Previously on UnReal, Rachel and Quinn brought in Kirk, Mary’s abusive ex-husband, and then Mary jumped off a roof to her death. Yikes.
I spent all of last week burning with curiosity about the fallout of Mary’s death, and this episode DID NOT DISAPPOINT.
The Rundown
Mary is definitely dead. Rachel, stricken, says, “This is on us. This is our fault.” It’s one of those welcome moments that remind us that Rachel is still a good person, deep down.
Quinn and Chet have to call the network, which leads to my favorite Chet quote of the entire season thus far: “Remember, it’s the network, so keep it upbeat! But also somebody died.” Seriously, Quinn, this is the guy you’re in love with? Brad, the main network dude, shuts down the show until legal figures out what to do, and he plans to be there in the morning with two lawyers. Oh, that’ll make things better!
Shia confesses to Rachel about the swapping out the meds! Holy shizz! I didn’t think she would admit it! Rachel tells her that she has to go to the police with the truth. I think Rachel is also not-so-secretly relieved that Mary’s death isn’t entirely her fault– I mean, I’m just guessing, based on the fact that she yelled, “Kirk didn’t kill her, you did!” at Shia.
After Rachel asks him to share the bad news with the girls, Adam does a stand-up job, and surprisingly, Chet chimes in with words of comfort. “We’re a family, and we are going to get through this together.”
The girls react to the news in different ways. Mia is freaked out (and immediately hugs Adam), Grace is tight-lipped (because she’s seen a lot of death, she says, and deals with it in her own way) and no surprise, Faith wants to pray. Rachel takes Adam’s hand to join the prayer but is quickly pulled away by Quinn on the walkie. She’s with Shia, who just told her the truth about the meds, and Quinn, calm as all get-out, tells Shia that she’s going to fix it for her. Quinn and Rachel face off in an incredibly satisfying scene with Rachel demanding to tell the police, because Mary’s life is worth more than the show, and Quinn refusing to budge, because the lives of the crew (i.e. their jobs) are just as important. I love that the writers manage to make them so deliciously GRAY– they’re both kinda right and kinda wrong. But Quinn nails it when she says, “You just want to clear your conscience to make yourself feel better, but that comes at a very high price.” BOOM.
The network lawyers arrive and grill both Rachel and Quinn about what happened. They’re interrupted by a newsflash on TV– Kirk’s lawyer spills the beans on what happened to the press. Oh snap! He’s totally going to sue the network and probably end up with custody of Lily Bell to boot.
Meanwhile, Jay takes Shia to a hotel room where he basically holds her prisoner. Even her phone isn’t working!!! Damn, that’s some CIA shizz, Quinn.
Jeremy finds Rachel in her “trailer” and comforts her… WITH HIS BODY. HEYO!!!! I was hoping the first time we get to see them do the deed would be a little bit more, uh, extended but I’ll take what I can get. Afterwards, Rachel refers to it as “grief sex,” and Jeremy seems a little hurt by that, which is great. (Because HE STILL LOVES HER.) She wants to give up on the fighting Kirk thing, but he says, “You’re like a force of nature. If anyone can deliver Kirk’s head on a stick, it’s you.” SA-WOON.
Thanks to Jeremy BELIEVING IN HER, Rachel marches into Quinn’s office and insists that they expose Kirk for the abusive dick that he is. “If we’re not gonna tell the truth about Mary,” she says, “let’s at least do one good thing here.” They share a look and GAH I love their relationship. Quinn is IN. They film the girls talking about Kirk and Mary, but when it comes time for Adam’s turn, he won’t do it and lashes out at Rachel. “Screw him, that guy’s a prick,” says Jeremy, who is jealous but also not incorrect, especially because Adam later calls Rachel a monster. Ouch.
Brad gets the toxicology report, which shows that Mary was drunk and not on her meds, and then, to top it off, spies the new footage of the girls. He yells at Quinn and belittles her in front of everyone, and I would not be sad if this dude jumped off a roof, just sayin’. Now Rachel can’t leak the footage to the press, but she refuses to give up, even after Quinn, pouring herself a drink, tells her that she needs a Plan B.
It doesn’t take her too long to find that Plan B– it’s in Mary’s room, in the form of a teddy bear. She rushes back to Chet (who just got done defending Quinn to Brad– dude is earning ALL of the points in this episode) and tells him that she found a note from Mary. Whaaaa?!
Later, Mary’s sister Louise arrives, and Rachel tells her about the note. Louise, afraid of losing Lily Bell to Kirk, wants to read it on camera in the hopes that they can use it to take down Kirk. The lights and cameras are back on! It’s pretty cute to see the host guy all nervous, btw. Louise begins reading the note, in which Mary admits to going off her meds (?!) and inviting Kirk to the set (?!!!!), and it’s a beautiful good-bye to her daughter. The director yells cut, but the emotions are real… even though Louise knows the note was fake WHAT THE WHAT! So Rachel wrote the note! WELL PLAYED, GIRL. After overhearing this exchange between Rachel and Louise, Adam asks Louise if she’s okay with it, and she is 100% okay with it, because she’ll do whatever it takes to keep Lily Bell away from “that monster.” Methinks Adam flinched when she said that word.
Now that the threat of the police and lawsuits is diminished, Jay brings Shia back to the set. She’s mad at him, because he doesn’t want to know what really happened, but then he says something crazy profound: “Secrets, real secrets, do not make people closer.” PREACH.
Brad, confident that the show will continue, kinda makes peace with Quinn. But after she walks off, he turns to Chet and says, “That bitch goes up against me again, she’s fired.” Oh, son, I cannot WAIT for you show up later and get your ass handed to you.
Back in her office, Quinn tells Shia that she’s done. She has no girls left (since Mia quit), and it’s time for her to go home. BYE SHIA. DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT. Then Quinn actually hugs Rachel! Whoa.
Outside, Rachel spots Jeremy and begins to walk towards him. They both have big, goofy smiles on their faces and it’s so cute and RECORD SCRATCH, Lizzie shows up and Jeremy walks away with her. SADNESS.
Switch back to Quinn’s office, where Chet comes in to tell her that Mary’s death made him realize what’s important. Which is why he just left his wife. UGH. She’s pregnant! YOUR CHILD IS IMPORTANT, YOU MORON. Quinn deserves soooo much better. Like that silver fox from the vineyard episode.
After lying in her bed, unable to sleep, Rachel crawls into bed… WITH ADAM! But she’s not looking for action, and she’s not even looking for forgiveness, because when Adam tells her she’s not a monster, she disagrees. Still, he slides over and spoons her, although calling it spooning doesn’t seem accurate, because it’s insanely dramatic and romantic and WHY DID LIFETIME NOT POST A SCREENCAP OF THIS?
This Week’s Wifey
With her solemn admission of a death-filled past, Grace suddenly became more than just a pretty face (and hot bod).
This Week’s Villain
Brad can SUCK IT. No one talks to Quinn like that. NO ONE.
True Love, People
That last scene with Adam and Rachel in bed was pretty epic, but it can’t compete with what Jeremy told Rachel right before they HAD THE SEX:
Jeremy: “When it comes to you, I see more than you think. I see a lot.”
And he said it with those eyes of his and I’m kinda worried about flooding because women around the country just melted into a pool.
Bitch, Plz
Quinn: “We are so supremely screwed right now. I need you to stay strong.”
Quinn’s first comment to Rachel after Mary dies. Of course.
Quinn: “So before you go all Jiminy Cricket on everyone, think about that.”
Quinn to Rachel, who wants to tell the police what really happened with Mary.
Quinn: “She’s worth five crashed Ferraris.”
Quinn about Rachel. DAMN STRAIGHT.
Quinn: “They want the truth like I want pube lice.”
Quinn on the network lawyers.
Quinn, hugging Rachel: “If you ever need to talk.”
Rachel: “Thanks. You know we’re never talking about this again.”
Quinn: “Probably not.”
Burning Questions
- I realize that this is a fictional television show, which means there’s some suspension of disbelief involved, but does anyone else wonder how badly Rachel smells, since she’s living in an equipment trailer?! Like, as Jeremy was furiously kissing her, I couldn’t help but think that she might be a little bit smelly. And then I stopped caring because JEREMY.
- Speaking of, when is he gonna kick Lizzie to the curb?! I’m stuck between wanting him to do it IMMEDIATELY and wanting the writers to stretch it out a bit more. Because I’m a masochist.
- Will Quinn really take Chet back?
- Now that there’s only a few girls left, who do you think will be Adam’s choice?
Next Week
A “Royal Love” spinoff?! Does this mean that Adam has a shot at being in Season 2?!!
Meet me in the comments so we can convo, y’all!
