Guess what time it is!!!! It’s time for FYA’s Eclipse Drinking Game! Huzzah! For those of you who didn’t go out to see the midnight opening like I did because you were just sitting at home waiting for me to post the official drinking game, YOU’RE WELCOME. Now prepare to enjoy the movie about a thousand times more than your extremely sober neighbor (who, by the way, will probably hate you by the end of the film. But only because you’re having more fun. And, ok, also because you might show a propensity to yell “JORTS!” even if Jacob isn’t actually wearing any).

So print off your very own copy of these very official rules, stuff your pockets with mini bottles of whiskey, vodka sodas and beer, and head on out to your local theatre…

Does anybody else think this was a poor choice for the poster? They all kind of look terrible, even though they’re really pretty Hollywood types. Come on, Summit, you could have done better than that!

Now, without further ado,

The Official FYA Twilight: Eclipse Drinking Game

Take A Drink When:

  • Bella ditches Edward for Jacob, or Jacob for Edward
  • Jacob begins a scene shirtless
  • Jorts appear on screen (Bonus: Yell “JORTS!”)
  • Edward asks Bella to marry him, and she says no
  • Charlie tries to give Bella the sex talk
  • Any actor (coughKristenStewartcough) mumbles so much that you miss the very important dialogue, dammit!
  • Victoria leaps across the river, crossing back and forth between the Cullens’ and the wolf packs’ lands
  • The camera pauses on all the Cullens posed like action figures
  • There’s a flashback! (oh yes, and there are a-plenty!)
  • Jasper flashes his CRAZY EYES
  • Riley looks menacingly over the newborns, or off in the distance, or at the camera in general
  • The first kill during the vampire rumble– Jasper’s flying-leap head-punch!
  • They try to make you care about Bree

Take A Shot:

  • For the tent scene
  • When Bella punches a werewolf in the face (bonus: yell “FACEPUNCH!”)
  • For the ‘third wife’ reference

Chug:

  • As always, whenever any vampire sparkles, until said sparkling is completed

Pour One Out: 
Obviously this is optional, since theaters don’t appreciate your spillage, even when it’s for a good reason. Which this is.

  • For the replacement of jorts with cargo pants
  • For the hideousness of the engagement ring
  • For the faux feminism of Bella’s intent to hyphenate her name

Comrade Cullen says, “Bottoms up!”

Stay tuned for Sarah’s review of this cinematic, um, experience tomorrow!

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Jenny grew up on a steady diet of Piers Anthony, Isaac Asimov and Star Wars novels. She has now expanded her tastes to include television, movies, and YA fiction.