About the Book
-
Author:
- Lorraine Heath
- Genres:
- Adult
- Adult Romance
- Man-Woman Romance
- Voices:
- Cis Boy
- Cis Girl
- Straight
- White (Non-Specified)
Sub-Genres: Identity Swaps, Hidden Identities
What’s Your Type: Banging Your Twin’s Wife After He Dies
It’s once again time to celebrate love with FYA’s annual Grown-Up Guide to Romance! For better or for worse, the romance genre is has been in the news quite a bit the last few years, thanks to the popularity of BookTok and its multifaceted love of fairy smut, enemies-to-lovers, and dark romance. I don’t necessarily agree with recommendations that only tell you what tropes a book contains (there’s way more that goes into what makes a book an enjoyable read), but there’s no denying that sometimes you want to know exactly what you’re getting into before a story begins.
All this month we’re taking a look at some popular romance tropes to get you in the mood, and I have the pleasure of being first up with Identity Swaps in a book with a truly wild premise.
The Earl Takes All (The Hellions of Havisham #2) by Lorraine Heath
Fancy Dress to Fabio:
Julia is in mourning, so it makes sense it’s a demure black dress, and she supposedly does smell like roses all the time, so that’s a nice touch. It’s a good cover for the subject matter, just not very visually interesting to me personally.
The Deal
As soon as I heard about the bonkers premise of this book, I knew I needed to read it. Albert, Earl of Greyling, is dead, but no one knows except his twin brother, Edward. Edward, whom everyone in England thinks was the one killed by a gorilla (!?!) during the twin brothers’ African safari…which they think because when Edward came home he pretended to BE Albert.
Except you can’t blame Edward, because it was a totally altruistic move, requested by the dying Albert, who asked his twin to take over his life so Albert’s pregnant widow wouldn’t miscarry for a fourth time because of her grief. Edward vows to himself he’ll tell Julia the truth once she has the baby–except all this would be way easier if he hadn’t been harboring secret feelings for his dead brother’s wife ever since he met her…
The Leading Woman: Wary Widow
Julia can clearly tell there’s something “off” about her husband, and she’s worried he’s a) deep in his grief and b) thinks she’s hideous because she’s pregnant. She also can’t get over how much more rugged and manly “Albert” seems after a few months away. I liked Julia, how she realized how much she liked getting to be independent when Albert was away (she could do whatever she damn well pleased every day; imagine that!) and her little rebellions against being a “proper” wife, like when she’d whisper dirty things in Albert’s deaf ear when they were being naughty (except little does she know Edward’s hearing is perfect!).
The Leading Man: Fictitious Fraud
If I could nitpick, I’d say there’s probably still some line Edward could have found between barely looking his brother’s widow in the eye and sleeping practically naked in her bed when asked because she misses their closeness, but I suppose I shouldn’t be trying to read romance novels for realism. Edward is another in a long line of quickly reformed rakes who turn into smokeshow husbands and doting fathers with the love of a good woman, but at least he had a fairly compelling reason to change quickly after watching his brother get mauled to death.
I had to question why the author decided to include this one moment when Edward and his friends (who know what he’s doing) are reminiscing about their teen years, and he mentions he slept with this farmer’s daughter who “only liked novices”, so he pretended to be his twin and went back to her twice. Like, this guy is already over here tricking this woman into thinking he’s her husband…are you trying to make me hate him?
Risque Ranking: 6
Edward can’t resist a kiss–or, as mentioned, an R-rated cuddle–here and there, but he tries his hardest to resist sleeping with Julia until he realizes it could just be easier to never tell her the truth and keep his brother’s life as his own. I was wondering how his real identity was going to come out (no way it was going to be as simple as him just TELLING the truth, lololol) and I was VERY curious if it was going to be, like, she can tell them apart by their ding-dongs, but the way it happened was also pretty good!
Ms. Perky’s Prize for Purplest Prose
He kissed the underside of one breast, then the other, before giving the same attention to each of her ribs, climbing down her body inch by marvelous inch. He circled his tongue around her navel, pushed himself down farther until her thighs were resting on his shoulders, his hands cupping her backside.
“What are you—”
“Shh.” He lifted his heated gaze to hers. “I want to worship all of you.”
Was it Good For You?
If you decide to read this book, please choose to take a shot every time the characters bring up how Albert died. HE WAS MAULED BY A GORILLA. All because he was playing with a cute baby gorilla whose mama was not about to let this rich yuppie come in and steal her kiddo!! Edward can’t even talk about it much (for many reasons but also) because it keeps being mentioned that it was an excruciatingly painful death and he’s traumatized. And no one in the book was like, “HOLY SHIT, what a fucked up way to die!!” they just act like Albert fell out of the boat on the way home or something. Am I to believe this just happened more often in ye olden days, as rich idiots went about their safari vacations, where it was commonplace to be nibbled on by a giraffe or batted about by a lion? INQUIRING MINDS.
Ahem. The entire execution of this storyline played out a bit more seriously than I was expecting, and, honestly, I could’ve used even more drama; really have them just lean into the absurdity. Putting aside that expectation, the story was fine, and won’t be extremely memorable except for the obvious exception.
Further Reading on IDENTITY SWAPS:
Kandis Recommends:
Until You (Westmoreland Saga #3) by Judith McNaught
Sheridan Bromleigh had spent most of her early life as a happy vagabond with her unruly American father and his vagrant friends. Then, given over to the care of a strict maiden aunt, she was taught to be a lady—poor but genteel—and finally a teacher. When she was hired to act as chaperone to a pretty but spoilt heiress travelling to England to join an aristocratic fiance, Sheridan was delighted. Now, at last, she could visit her family’s country. But somehow everything went wrong.
For Miss Charise Lancaster, not over-gifted with intelligence, eloped with a stranger before she could meet her suitor. And Sheridan was left with the horrid task of telling Lord Burleton she had somehow misplaced his bride. As she gazed at the tall, confident man before her, her courage failed. She was doubly shocked when she heard his news. Lord Burleton, a drunkard and a wastrel, had been killed the night before. At which point fate took over. Sheridan was knocked unconscious on the quayside, and recovered to find herself in the handsome stranger’s care, not knowing who she was.
It was to be the beginning of a dazzling, witty, dramatic, and romantic sequence of events in which every possible confusion was to take place.
Never Judge a Lady By Her Cover (The Rules of Scoundrels #4) by Sarah MacLean
By day, she is Lady Georgiana, sister to a Duke, ruined before her first season in the worst kind of scandal. But the truth is far more shocking—in London’s darkest corners, she is Chase, the mysterious, unknown founder of the city’s most legendary gaming hell. For years, her double identity has gone undiscovered… until now.
Brilliant, driven, handsome-as-sin Duncan West is intrigued by the beautiful, ruined woman who is somehow connected to a world of darkness and sin. He knows she is more than she seems and he vows to uncover all of Georgiana’s secrets, laying bare her past, threatening her present, and risking all she holds dear… including her heart.
The Switch by Sandra Brown
It isn’t the first time that identical twins Gillian and Melina Lloyd have switched identities. Yet it’s the first time as adults that they’ve even considered the childhood prank. Melina, the more impetuous twin, proposes that her circumspect sister take her place as a media escort to NASA astronaut and national hero Colonel Christopher “Chief” Hart.
Although it’s an enticing offer, Gillian declines for a very personal reason — she’s preoccupied with whether or not the artificial insemination she underwent that day will be successful. Besides, she warns Melina, such a switch could have unexpected consequences.
Media-savvy Chief turns out to be an easy assignment for Melina — in fact the evening with him is as much pleasure as business. But the following morning police arrive at Melina’s door with the worst possible news: her beloved twin has been brutally murdered in her own bed. And on the walls, scrawled in blood, are obscenities directed at Gillian, along with insults toward Native Americans that indisputably link Chief to the crime.
Dissatisfied with the official police investigation, Chief and Melina form a grudging alliance, strike out on their own … and find themselves uncovering more questions than answers. Mistrusting even the authorities claiming to protect them, on the run with their lives in danger, the two are soon following a crooked and bloody trail that inexplicably leads to Gillian’s attempt to conceive a child … and to the threshold of an inner sanctum, where a megalomaniac hatches horrific schemes and lies in wait for Gillian’s replacement, her identical twin — Melina.
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Thank you for reading this one so I don’t have to! Now I know all about the Gorilla Twins without actually having to tackle the book myself. Considering the shenanigans colonizing Brits on a jaunt used to get up to, I think I’m on Team Gorilla.
Seriously, team Gorilla here as well.