Hey y’all! We’ve already given you a zillion reasons to watch Friday Night Lights and told you why you should want Coach Taylor to be your dad and/or husband. So today, our clear eyes and full hearts are focused on Tami Taylor, a.k.a. Mrs. Coach, a.k.a. UNIVERSAL ROLE MODEL AND INSPIRATION TO US ALL. If you don’t already want to be Tami Taylor when you grow up, please take a look at the following list of HARD EVIDENCE as to why she is a Supreme Being and should be elected President/Queen/Ruler of the Universe. TAMI TAYLOR FOREVER.
1. Her hair is so luscious and shiny, it could provide solar energy for the entire planet.
I mean, seriously. WHAT PRODUCTS DOES SHE USE? Moonbeams? Unicorn sweat? Dried, ground up fairy carcasses? (I would have no problem with that.)
2. She challenges people to be better versions of themselves.
While her husband is a fantastic football coach, Tami is an amazing LIFE coach. She sees the best in people and empowers them to discover that potential. Whether she’s giving Tyra some tough love or teaching Julie how to not be an insufferable brat, Tami helps people to transform themselves into upstanding, awesome individuals. Which leads me to…
3. She made Landry tutor Tim Riggins.
The tutoring is only featured in one episode, but this Tami-inspired development is my ALL TIME favorite storyline in the show. Especially when Landry assumes that Riggins has a Jordan Catalano problem and Tim assures him that he can, in fact, read. SCORE ONE FOR THE MLD.
4. She’s full of incredible wisdom.
Tami is the kind of high school counselor you dreamed about but never had. She actually cares! She actually listens! She actually gives you advice! And what solid gold advice it is. Here are a few of the gems that she’s shared:
- “There’s no weakness in forgiveness.”
- “The big deal is, that it’s part of my job to make sure that you don’t grow up stupid… it’s bad for the world.”
- “The most important thing to me is that my daughter be able to talk to me. A girl is entitled to that with her mother.”
- “Well… you’re gonna win… or you’re gonna lose. Either way the sun’s still gonna come up tomorrow morning.”
- “Barbecues build morale. That’s why you have ’em.”
Embroider this shizz on some pillows, y’all!
5. She is one BAMF.
Sure, Tami is caring and compassionate, but that doesn’t make her a pushover. Girlfriend understands that sass is a powerful tool, and she’s not afraid to be fierce. Like remember that coin toss in Season 4, when the douchebag Panthers wanted defense, but Tami called offense? And then she’s all, “Y’all have a great game now.” OH SNAP. Or that time when she stood up to the entire town to protect Becky’s reproductive rights, even though Becky was crazy annoying? As Tami says, “I’m right 100% of the time,” and the entire world knows it.
6. She loves her baby, even though Gracie Bell looks like this:
That’s some powerful, unconditional love, y’all.
7. She’s a total feminist.
Tami is a supportive wife and mother, but she’s also a strong, independent woman. For example, when she gets her dream job, she tells the Coach: “It’s my turn, babe. I have loved you and you have loved me and we have compromised, both of us… for your job. And now it’s time to talk about doing that for my job.” HELL YES.
8. She understands the importance of alcohol.
When relaxing at home, Tami is rarely spotted without a glass of wine in her hand. Just like nature intended.
9. Her cleavage is always flattering AND appropriate.
Let’s face it. Mrs. Coach is one hot mama. And if she wanted to, she could take her girls for a walk in every single episode. Instead, she gracefully treads the line between demure and sexy, and her boobs always look amazing but never overexposed. It’s a skill, and she’s the Cleavage Master.
10. She made “y’all” into the most beautiful word in the English language.
In summary, TAMI TAYLOR IS MY HERO. SHE IS THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS. SHE IS EVERYTHING I WISH I COULD BE.
And even though she can never be outshone or replaced, I am happy to see that Connie Britton will be returning to sass up my television. Thankfully, she still has the opportunity to say “y’all!”
p.s. In case you ever meet
Tami Taylor Connie Britton, prepare yourself with these questions. And then prepare yourself for a MASSIVE TIDAL WAVE OF MY JEALOUSY.*
*I did actually get to stand in once for Tami when I was an extra on FNL. It was the most flattering moment of my entire existence.