Previously, on Riverdale: There was much solidifying of feelings for our gang with long, passionate kisses, Veronica has had it with her mom's shady shananigans, FP is still in jail, Jughead has been sent to a foster family on the south side, and Fred Andrews was SHOT at Pop's! Is nothing sacred??
Riverdale apparently has a terrible ambulance service (get on that, Mayor McCoy!), so poor Archie has to drive his bleeding father to the hospital. I think it's safe to say that this season none of us can mock Archie for his adolescent man-pain, because this poor kid is going THROUGHT IT.
The gang convene at the hospital to support Archie, and Detectives Cooper and Jones are on the case once they realize that it wasn't a botched robbery attempt. Veronica tries being a good girlfriend which includes taking Archie's mind off of things (a'hem) when they go home to get him clean clothes and a shower.
Jughead seeks out the help of The Serpents, trying to figure out who shot Fred Andrews, but they just end up pummeling some poor guy for info who had nothing to do with it. Betty voices her concern and her support for Jughead's new life as an almost-Serpent living on his own in his dad's trailer. I mean, the public services in Riverdale really need to step it up if you've got a foster family who's like, "Oh totes, you should definitely stay at your dad's shady trailer/crimescene instead of living with adults who can care for you".
Cheryl is at the hospital with her mother, telling anyone who will listen how brave her mom was, running back into the burning house to save her daughter. BUT we all know that's a pack of lies because Cheryl set fire to Thornhill, and her mother ran back inside to save a family painting. (I'm going to need to see what's under the back of that painting, gang. It better be a treasure map.) Cheryl is running Team Blossom now, and for the love of God can SOMEONE tell me if Nana is still alive??
Fred pulls through, Archie is hella traumatized and insists on keeping his dad safe the old fashioned way instead of having his mom install a security system.
The Teens And The Grownups
Veronica uses her favorite Love Language (gifts!) to show Archie how much she's worried about him and his dad. It's so cute. She's also REALLY patient with him when he lashes out at her after their hot shower sesh. Betty is understanding of Jughead's need to be at his dad's house while he's in jail, and Cheryl is terrifying and I love her. (What the hell really happened in that barn anyway??)
Ugh, Hiram Lodge. He's finally in Riverdale. It would be too obvious to have him be the one who ordered the hit on Fred....and why the hell did the same guy kill Grundy?? HOLY CHILD PREDATOR, Batman! I don't care that she's dead because she was AWFUL, but the only obvious link between her and Fred is...Archie. Why would anyone hate Archie??
At the Chock'lit Shoppe
There has to be some kind of health code violation going on when Pop offers to cook for the kids. How is this place only a crime scene for like, two hours?
Just to be clear, I don't actually have any empathy for Penelope Blossom, and I look forward to her and Cheryl's Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? dynamic.
A Fine Line
If you tell anyone the truth about what happened with the fire, I’ll tell everyone about what really happened in the barn with Daddy. You were cruel to me, Mother. It was abuse. Please, Mom.
[Cheryl starts squeezing Penelope’s breathing tube and she whispers] So, hence forth: if you breathe, it’s because I give you air. If you drink, it’s because I’ve poured your cup myself. And, If you move, it is quietly and with my blessing. [She releases the breathing tube] Things are going to be different now, Mommy. Better...you’ll see.
The little splash of red among all of the white is SO telling.
Oh HAI THERE, new Reggie:
We'll also be seeing Betty and Polly's brother sometime this season, played by actor Hart Denton. This guy looks REMARKABLY like Madchen Amick, so well done, casting!
And Jughead gets a job at Pop's!
First things first: who is the killer? The internet is screaming that it's Hal Cooper. I think it's someone we haven't "seen" yet, personally.
Will Betty and Polly's brother be mentally stable? (I really, really hope so.)
Even better, is he actually Hal's son OR could he be FP's...?
Is Hermione Lodge going to get progressively more like Lady Macbeth now that her husband is home?
Will Jughead be on a motorcycle every week? Because I really need that in my life, y'all.