Dang, y’all, a lot of shizz happened in the last few days! Wills and Kate got married and kissed (TWICE OMG), Bin Laden was found and killed, and, most important of all, DISNEY’S PROM CAME OUT!!!!
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Sarah, plz. It’s a Disney movie full of clichés. How could it be good?” To which I would respond, “HA HA HA. You thought that I thought this movie would be GOOD? Surely you jest! Because obvs I thought it was better than good, it was AWESOME.” And then you’d probably stop reading this site, because you’d never be able to trust my taste again. And THEN I’d call you and explain the difference between good (high quality) and awesome (fun, even if or maybe because it’s bad). And then we’d make up over champ cans and awkward prom stories, because our friendship can withstand anything!
So, dear friend, grab your corsage, cue up “Lady in Red,” and prepare for the most magical night review of your life.
Before we get into the intricacies of my review, let’s take a look at the trailer, which sums up some but not all of the YA stereotypes in this film. Also, I just really like an excuse to gaze upon the foxy face of Thomas McDonell.
THOMAS MCDONELL YOU’RE A FIIIIIIREWORK! EXPLODING WITH YOUR SEEEEEXINESS!
Ok, so obviously the biggest thing I enjoyed about Prom was the smokin’ hotness of Thomas McDonell, who plays Jesse Richter, the Mysterious Loner Dude, with an overwhelming amount of snarky smoldering and an adequate amount of acting ability. I’m not saying he’s the new Tim Riggins (AS IF), but I guarantee that you’ll see him show up in a lot more of my casting calls.
I now interrupt this review for a quick trip to THE GUN SHOW.
Damn you, Disney, for not giving that tank top a reason to make like a tree and LEAVE.
Ok, now that we’re back from the show (I’LL RETURN SOON), I’d like to explain the other reason I enjoyed this movie. It’s obvious that Disney was extremely dedicated to including every single high school cliché that has been successful in other teen movies, and I had a blast both keeping track of them and being totally manipulated by them.
Check out this glorious list of stereotypes:
1. Goody Two Shoes
Aimee Teegarden as Nova
Aimee Teegarden was basically Julie from Friday Night Lights in this movie, which meant I spent half the time thinking she was super adorable and half the time wishing I could smack her in the face.
2. Mysterious Loner Dude (MLD)
Thomas McDonell as Jesse
SA-WOON.
3. Stoner Dude
Joe Adler as Rolo
Sure, he was no Travis, but Joe Adler was still pretty cute as Rolo, the resident stoner weirdo.
4. Nice Guy/Nerd
There was not one but TWO in this movie! Bonus!
Nicholas Braun as Lloyd
Nicholas Braun was predictably adorable and awkward. They even named him Lloyd!
Nolan Sotillo as Lucas
Ok, HOW CUTE IS NOLAN SOTILLO?!! His little face is so precious!!! I’m gonna cast the SHIZZ out of this sweetie, because he’s actually a teenager. And also because I want to hug him so bad!!!
5. Jock
DeVaughn Nixon as Tyler
6. Gorgeous Unattainable Girl
Danielle Campbell as Simone
Y’all, Danielle Campbell is only 15 years old! WHAT! I know! I am so casting her every time I need a pretty girl.
7. Music Nerd/Freak
Cameron Monaghan as Corey
Cameron Monaghan was totally That Guy who always argued with you in high school about whether the Beatles were overrated, except Disney-fied, so he had more freckles and was too much.
And that’s just the CHARACTERS, you guys. Let’s keep going with the deliciously clichéd plot points:
8. Peppy pop rock opening credits
9. Goodie Two Shoes (GTS) falls for MLD
10. Tender Father/Daughter moment
11. Nerd falls for Gorgeous Unattainable Girl
12. Dress shopping montage
This one was almost a straight rip-off of the time on FNL when Riggins takes Becky to the dress shop. And it was almost as great.
13. Cover of “Alright” by SuperGrass
14. Tough Guy hanging out with cute little kid
15. Boy climbing a tree to talk to girl through her window
16. Weirdo ends up with Insanely Hot Girl
17. High school hallway running montage
JUST LIKE IN THE BREAKFAST CLUB. It was eerie.
As you can see, that’s a SHIZZLOAD of super fun YA clichés, all packed into one movie. In fact, the only thing that was new to me was the idea that nowadays, asking someone to prom is the equivalent, in both intensity and showmanship, to asking someone to marry you. Seriously, is this a real thing now? Cos when I was in high school, it was enough to have someone say, “Will you go to prom with me?” That’s all it took, folks. In this movie, a guy has to spend months planning an elaborate scenario with, like, candles and airplane banners, otherwise it’s obvious that HE SUCKS.
The second weirdest thing about this movie is all of the time people spend staring at a very simple poster of hanging stars just because it says PROM. Come on, guys, the graphic design isn’t THAT great.
Besides those two minor points, I enjoyed the crap out of this movie. It’s fun, fluffy YA, and if it asked me to the prom, I would TOTES say yes. But only if we can go to the Macaroni Grill* beforehand.
*Before watching this movie, Jenny, our friend Erica, and I actually did eat at the Olive Garden. Because we are ALL about being appropriate. And the best part? We saw three teens dressed for prom!!! It’s good to know that Olive Garden hasn’t lost its fancy luster for suburban high schoolers.
