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Riverdale 2x7: Tales From The Darkside

Gather round ye who dare, for we have THREE tales of horror and fun this week!

Riverdale 2x7: Tales From The Darkside

Previously, on Riverdale: Archie tried to help out Jughead and it backfired spectacularly, Betty told the Black Hood she’s coming for him, Bughead is reunited, and the Black Hood breaks into the sheriff station and murders the drug-dealing teacher.

The Rundown

Penny Peabody, aka The Snake Charmer, fools Jughead into being her drug runner by concocting a tale about how FP has been viciously attacked in prison because of Jughead’s drag race fuck-up with The Ghoulies. He needs Archie’s dad’s truck to get the mysteriously large box of “pancake mix” across the border to Greendale (but do they have a community college?). The boys get a flat and are “assisted” by THE FREAKING CANDYMAN.

Excellent casting choice, show. Well done.

He tells Jughead about The Riverdale Ripper over liver and ketchup at the local all-night diner, but only after Juggie discovers a dead deer in the back of his pick-up. The same dead, bloodied deer that Archie sees limping across the road as he gets his tire changed. Is The Ripper back? Did he ever leave? IS HE THE BLACK HOOD?

Our next story centers around Josie and her stalker. She has no idea she’s being stalked until someone leaves a sketch and a pig’s heart for her to find, but the clues were there all along. Cheryl is quick to blame newly reformed Chuck (I mean, at least he’s trying but whatever) since he’s taken a shine to Josie, but it’s clearly not him.

And finally we have Betty and Veronica: Snoopers At Large. Betty can’t shake the feeling that Sheriff Keller could be The Black Hood, especially when Kevin confesses that his dad is out all night most nights. You know Betty is feeling responsible for the latest murder because her first thought is NIGHTLY MURDER SPREES, but Veronica quickly shuts that down.

The Teens

Jughead is on the hook for whatever debt FB owes Penny and so I hate her. Archie is trying to do right by his best pal, and it’s refreshing to not have SO much Archie in one episode. Josie has alienated Mel and Val by accepting solo studio time with a producer and Cheryl continues to be a puppet master. At least we got to see some serious B&V detective work.

The Grownups

Y’all - can we talk about Sheriff Keller?

*cough* ANYWAY.

He’s very understanding of Betty’s suspicions of him being a serial killer since his police board looks like a murder board, and he even tells her that he won’t tell Kevin because it would break his heart. Oh, and he’s shagging Mayor McCoy. Both of them have spouses that are absent so, ya know, I get it?

FP is still in the slammer, but it looks like next week he’s going to be out. Thank God, I need more of the decent adults to have screentime. It was such a relief to not have to look at The Lodges or Penelope Blossom for an episode.

The Clues

Anyone else catch the nod to H.P. Lovecraft on the crate?

Between this and the dead/not dead, bloodied deer that Archie sees in the middle of the road I am super excited that Riverdale is getting more and more supernatural. #readyforsabrina

Our show gave us a red herring in the form of an unassuming janitor who lets Josie stay late to practice her music, but we should have known it was Cheryl after Mel and Val were left notes ratting out Josie’s studio time to her fellow bandmates, leaving Josie a solo artist. Gross, Cheryl. Way to alienate everyone from Josie’s life.

Outfit MVP

A violet satin romper AND pearls? Veronica Lodge knows how to sleep, y’all.

A Fine Line

Betty: Veronica, I have a theory...about Sheriff Keller.
Veronica: Oh, me too. It’s obvious.
[Both speak at the same time]
Betty: He’s The Black Hood.
Veronica: He’s having an affair.
B and V are on the case!


Poor WTF Cheryl Blossom 

Burning Questions

Why did the Greendale Baddies look like Germans from Raiders of the Lost Ark? LOL. Oh, show.

After the Black Hood’s phonecall to Pop Tate who do we think is next??

How long before Cheryl starts dressing like Josie and offers to be her back-up singer?

What's Coming

Next week!

Shameless Self-Promotion!


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Amanda Reid's photo About the Author: Amanda R. is an East Coast girl living in California who will never stop missing a true autumn. She's a bookseller who specializes in kid and teen lit, the leader of FYA Oakland, and bakes a damn fine pie.