Previously, Jordan rekindles the flame with Tangey, who fires her stage mom/manager, while Paige faces her chemistry with Rainer and Cassie deals with unpaid bills that could get her kicked out of school.
So we're never getting to Hawaii, are we?
The Elevator Pitch
Paige's 21st birthday arrives, and while Jake continues to be a dick to her, Rainer comes to the rescue and throws her a surprise party under the guise of needing dance lessons from Twitch. (Pro-tip: If I ever get private time with Twitch, don't ruin it by inviting other people.) Turns out that Rainer might not be such a playboy after all, and Paige is finally open to his advances, though they both want to take it slow.
Jake and Alexis are a thing, I guess, and as much as I adore the latter, it's all pretty gross. They get a pitch meeting with an exec at Newcastle Studios, who loves Jake's script but doesn't want him to direct (NO KIDDING), and after seeing Paige with Rainer at her birthday party, Jake decides to go all in with Alexis. Because he sucks.
Nina finds out that Tangey and Jordan are hooking up, and while it seems for a second like she'll be the mature adult in the situation (because SHE IS THE MATURE ADULT), she instead decides to get in cahoots with Ida, who is pissed that Tangey still won't come back to her in the face of having her accounts frozen. Nina spills the beans about Jordan, who is publicly an orphan in spite of having a mother who is very much alive and in jail, and Ida pays her a visit, which can only mean more crazy dramz.
We also discover that Rainer doesn't know the identity of his father, who is the new head of the studio. Alrighty!
Oh yeah, and Paige tries to turn in a paper late but the professor won't take it and WHO CARES.
And the Oscar Goes To...
It's always going to be Cassie, isn't it? The worst thing about her is that she sometimes works as a topless maid, which means she's the most decent character on this entire show.
At least she got some with Adam this week! Girl, you DESERVE IT.
Can I Quote You On That?
I got nothing. No zingers, no fun pop culture episodes... the script for this episode was, to put it politely, underwhelming.
The Red Carpet
I'm not usually a fan of midriff bared outside of the beach, but Tangey totally rocked this ensemble (which is why it's super weird that she left the club to show this off... at the recording studio).
Honorable mention goes to Paige's "I woke up like this" hair the morning after her birthday party at Rainer's.
Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous
Rainer opening a GIGANTIC bottle of champers and driving me WILD WITH JEALOUSY.
- Seriously, WHAT is the deal with the time travel in Locked? A musical dance number? Rainer in a fedora?!
- How much do the writers hate Jake?
- I thought the college vs. film career thing was over. WHY ISN'T IT OVER?
- What kind of lip gloss does Tangey wear cos I need it.
That's a wrap on this week's recap, so join me in the comments with your rants and raves.