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Previously: The Proletheans banish Gracie after she loses her baby (with her dear ol’ mom, Bonnie, leading the charge); Henrik used the original Castor sample to clone a son that died in infancy; Mark and Rudy have Sarah cornered; and Helena kills Parsons, a Castor clone who was being experimented on and begging for her to end his life.
Major Dirty Paul is back, and he’s looking really hot. Also, other important things happened!
Clone Club Chronicles
After Helena’s escape from Castor HQ was derailed by her mercy killing of Parsons, Helena the cheesecake (TM Pupok the imaginary scorpion) is back in the cell. And she has a new neighbour: Sarah’s involuntarily moved in next door, thanks to Mark and Rudy apprehending her after the previous episode. But Helena’s none too happy to be reunited with the sestra that she believes had sold her out to Project Castor. Sarah tries to explain that she had no part in Mrs. S’s deal to trade Helena in order to protect Sarah and Kira from Dyad. Sarah also tells Helena that the Mark-faced boys are their brothers, which also goes disbelieved, before she’s taken away.
Sarah’s been brought before Mother, who’s really just there to narrate Project Castor’s Dr. Silver drawing blood from Sarah in order to filter it for stem cells, aka apheresis. Henrik’s clone baby corpse might contain the original genome without the synthetic sequence that makes the Castor clones viable, but Sarah and Helena’s fertile specialness might contain a backup in case viable samples can’t be extracted from the baby bones.
Once Sarah’s back in the cell, she tries to get intel about the base from Helena, to no avail. Equally unhelpful — to her current cause, anyway — is Major Dirty Paul, who stops by for a long overdue convo with Sarah, with kissy noise interruptions courtesy of Helena. Major Dirty Paul backs up Sarah’s story of the trade with Mrs. S, and also compares his devotion to the Castor clones with Sarah’s to her sisters. Except, of course, Sarah’s sisters aren’t sociopaths (other than, like, the one).
But Major Dirty Paul believes that everything Project Castor does is for the good of the glitching Castor clones, including Parsons’ sacrifice for months (eek) of data collection. Although keeping Sarah prisoner is NOT what he signed off on, and he lets Mother know it. Mother reassures him that no harm will come to Sarah, but Paul’s starting to doubt whether the ends truly justify the means by Project Castor.
Over at Orphan Is the New Black (TM Catie), Sarah opens up to Helena about why she left Kira with Mrs. S. Because she was young, selfish, and irresponsible, Sarah missed a year of her kid’s life that she can never get back. This prompts Helena to make up with Sarah, filling her in on how the two of them can get out of Castor HQ.
When the guards (incl. clone Miller) come around to retrieve the meal trays, Sarah lures them inside her cell to provoke a beating that sends her to the infirmary. (Because a similar tactic wasn’t JUST used by Helena, but OK. For a super shady military organization, Project Castor sure ain’t the brightest.) While Dr. Silver tends to her wounds and advises her to play nice with the brothers, Sarah smuggles a pair of tweezers back to her cell.
With some twin ingenuity, Sarah passes the tweezers to Helena, who then picks her way out of the handcuffs binding her feet. Greasing herself up with the butter stash she’s squirreled away from her meals, Helena knocks out a loose bar on her cell door window, squeezing through the small opening that it creates. Helena then disconnects the surveillance camera, which gets noticed by the non-Miller guard. When he comes by to check it out, Helena sneaks up on him, killing him instantly. But instead of getting the keys to free Sarah, Helena chooses to get payback; she leaves Sarah behind. (Preying on Helena having no one else to turn to, though? Dirty pool, Sarah.) Helena makes it over the compound walls before Project Castor realizes she’s gone, but she seems to be having second thoughts about leaving Sarah behind. So she’s not COMPLETELY heartless. Just mostly.
Back in Probably Toronto, Cosima goes on her first Sapphire date with Shay (aka Ksenia Solo from Life Unexpected and Lost Girl). After hitting it off — under the watchful eye of an unknown photo-taking party — Shay offers to show Cosima some holistic healing (not a euphemism, but an actual massage). Cos still isn’t over Delphine yet, but she also didn’t expect such a connection with Shay, either. Sort of a euphemism that time, as the two of them got their kissyfaces on.
Meanwhile, Gracie shows up at Art’s doorstep, whom Sarah had instructed her to contact if she runs into any trubs. Homeless and fetus-less, Gracie’s in desperate need for a friend, and what better friends to have than Mrs. S. and Felix? Except Fee is having none of it, but Mrs. S.’s sympathy and kindness prevails. Working a MUCH better braid than the last ones we saw her in, Mrs. S. sees a lot of parallels between herself and Gracie. After she married and later was widowed young, Mrs. S. was taken in by her aunt Jo, who helped her from self-destructing. Unbeknownst to Sarah and, until now, Felix, John Sadler was a rebel and a drunk who died in a fight from a pair of garden shears to the throat. (YEP, that would do it.)
Now that Gracie can finally think and act for herself, she wants to go clubbing and drink Mai Tais in one of Sarah’s questionable old outfits. Felix and Mrs. S. stop her from running before walking, starting her on some gin and an emergency dance party at home. Gracie’s getting the hang of it until she collapses from pain. By the time paramedics arrive, Gracie’s eyes have turned MAJOR red.
Gracie isn’t the only one enlisting the help of Detective Bell. He meets with Patty, the woman that had been sexually assaulted by Rudy and Seth, who’s fallen quite ill since the encounter. She, too, has TEH OMINOUS RED EYEZ.
Clone Crush
I’ve got to go with Helena for the second week in a row (and three out of five episodes so far), because girlfriend is BADASS. Sure, leaving Sarah behind isn’t cool (although understandable, and Helena could still go back for her), but the way she breaks out of the cell and then scales up the walls of the Castor compound… omg, Helena for Spider-Woman.
As for the other clones, I def. noticed Alison’s absence. Whether or not I missed her storyline, I’m not quite sure. Her (and Donnie), I still love, though.
Maximum Maslanys
The Wonder Twins are back together, albeit separated by a shared cell wall, before Helena makes her solo escape.
Felix Felicis
Everything with Fee and Mrs. S. is SO GOOD. I love that we get to see their relationship outside of Sarah and Kira. And both of them shaking their tailfeathers with Gracie.
Leda vs. Castor
With Major Dirty Paul back on the Castor base, Mother wants Rudy to make his shit-disturbing self scarce for the next 48 hours. That… can’t end well. Before he leaves, Rudy gives Mother a peck on the cheek, further confirming that he’s the mama’s boy that we know him to be.
Obvs, the big development for Leda is that Helena has escaped. But with Sarah the de facto ringleader behind bars and Helena being an unpredictable wildcard, that’s like one step forward, two steps back for Clone Club.
Cloned Quotes
Sarah: “What have they done to you? Are you OK?”
Reunited and it feels so good!
Helena: “I’m most wonderful.”
Felix: “You, Baby Jesus — come up the stairs with me.”
Fee reluctantly taking Gracie under his wing, because his mommy made him do it.
Felix: “You know I sleep with men, right?”
OK, Gracie. You can stay.
Gracie: “I’m not stupid.”
Cosima: “She’s French. Mostly just really great hair.”
A perfect description of Delphine.
Helena: “I have no plan. I am institutionalized.”
No one holds a grudge like Helena.
Mrs. S.: “You were eavesdropping.”
Aww, so protective of his mama!
Felix: “Yeah! I wasn’t about to leave you alone with Rosemary’s baby, was I?”
Felix: “See, darling, that’s why I don’t dance in heels.”
WISE WORDS.
Biggest “OMG DID THAT JUST HAPPEN?!?” Moment
This isn’t so much surprising, but just a reminder that Project Castor and Mother know no boundaries. That time Rudy and Seth took Patty’s hair and info? Yeah, that was documentation for the Castor clones’ log book of intimate contacts. So not only does Mother want to know whom her boys have been boning, but she wants an actual detailed report. For, like, scientific and official reasons, I’m sure, but still: LOVELY.
Curiosity Killed the Clone
- Who’s taking creeper photos of Cosima and Shay? Is it Delphine keeping tabs on her ex in a fit of jealousy?! (I really doubt that, but WHY NOT.) I’m guessing Shay’s involved somehow, since she was preeeetty nosy about the breakup for someone on a first date. Or maybe the show’s throwing us in for a loop, and the real target of the stalker photos is actually Shay, not Cos.
- Another convo between Paul and Mother, another fracture in that relationship. How long before Paul switches allegiance from Project Castor? Or, at least, from Mother?
- So what exactly happens to the sexual partners of Castor clones? I’m thinking it doesn’t end in death,* since that would knowingly inflict A LOT of collateral damage, even from Rudy’s little black book alone. Then again, it’s not like Project Castor’s known for its upstanding morals.
*Nor pregnancy, since clones other than Sarah and Helena are sterile. Unless the boy clones are different?
- Why does Shay think “my mom made me read everything” is a reasonable explanation for being a fan of Neruda, he of the “erotically charged love poems”? Although your mom making you read Neruda could fit into this season’s theme of mommy issues.
- We’ve reached the halfway point of Season 3, y’all. What does everybody think of it so far? Overwhelming? Underwhelming? Only whelmed in Europe?
Next Episode
Alison and Donnie stop by Ali’s mom’s (!!!) store with their drug-dealer boss, Jason; Felix meets with cyclops Rachel; Shay gets curious about Sarah (although hasn’t everyone on this show?); Sarah’s feeling sick; Delphine returns — and so does Kira?!? Plus: Kandis will be filling in for me for the next two episodes while I’m away for Book Expo!
