Number of Times Mom Would Have TOTALLY Made Me Stop Watching: 2
It’s time to raise our swords to the King of the North and talk about last night’s Game of Thrones! (I’ve added a BRIEF synopsis, just to let you know the bare bones of what happened in each episode.)
Now, as someone who has not read the series, specifically because I love not knowing what’s going to happen next on the show — even though it KILLS me — I was surprised when a friend of mine said that she thinks that Jon Snow was not, in fact, Ned Stark’s bastard son. Usually I’m the one who comes up with ideas like that, but I’ve totally bought into Jon Snow’s purported lineage. Furthermore, my friend thinks that Jon Snow is, in fact, Robert Baratheon’s eldest bastard, and rightly, the heir to the throne! I have no idea if she’s right, and I don’t want anyone who knows the truth to spoil it, but THIS IDEA BLEW MY MIND.
Theon Greyjoy chooses the father who gave him to Ned Stark over Our Robb, even though he should be too embarrassed about feeling up his sister to stay on the Iron Islands. Jon Snow has some bruises, but is otherwise physically unhurt. However, he doesn’t like the fact that the evil old Wildling dude sacrifices his baby sons to, presumably, the White Walkers. Sam gave Gilly a thimble. Tyrion figured out which of the three power players on the council he could trust — surprisingly it was Littlefinger and Varys, but not Grand Master Pycelle — and gets his lady friend a job as Sansa’s maid. Caitlin Stark visited Renly Baratheon to rally him to Our Robb’s side. Meanwhile Renly gets a kickass new lady knight, and his wife is okay with him being gay. Arya and Gendry’s group are attacked by Joffrey’s men, but get a momentary reprieve — thanks to Arya’s quick thinking — when one of the boys killed in the attack is identified as Gendry, due to the fact that he stole Gendry’s bull helmet.
I’m SO glad Jon Snow is okay. I worry about him so much. I wish I could just… hug him, and give him some soup, because it’s got to be so cold up there, north of The Wall, so I bet he’d like some soup. And I don’t like Theon Greyjoy’s family. They’re mean and weird, and I feel very disappointed in him for not going back to Robb. The Starks treated him better than his own family! I’m SO glad Arya saved Gendry! She’s so smart and cool, I wish I was more like her. If I could be in any part of the story, I think I’d like to be Arya’s friend she meets on the road, and we could journey together and have adventures, and be just like sisters! (Because I know even though Arya loves her, she’s got to be disappointed at having Sansa for a sister, you know?)
Number of Times Mom Would Have TOTALLY Made Me Stop Watching: 2. Even though King Renly and that lady are married, she still probably wouldn’t let me watch it. And, don’t tell, but I thought it was pretty funny when Tyrion went back and gave that other lady a second coin for having been with Grand Master Pycelle.
Tyrion is in the (King’s Landing) house, sussing out the council! The man is SO badass! I didn’t think it was possible for me to love him more after the first season, but he is on fire. Renly, however, needs to get his shit together and join Our Robb, because he’s wasting time. Despite the title, this is not a game, Renly! I DO love the introduction of Brienne, Renly’s new lady knight. That chick is formidable. LOVED seeing Chris from “Skins”/Gendry sword fighting. Just love every scene he’s in, even when he’s just standing there, glancing sideways at Arya. Those two are just so fucking fantastic. They could join Tyrion and have their own show. But ugh! The whole Greyjoy lot need to die. Attacking villages along the coast in the North while Our Robb is fighting the real battle? Assholes. Oh, and before we go feeling TOO bad for Sansa, she reminds us what a little shit she is.
When Tyrion and his man bust up in on Grand Master Pycelle after he fell for Tyrion’s wedding ploy. Tyrion keeps tearing. it. up. Though the runner up would be when Renly’s wife Margaery pretty much tells him that he can do whatever he likes sexually, so long as he puts a baby in her belly.