XoRo! Family dance! Adam! MICHAEL!
Ugh, heart eyes for DAYS. What a lovely way for this third season of Jane to end.
AWARDS
THIS WEEK’S MVP(arent)
Oh dang, I think Alba‘s pre-wedding shout takes the proverbial cake, right?
BEST TELENOVELA TWIST
Michael’s secret love letter—and for us, Michael—reappearing in Jane’s life at exactly the right moment, along with all the improbable coincidences that it took for the letter to make it into her hands at all.
BEST PRODUCT PLACEMENT
There was definitely some sweet Chevy action in there several times, but I’m going to try to endear myself to Matelio by giving the award to Finding Dory, which he has seen at least three times more than I have.
Runner up: public transportation!
It gets you close to where you want to go.
PREVIOUSLY ON JANE THE VIRGIN
I can’t effectively slow my roll down in print the way the VoG narrator could in voiceover, but suffice it to say, so much happened in Jane’s life these last three seasons/five years, that the only way to approach it is slowly and with respect: She fell in love, got pregnant, fell in love a different way, fell out of love, fell in love again, and eventually married Michael, with whom she had the happiest first ~year of marriage before he died from heart complications following Rose SHOOTING HIM IN THE CHEST on his wedding night. Xiomara and Rogelio also fell in love, got pregnant, fell in love a different way, fell out of love, fell in love again, and eventually got engaged, and now they are about to be married! And Jane is officiating! Meanwhile, Rafael started to fall for Petra again, and his fall made Jane start falling for him again, but she kept the heart glow at bay in order to try and make Petrael (Rafetra?) work. Outside of all this love mess? Luisa and Eileen Rose, on the run constantly as Eileen Rose still doesn’t trust Rafael not to be working with the cops to find her, and Rafael still doesn’t trust Eileen enough to not be working with the cops to determine if she is Rose in disguise—especially not since Chuck’s suspect description from the night of Scott’s murder (RIP I guess) came up with a portrait pretty dang close to Eileen…
THIS WEEK
I Don’t (Yet) Know Him From Adam
One big smörgâsbord of Villanueva family love! These women have been there for each other through everything, the good, the bad, the ugly, the ::cough:: first heartbreak ::cough::, everything. And now Xiomara is getting married, and they’re together here, too!
Binders and Babies and Hurricanes, Oh My!
So it only took our Jane one week (out of the two she was given) to put together not just ONE Giant Wedding Game Plan, but TWO. Gotta have a hurricane contingency—it’s Miami!
Thankfully, the contingency isn’t needed. That font of historically accurate prognostication, the TV weatherman, assures the great Miami-Dade area that the current hurricane in the region will end up passing them all by, so Jane puts out the fire on her sleeve (everything is fine!) and tells her family to put away Binder B, while she goes off to the priest’s to get advice on what to write into the ceremony.
There, she learns that Michael actually did write her the rainy day love letter the priest advised back when they were about to get married, and we are all treated to some brand new flashbacks to Michael practicing his vows en español with Alba, and goofing off about just every old thing with Jane. Unfortunately, Alba never saw the letter, and the priest has no idea where Michael hid it, and the only place Jane thought to check—under the broken floorboard in their old apartment—comes up empty, so Jane is stuck with the maddening knowledge that it EXISTS, just not WHERE.
Naturally, the hurricane does not end up passing Miami by—neither the literal wind and rain hurricane, nor the hurricane of PLOT TWISTS. Because plot twist! Darcie is back (hi, Justine Machado!), seven months pregnant with Rogelio’s little girl. And she wants Jane to break the news! Naturally.
Jane does, first to Rogelio, then, as a messenger, to Xo. Rogelio tries to reassure Xiomara that things don’t have to change—she doesn’t have to have anything to do with baby! But they both know that that’s not realistic, and so they postpone the ceremony until they can sort things out with Darcie (and their lawyers).
They immediately set up a sit down with her at the Marbella, and, obviously, it goes very poorly. Xiomara tries to act as mediator, but is shut down by a disgusted Darcie, who declares that Xiomara’s opinion is neither heard nor welcome, “I heard you guys weren’t getting married, anyway.” And that’s the last straw! Certainty dawns on Xo’s face, and she looks at Ro with pure love: OF COURSE they are getting married. There’s just no other future for either of them than one together.
So yeah, Darcie, you’ll be hearing from THEIR lawyer!
So the wedding is officially back on, at the Marbella, where they are all (but Jane and Raf) locked down. Alba and Jorge raid the gift shop for beauty supplies and decorations; Matelio acts as gopher between Xo’s and Ro’s respective vanities; Krishna makes sure that the ballroom isn’t too crowded with Fairview Hotel refugees, since “Rafael promised Jane.” This sets Petra’s paranoia into hyperdrive, because once again, there is Jane, sucking all the life out of her love, but she gets back to work shepherding guests to safety.
Jane and Rafael are at Jane’s house retrieving Xo’s gown, meanwhile…and Jane’s (it’s a monstrosity). A palm tree falls on Raf’s car, so they are stuck taking the bus back to the Marbella. In what SEEMS like a twist of fate, Rafael spots a bus ad for Jane’s publishing house listing their upcoming releases, of which hers is one, and they celebrate together. “I used to write on this very bus,” she muses. So that’s meant to be, huh? he asks.
“NO,” Jane says forcefully. That? That was hard work! And a choice to DO the work! No meant to be magic there at all, just commitment. And there’s Jane’s inspiration! She starts scribbling, and by the time they have reached the hotel, her speech is ready.
Unfortunately, so is karma: the shared car service driving an angry Luisa (sprung from jail for snitching on Rose, who didn’t, it turns out, kill Scott) AND Anezka (sprung from jail for not having killed Scott after all) to the airport splashes muddy water into Jane and Raf just as they reach the sidewalk, and Raf slapsticks his way all through the mud, destroying Xo’s gown.
So c’monnnnnn EIleeeeeeeeeeen
Jane’s dress survives, having been stuffed in her backpack, but Xo is SOL—a fact she finds SO FUNNY, because OBVIOUSLY this would happen, today of all days!
This actually works perfectly with Jane’s speech, which, following her bus revelation, is all about how Xo and Ro aren’t meant to be, but rather choosing each other, despite the obstacles, despite the hard work. It, along with the yelling speech of love and pride Alba gives before the ceremony, is beautiful.
Even Chuck thinks so! He seeks Petra out afterwards to tell her so, and to suggest that maybe the two of them are the same, on again off again on again and meant to be (I’m not convinced he totally GOT the speech but whatevs), and anyway, he saw how Petra was watching Rafael the whole time that Rafael was watching Jane, and when all is said and done, Chuck will always choose Petra. They kiss; Raf walks in on it; Petra chases after him to explain her paranoia, and how this was exactly what she was worried would happen, and wouldn’t Raf always go back to Jane, if it turned out she had feelings for him? They break it off, and Rafael wanders dazed back into the ballroom, where he explains what happened to Jane as they do a family dance with Matelio.
Jane of course denies that she has any feelings for him, but as they dance, her heart glows so hot it is blinding—so hot that even Xiomara, who should be lost in a fug of love, takes notice. She advises Jane to be honest with Rafael about her thoughts and feelings, and so Jane goes off to do so—but she is stopped halfway there by Krishna, who has an envelope addressed to Jane in Michael’s handwriting, delivered by a guy who lived in Jane’s apartment before the current tenants (and who “is waiting outside”). And so Jane stops where she is to read the love letter Michael wrote to her so many years ago, while two feet away, Petra has also stopped to read the text messages from Rafael expressing his remorse and hope for reconciliation at the place they fell in love also so many years ago. It’s very striking!
As Petra heads out to the docks to find Raf, Jane wanders out to the veranda to thank the guy who brought the letter—and surprise! It is Scott McCall Adam! Her first love! Her first kiss! Her first heartbreak! Waiting there to tantalize us until Season 4!
Also tantalizing? The fact that it *wasn’t* Rafael luring Petra out to the docks, but Anezka, who learned of Petra’s betrayal, which cost Scott his life, and who stole Raf’s phone to seek revenge—at gun point! Rafael, meanwhile, has just been kicked out of his hotel and inheritance, as Anezka handed Luisa the shredded document proving Rafael’s non-Solano parentage, and thus, his fraudulent ownership of the hotel…
NEXT TIME
Jane and Adam, sitting in a tree…
About the Contributor:
Alexis Gunderson is a TV critic and audiobibliophile. A Wyoming expat, she now lives in Maryland, where she runs the DC chapter of the FYA Book Club. She can be found talking about Teen TV on Twitter, and her longform criticism can be found on Authory.
