Previously, on Riverdale: Cheryl was rescued from a gay conversion nightmare, Archie and Veronica continued to suck, no mystery continued to happen, I thought I had lost interest in Riverdale for good until Carrie the Musical came along and saved everything!
Riverdale High is putting on a production of Carrie the Musical and it's MAGICAL. It reunites my beloved B&V, reunites my bitchy faves Cheryl & Josie, reunites my wholesome dummies Fred & Archie, reunites my never-thought-I'd-care spouses Hal & Alice, puts Hiram in his place a bit, puts Penelope in her place a whole hell of a lot, and even brings back a murder mystery! FINALLY!
Cheryl Blossom's playing Carrie, with Midge as her understudy and Ethel as her VERY JEALOUS rival. Poor Ethel - I agree, she'd be a perfect Carrie White.
Betty's playing the good girl and Veronica's playing the bad girl, with Kevin directing (perfectly), Juggie shooting the behind-the-scenes documentary, Chuck redeeming himself as a very hard-working castmember whose name escapes me and Archie in the John Travolta role (also perfectly). Archie's moves are KILLING! ME!
Also! Cheryl uses the production to make up beautifully with Josie, and it makes me happy.
Fred Andrews is designing the sets for Carrie the Musical, hoping to get some quality time in with his son. Archie doesn't want Fred to know that Hiram gave him a car, so Hiram tells Fred anyway, because he's a little shit. But - thankfully!!! - this has the opposite of Hiram's desired effect, bringing Archie and Fred closer together. Archie tells off Hiram, returns the car, and buys an ol' jalopy he can fix up with his dad. Archie's first jalopy! This is major!
Alice is playing Margaret White in the musical, which is both hilarious and perfect.
She gets very emotional during rehearsal, and later confides in Betty that she feels like everyone has left her. So Betty sweetly arranges for Hal and Alice to reconcile, which I'm not sure is a great idea but everyone seems happy about it, so okay! Also Chic comes back, which neither Betty nor I am pleased to discover.
THERE ARE SOME! The mystery has returned and I'm so glad. I'm sure Riverdale always planned to bring back the Black Hood in such a cool and dramatic way, but that's the problem with a 22-episode season (as opposed to last year's tight thirteen eps): we were stuck spinning our wheels for weeks and weeks before we returned to the juicy stuff.
So! Carrie the Musical's beset with a "classic Phantom of the Opera tactic," as Juggie puts it. Lots of on-set "accidents" and serial killer cut-out letters demanding the main role be recast. At first Betty and Juggie (and the audience) suspect Ethel because she's lime-green jello, and because she has cut-out magazines in her trashcan. Turns out, those are for her vision board, and the Black Hood has RETURNED and KILLS MIDGE ONSTAGE and it is honestly amazing.
Carrie the Musical
It's SO GOOD, you guys. Such great songs and choreography and art direction and costuming. Much like Kevin Keller, I am OBSESSED. (Also Kevin is so cute and hilarious as director. "Am I directing a trainwreck?" Yes, Kevin, yes you are. And god bless you for it.)
Us after every musical number tbh. pic.twitter.com/vUiPkiri05— Riverdale Writers Room (@RiverdaleWriter) April 19, 2018
Seriously - get a load of this!
Oh AND they're releasing the full soundtrack - including a blood-red vinyl at Urban Outfitters on July 13! I WILL BE THERE.
The most important moment of "A Night to Remember" is when Betty and Veronica put aside their grudges and hug it out over song. I am SO RELIEVED these two besties are reunited. What a cold, dark period of enmity that was!
Everything that is happening in this picture.
A Fine Line
I'm giving it to Archie this week! He stands up to Hiram BEAUTIFULLY.
I might actually be able to wear this shirt I loved from the last episode, after all.
Penelope refuses to give her consent for Carrie to star in the musical, and also she's a homophobic monster who's been torturing Cheryl's sweet Nana Rose. So Cheryl goes FULL CARRIE on her ass and scares the bejesus out of her. Cheryl's demands: legal emancipation, full control of Thistlehouse for her and Nana, and an assurance that Penelope will never again touch one hair on Nana Rose's head. IT RULES SO HARD.
God, it feels good to be excited about Riverdale again!
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