About the Book

Title: Mary Anne Saves the Day (The Baby-Sitters Club #4)
Dawn and the Impossible Three (The Baby-Sitters Club #5)
Kristy’s Big Day (The Baby-Sitters Club #6)
Published: 1987

Kids! Good news! Dad and I know how much you love having a babysitter — you get to stay up later, and watch tons of TV and eat ice cream — and we know it’s been a long time. With the economy the way it is, we just haven’t been able to scrape up the cash or the energy for a night out in a while. But our .005% COLA increase kicked in this month, so we’re going out to celebrate with PBJ sandwiches in the park and leaving you kiddos with a sitter. Yay! Unfortunately, the only ones we could afford are these sanctimonious 12-year-olds who won’t let you watch TV and will make you learn macrame from an activity book in the Kid-Kits they tote around everywhere, but hey, life isn’t fair and the sooner you learn that lesson the better.

Since it’s been so long since we last heard from Kristy and co, here’s a quick refresher of the drinking game rules:

The Official FYA The Baby-Sitters Club Drinking Game

Take a drink when:

  • Stacey’s diabetes is mentioned
  • Kristy calls an emergency meeting
  • Stacey or Claudia call Mary Anne or Kristy babyish
  • Mary Anne cries or blushes
  • Claudia gets candy out of a hiding place in her room
  • Someone describes what Claudia is wearing
  • You want to take Kristy aside and tell her it’s OK to be a lesbian
  • Mimi’s Japanese accent is described as “rolling”, Claudia has “almond eyes” or any variation on the OMG Japanese! theme
  • The babysitters say something pretentious or lame about being babysitters (i.e. “We babysitters have to stick together!” or “That’s because we’re responsible babysitters!”)

Plus these new rules:

  • The other girls talk smack about Claudia’s schoolwork
  • Watson is referred to as a millionaire, having a mansion, or some variation on this theme
  • Dawn eats tofu or some other stereotypical California health food, or whines about the Connecticut weather

Babysitters, GOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Title: Mary Anne Saves the Day (The Baby-Sitters Club #4)
Published: 1987

In which Mary Anne finally stands up for herself, Kristy can’t handle it, and Dawn moves to Stoneybrook

Number of Drinks Taken: 27

The Plot and Narrator’s Subplot:

The babysitters have a massive fight because Kristy steals a good job and unleashes months of pent-up hormonal frustration and they call each other names like “job hog” and “baby”. Then Mary Anne finally snaps and tells everyone to shut up and TELLS THE MOTHER-LOVING TRUTH and storms out. She gets a massive fist pump from me, and it should totally be the end of the book but nooooooo, we have to have 153 more pages and another damn babysitter and hugs. In that 153 pages, Dawn moves to Stoneybrook and Mary Anne decides to make Dawn her new best friend (and finds out her dad used to bang Dawn’s mom in high school). Of course, Kristy feels cockblocked and retaliates by being even bitchier, and Stacey and Claudia don’t care because they’re swanning around in stirrup pants and banana clips, and Mary Anne gets drunk on her power and challenges all her dad’s overprotective rules, stopping just short of getting a tattoo on her ass that reads, “Who’s the baby NOW, bitches?!?!” Oh, yeah, she also saves some kid’s life from fever or something, and her dad and Dawn’s mom start doing it.

The Most Insufferable Babysitter: All of them

Hello, they almost ruined a four-year-old’s birthday party with their squabbling! Jeez, talk about going against the Babysitter’s Code of Conduct.

Claudia’s Best Outfit:

None! I know! I hope this doesn’t happen again, because I live for those outfits. We do get a peek at Mary Anne’s high sartorial aspirations, though.

Mary Anne’s Dream Outfit:

Just once, I’d like to go to school wearing skintight turquoise pants, Stacey’s “island” shirt with the flamingos and toucans all over it, and maybe bright red, high-top sneakers. I’d like to create a sensation.

Baby Mr. T’s Verdict: Not at MY party

One at a time, the girls are ok but I can’t see Mr. T being able to handle his babysitters fighting and pouring red punch all over the table — he still doesn’t always feed himself because he hates getting his fingers sticky.

Title: Dawn and the Impossible Three (The Baby-Sitters Club #5)
Published: 1987

In which a boy is kidnapped while Dawn’s babysitting and she and Kristy exchange longing glances in the hayloft

Number of Drinks Taken: 28

The Plot and Narrator’s Subplot:

Dawn has to babysit three kids who aren’t so bad, but their mom is a disaster. The house is a mess, the kids are always half naked, and she never knows what’s going on. Of course, it’s because of a D-I-V-O-R-C-E, which we know makes mothers do unnatural things like work outside the home and hire babysitters and forget to do the laundry. Dawn also starts hanging out with Kristy in an effort to make Mary Anne happy and there’s lots of lesbian subtext.

The Most Insufferable Babysitter: Dawn

It was going to be Kristy, as yoozh, but Dawn got me with her disparaging remarks about latchkey kids and divorcees.

Claudia’s Best Outfit:

Again, WHAT is wrong with Claudia? Is HER mom not keeping up with the laundry either? There wasn’t a single outfit mentioned.

Bonus Stacey Outfit: Luckily Stacey picked up Claudia’s slack.

She was wearing a simple pink T-shirt under a baggy jumpsuit with big pink and red flowers all over it. Her shiny hair bounced over her shoulders. I was wearing blue jean shorts and a white T-shirt that said GENIUS INSIDE. I looked ordinary next to Stacey.

Dawn, honey, sometimes ordinary is a very good thing to be.

Baby Mr. T’s Verdict: Yep

But I’m not going to take any lectures from her on my housekeeping, thankyouverymuch.

Title: Kristy’s Big Day (The Baby-Sitters Club #6)
Published: 1987

In which Kristy’s mom gets married to Watson, Kristy wears a dress, and the club runs an unlicensed daycare center out of the Thomases’ home.

Number of Drinks Taken: 22, plus 10 more out of boredom

The Plot and Narrator’s Subplot:

Kristy’s going nuts about getting to be a bridesmaid in her mom’s (second) wedding (Emily Post would so not approve), although she’s scared about moving into Watson’s giant mansion (drink!). Her mom suddenly has to move the wedding from September to June — and has to plan and execute the thing in a week! I know this was 1987 and therefore pre-wedding blogs and reality TV, but it was post-Wedding of the Century, so you can bet your ass there’s no WAY she planned a huge 300-guest event in 2 weeks. Even the Oxygen Network plus Martha Stewart couldn’t pull that off. I’m sure Kim Kardashian’s wedding took longer to plan than her marriage lasted. Anyhoozle, all Kristy’s family comes in early to help for the wedding, but they bring all their kids! The horror! So the BSC get together and run a one-week-only daycare for them at Kristy’s house. Kristy’s also a little sad about moving to Watson’s giant mansion (drink! Also, child, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I’ll bet he even has a walk-through outdoor shower on the balcony!). I don’t blame her for not wanting to be related to the horrible Karen — Watson obviously has no idea how to parent because that brat wouldn’t last 10 seconds in my house with her crazy ghost stories and getting kicked off the public playground for inciting kiddie riots. Kristy also waxes poetic about Dawn (“Dawn has the most amazing hair I’ve ever seen. … It’s the color of sunlight or bleached straw. I hope she never cuts it or changes it.”).

The Most Insufferable Babysitter Babysittee: Karen

Not only does this kid NEVER SHUT UP, she yammers on and on about the witch next door, the ghost in the attic, the imminent Martian attack. Great, she has a vivid imagination, but she’s seriously allowed to make fun of the reclusive neighbor (Atticus Finch would so not approve) and scare half the kids on the playground so badly they go home. She needs to be strung up by her thumbs for a few hours. However, Kristy’s brother David Michael wins the most adorable award for giving his mom a goldfish as a wedding present, and Nannie wins the Kickass Gram Award — her car, the Pink Clinker, is a beater she painted pink, then attached flowers to the antenna, but she can kill a misbehaving child with one look.

Claudia’s Best Outfit:

Finally! We can always count on Kristy to provide lots of details about how the other girls look.

She was wearing one of her usual outrageous outfits: a black leotard and skintight red pants under a white shirt that was so big it looked like a lab coat. Claudia’s a wonderful artist and she had decorated the shirt herself, covering it with designs painted in acrylic.

Baby Mr. T’s Verdict: Yep

I think he’d totally be wigged out to be plopped down at the club’s daycare center, but he’d end up having a good time. And $3 an hour is an insane bargain! I had a person apply for a babysitting job with us who said she knew “generally how to take care of children” and she charged $15 an hour! The Baby-Sitters Club would not approve.

Meghan is an erstwhile librarian in exile from Texas. She loves books, cooking and homey things like knitting and vintage cocktails. Although she’s around books all the time, she doesn’t get to read as much as she’d like.