Dang, when was this show even last on?! Idk what’s been going on in like, the world or whatever, laterly, but it feels like we haven’t seen the (Miami) sun for a minute. Anyway, we’re back! Jane‘s back! VoG is BACK! I’m so happy (about this. just this. just this one single thing)!
Anyway, I’m going to be making these ‘caps short for the rest of the season, leaning heavily on the awards and less on the blow-by-blows, just to make sure I can get them up early and give us all more time to gush and deconstruct in the comments. See you down there!
PREVIOUSLY ON JANE THE VIRGIN
Jane was married to Michael; Rafael was dating Jane’s brand new cousin, Catalina; Catalina was snogging some old dude who showed up at her Marbella suite’s door; Xo was dating her old affair flame and keeping secrets from Jane about it; Petra Anezka was dating Vests Scott; Petra was dating no one because she was in a coma because Anezka was drugging her and no one noticed the change for three whole months; Rogelio was NOT dating Darci, just planning to have a baby with her. On the non-dating front, Luisa broke up with Rose to come back to her family and the Sin Rostro investigation, which Michael did not get medically cleared to rejoin beyond desk duty, Rafael learned that his mother adopted him secretly and thus he isn’t biologically a Solano (bullet dodged imo), and Petra was so righteously furious at being left all alone for so many months that she threatened to blackmail Raf out of his share of the hotel, and only failed due to…ugh, idek, something! But just because she failed, doesn’t mean she’s giving up…
THIS WEEK
The big issue facing Jane this week is whether or not she should give in to her innate inclination to meddle. One person’s meddling is another person’s supportive friendship, though! It’s hard.
The things Jane tries (and fails) to avoid meddling in:
Xo’s relationship with Bruce
She tries to let her mom handle the ups and downs of a public relationship on her own, but quickly misreads the situation when she sees Xo in tears during a heated discussion with Bruce, and accosts him for it. Turns out, Xo was upset that Bruce’s daughter wasn’t warming to her—who had been the Bruce for that family during the affair, whoa—and had given him an ultimatum between her and Xo. Later, Jane meddles again, this time by talking to Tessa directly from inside her own experience as the Tessa on that side of the equation. That meddling is more successful, although Jane does end up having to invest in some mall boutique graphic tees to pad Tessa’s commission in exchange for her goodwill.
Rafael’s relationship with Catalina
When Raf isn’t home to take Mateo because he had to swing by the police station last minute, Jane decides to kill the time by taking Mateo to visit Catalina, and, surprise! Out walks an old French dude in a robe, and DOUBLE SURPRISE! He’s Catalina’s husband. Soon to be ex, Catalina insists, and begs Jane not to tell Raf. Jane agrees, on the condition that Catalina will do it herself, but then after Catalina does come clean, Jane sees her getting into a car with her old French ex and kissing him straight on the mouth, and so brings that news straight to Rafael. Catalina is pissed—she, apparently, DOES kiss “all her friends” like that, and is extra cold to the idea that now she knows where Jane stands (on the side of her child’s father, obviously). Later, Jane drops Mateo off to find Catalina back in Raf’s suite, him giving her a second chance, but Catalina not giving Jane one.
I just super do not care about Catalina. Bye, girl. Bring back Louisa.
Michael’s search for a new career path
Michael can’t stand the feeling of demotion from being stuck (medically) on desk duty, and up an quits, no plan of action in place. Jane makes a real effort to not meddle in his search for a new calling, and while she does succeed in not meddling, that means that Michael works his way through several BAD FITS on his own. Including stand up comedy! It’s not the WORST fit, but definitely not what he should be doing (Brett Dier, though? That’s another question). Eventually Michael lands tentatively on lawyer, as that combines investigation with justice, and Jane is very supportive.
Okay Michael, settle down. Like for real, into a new career path:
Jane isn’t the only one fighting their inner meddle monster this week!
- Xo meddles in Rogelio’s non-love/co-parenting life by sniping at Darci when the two meet for the first time, and needing Alba to step in and remind her that babies have come into the Villanueva family under stranger circumstances, so who’s to say?
- Rogelio meddles into his own non-love/co-parenting life by accidentally falling for Darci and her perfectly chill no-strings attitude, which evidence first, ahem, rises on the first take of his indie film nude scene.
- Raf meddles in Petra’s life by (gag gag GAG) gaslighting her into thinking she is paranoid for suspecting him and Scott of colluding against her, when in reality he and Scott were colluding against her.
- Petra meddles in Raf’s personal hurricane by planting spy cams all over his suite and recording his private meeting with the estate lawyer about the addendum to Emilio’s will Raf found that left his estate only to his biological children, indicating Emilio suspect Raf wasn’t his all along.
AWARDS
THIS WEEK’S MVP(arent)
Obviously the no-drama all glam duo, Rogelio and Darci!
Runner-up: Stepdad Michael, amusing kids of all sizes with his busy bee sock puppet.
BEST TELENOVELA TWIST
Wigs? Back alley meetups? Stealth micro-camera planting? Petra jumped shows! We’ll miss you, Yael, but we know you’ll do great things over at The Americans. We promise to take good care of Anezka, but request that you come back to visit her from time to time.
BEST PRODUCT PLACEMENT
Democracy of the (popular vote) people.
NEXT TIME
Rogelio eats lobster!
About the Contributor:
Alexis Gunderson is a TV critic and audiobibliophile. A Wyoming expat, she now lives in Maryland, where she runs the DC chapter of the FYA Book Club. She can be found talking about Teen TV on Twitter, and her longform criticism can be found on Authory.
