Fix: Rom-coms that are neither romantic nor funny, wedding sabotage
Platform: Amazon Prime
Amazon Prime Summary
When two weddings are accidentally booked on the same day at the same venue, each bridal party is challenged with preserving their family’s special moment.
FYA Summary
Okay, stick with me here for a minute. You know that scene in Die Hard, when Bruce Willis is crawling through the air duct, and he’s pissed, talking to himself about how this was all supposed to be a few laughs instead of what it is, i.e. a shit show?
That’s exactly how I feel about You’re Cordially Invited.
This was supposed to be a rom-com, y’all! It was supposed to be fun and easy breezy and a little bit silly in a dumb, sweet way. I wasn’t expecting it to be, like, Oscar-worthy; I just wanted to have a few laughs like Bruce Willis! Instead, I ended up struggling through this deeply unfunny, cringe-fest of a movie that doesn’t even deserve to be called mediocre.
Oh, but you still want to know what the movie’s about? Sure. So, Will Ferrell plays Jim, a helicopter dad and widower who is obsessed with his daughter, Jenni; she’s getting married, and while Jim is having trouble handling that, he is also on a mission to give her the best wedding ever at The Palmetto, a charming old hotel on an island along the Georgia coast. But here comes the main plot point: Margot (Reese Witherspoon), a reality TV producer, is intent on her younger sister, Neve (Meredith Hagner) having her dream wedding at the Palmetto, where they spent summers as kids with their grandmother. And wouldn’t you know it, the hotel accidentally double books them!! And there’s only room for one group! Because it’s a small place! What a pickle!
After grudgingly agreeing to share the space, Jim and Margot end up trying to sabotage each other’s weddings in an increasingly petty and straight-up stupid battle that includes but is not limited to: a dock collapse, a cake collision, a Dr. Seuss book being read in its entirety, an accusation of marital cheating, and a live alligator. Fun times! And I mean that sarcastically, obviously!
Familiar Faces
Jimmy Tatro as Dixon; Meredith Hagner as Neve; Reese Witherspoon as Margot
I think the main reason I’m so mad at this movie is because it’s SUCH a waste of a stellar cast. Sure, Reese Witherspoon and Will Ferrell are the main draws, but they’re also (IMO) at a very meh point in their acting careers, and neither of them seem interested in doing any work in this film to change that. I will say in fairness that the script doesn’t give them much to go on, but regardless, they are phoning it in big time, and their lack of chemistry is, perhaps, the funniest thing in this whole mess. (Y’all, when they kiss in the end? I DIED. And not in a good way.)
It’s the rest of the ensemble that really deserves better. Both of the brides (Geraldine Viswanathan as Jenni, Meredith Hagner as Neve) are gifted comic actors who have NOTHING to do beyond reacting to the antics of their father and sister, respectively. I can only hope that Meredith Hagner—whom I’ve loved since Search Party—at least had fun hanging out on set with Jimmy Tatro, who plays her fiancee, Dixon; Tatro stole the show as Troy in Theater Camp (which is a very hard thing to do given the cast of that movie) and gets absolute SQUAT to work with here. Then there’s Fortune Feimster, who has approximately 3 minutes of screen time, and Jack McBrayer, who plays the same character he always plays minus any good lines. The only actor who managed to do something with this dumpster of a script is Celia Weston as Flora, Neve and Margot’s mom. Her Southern drawl-drenched passive aggression is positively DELICIOUS.
Couch-Sharing Capability: That Loud Table at the Reception
Besides alcohol, the only way to improve on this movie is by watching it with people who will roast it HARD. You want catty comments; you want obnoxious snorts; you want mockery so boisterous and immature, it would raise the eyebrows of any elderly person within a 100 feet radius.
Recommended Level of Inebriation: Open Bar
There’s a moment when Reese Witherspoon’s character gets super drunk and tries to give a toast, and god, I wished I was her so badly (I watched this movie at the gym, sober, because I’m an idiot). Could copious amounts of booze make You’re Cordially Invited funnier? Highly unlikely! But it would at least make it a more pleasant experience. Just make sure you don’t take a drink right before that Reese and Will kiss because you will spit-take like an Olympic sport.
Use of Your Streaming Subscription: Annulled
Allow me to pose a daring and dark question: have we, as a society, forgotten that rom-coms can be good? Have we lost so much respect for ourselves as an audience that we’ve lowered our standards to subterranean levels? Because WE DESERVE BETTER, Y’ALL! And we should not have to put up with this dross.
There’s a running gag in the movie involving a reality show (hosted by Bobby Moynihan, yet another tragic waste of talent) called “Is It Dead?” in which contestants guess if an animal is alive or dead. Yeah, I know, such *scathing* commentary on the TV landscape. Anyway, I might not be able to tell you if a sleeping raccoon is alive or dead, but I know one thing for sure: You’re Cordially Invited is DOA.
