admits that video of him with Sweet Lady Pain was used to blackmail him. They track down the blackmailing peeping tom, who confesses to murdering her.

GIFs via dailyzombie.tumblr.com

Det. Cavanaugh reams Clive and Liv for harassing his witness, since Harley Johns, the anti-zombie gun range owner, has now lawyered up. Cavanaugh wants Clive to stay away from his case. Harley was casing Wally’s house the day before his family was murdered. Clive thinks maybe Fillmore-Graves could get Harley to talk. Fillmore-Graves military commander thinks they should just murder Harley, but Liv suggests they offer him money. They give Harley $10K to find out what Harley knows, from when his brother worked in the Max Rager lab. Harley was told that one way to test if someone is a zombie is that their pulse is 10 beats per minute. They’re unable to convince him that the Max Rager virus outbreak wasn’t zombies. They bug his truck and find out that he and his buddies believe the Chaos Killer victims are all zombies.

Don E. is supposed to be getting The Scratching Post ready, but he takes a trip on Lucky U for old times’ sake, or, that’s how he creates new customers? Don E. and his new stoner friend, Tanner, have a raging party at The Scratching Post.

Major and Justin survive their zombie mercenary mission. Major is feeling the soldier vibe, until he spies the trunk full of spoils of war brains headed home. After getting stabbed on his mission, and hacking up his lungs, Major collapses, and has Justin take him to the morgue. But they can’t give him the cure immediately, because a human Major couldn’t survive his combat wounds. Major asks Liv to remind him, after he takes the cure and loses his memory, what they meant to each other. This leads to them “reuniting”. The next morning, Liv, Major, and Ravi share a touching moment, where he tells them he’ll miss them, before he takes the cure.

Brain Melt

- Cliffy and Vinnie! I needed this Veronica Mars reunion.

- Liv torturing Jimmy the sketch guy? I could watch entire episodes of that.

- MAJORRR. I cannot handle this, y’all. I am not ready for Major to be someone else. Only Rob Thomas could make a silly episode about a zombie turning into a dominatrix end so tragically.

Winners and Chewsers

Winner: I don’t even know, you guys. I think I'm broken.

Loser: Major. This guy already kills me dead, but watching him waste away is more than I can take. And forgetting about Liv and Ravi? NOOOO.

Words With a Bite

“When I want your advice, I’ll beat it out of you. Now be a good little sketch bitch, and pick up that pad.” - Liv

“Show of hands if you’re super turned on right now?” - Liv

“We may need to reboot her.” - Carey Gold

“You need me to get you a teleprompter, Johnny?” - Clive

“Once I’m new me, keep reminding me of what we meant to each other. And give me a new name. One that’s less silly.” - Major

“You know I had this whole speech planned. It was funny and heartfelt, profound. But it feels like a waste, if you’re just going to forget it anyway. Let’s just agree it was brilliant.” - Ravi

Picking Your Brain

- Where’s Angus? And how pissed is he going to be about the clientele Don E. appears to be selecting?

- There was no Peyton or Blaine in this episode. Are they snuggled up in a gross love nest together?

- Do we think there’s a different reason that Det. Cavanaugh wants Clive to stay away from his case?

- What will become of Major?!

Please come comfort me in the comments. BYO tissues.

Next episode: DJ Liv, in “Some Like It Hot Mess”


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Kandis Seaver's photo About the Author: Kandis read adult fiction as a teenager and now makes up for it by reading all the YA she can get her hands on. (The swoonier, the better!) She lives in Austin, where she enjoys Wonder Woman collectibles, livetweeting everything, and cocktails with her FYA book club pals. She has never stopped watching Veronica Mars.