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Teen Queen Madness: Sassy, Round Two

This week's match-ups are really putting the sass in Sassy. 

Teen Queen Madness: Sassy, Round Two

Let's face it, the first round of voting in this bracket was preeeeetty easy. The only upset--and it was a minor one--was Shannen Doherty, ranked 9, overtaking Brittany Snow, ranked 8, but I think we all saw that one coming. 

But harden those hearts, because this next battle is gonna get bloody! Check out the interactive Sassy bracket:

This week we're taking a look at how our teen queens stepped into the spotlight and ascended the throne, which will probably make it that much harder for you to choose. So yeah, good luck with that voting!

(1) Sarah Michelle Gellar vs. (9) Shannen Doherty

It feels like SMG was always destined to be the Slayer, but not many people fully realized her power (yep I went there) until the show hit its stride in Season Two. Buffy Summers really raised the stakes (yep, did it again) on pop culture heroines, and Sarah Michelle Gellar imbued her with a legendary fierceness and incredible sass. 

Speaking of fierce, ain't nobody gonna mess with Brenda Walsh! Shannen Doherty aced the OG Mean Girl on Beverly Hills, 90210, and whether you loved her or hated her, you damn well respected her.

(This match-up is especially rough because SMG and Shannen are real life besties! Ouch.)

(5) Winona Ryder vs. (4) Katie Holmes

Sure, Winona's role in Heathers was major, but the world had already fallen for her thanks to Beetlejuice. Lydia spoke to all of the weirdos and tortured souls out there, not to mention establishing #BangGoals for all of eternity.

Oh, that Joey Potter! From her first grin to her last lip bite, Katie Holmes made it easy to see why love triangles happened so often in Capeside.

(6) Michelle Williams vs. (3) Lindsay Lohan

It's hard to be the new girl in any town, but when you're dealing with the drama of Capeside, it's almost impossible. Radiating with potential, Michelle Williams owned the character of Jen Lindley, to the point where she often outshone the writing.

Hopefully everyone's okay with me ignoring Freaky Friday, because I'm gonna. (And we can skip The Parent Trap, because Lindsay wasn't a teen yet. Or if she was, she was playing a tween, and I'm too lazy to try to figure out if anything I just said is accurate.) Irregardless, as Gretchen Weiners would say, we can all agree that Cady Heron is Lindsay Lohan's best role (and I won't bother to say to date, because obviously). Lindsay as Cady is likeable even when she's making poor choices, and the fact that her public shenanigans never managed to ruin her in Mean Girls for me speaks volumes

(7) Julia Stiles vs. (2) Kristen Bell

In 10 Things About You, Julie Stiles became everyone's favorite Riot Grrl, Katarina Stratford. Kat is an asshole in all of the best ways, and watching her speak her mind freely, especially to the male idiots around her, remains inspiring 20 years (!) later.  

It's too bad that Julia has to go up against Kristen Bell, because only Veronica Mars could outsnark Kat Stratford. Kristen's dynamite comedy skills and killer attitude are on full, blazing display in her role as the teen detective, and while there's a sharp division between Team Logan and Team Piz, there ain't nothing but full and fervent membership on Team Veronica. 


Posh Deluxe's photo About the Author: Sarah lives in Austin, TX, where she programs films at the Alamo Drafthouse. Sarah enjoys fancy cocktails, dance parties and anything that sparkles (except vampires).