Hulu Summary:
The horrors of modern dating seen through one young woman’s defiant battle to survive her new boyfriend’s unusual appetites.
FYA Summary:
Noa is sick and tired of shitty dating-app dates and being lonely. After a particularly annoying date, she’s thinking of swearing off dating forever, but don’t they all say that’s exactly when love will find you?! And so it does, right there in the produce section of the grocery store, in the form of charismatic and cheesy Steve. He says all the right things, and they have an amazing few days together. So when he impulsively asks her to go away with him for the weekend, Noa is totes down. She does all the right things, like showing her BFF, Mollie, a pic of Steve and telling her exactly where they’re going…except they never make it there.
Look, I know the previews are being purposefully vague and cheeky, but we all know what’s going on here. STEVE IS A CANNIBAL. He is like Blaine DeBeers from from iZombie but just a totally evil human. You judge your stomach’s sensitivity to the subject matter and plan accordingly.
Familiar Faces:
I feel like Daisy is one of those actresses who are about to blow up, but currently I’ve seen none of her other work. (She stars in an adult fiction adaptation, Where the Crawdads Sing, coming out soon!) I can see why she’s getting some buzz, because she does have something that draws your eye to her. The scene when she wakes up and realizes that Steve has chained her to a wall, and the range of emotions she quickly goes through, was almost uncomfortable to watch because it felt so real.
Join me in a rousing, “Fuck Steve!” (And then apologize to my dear husband, Steve, and tell him it’s not him; he’s great.) I’m still casually into my “Sebastian Stan is pretty” moment, which has extended from last March’s Marvel rewatch, and yes, I will admit I watched this sooner rather than later simply for him. But, uh, he’s very creepy here. Like, almost too good at switching from quietly confident and goofy to casually kidnapping and cutting people up for parts.
I haven’t seen Jojo in anything before either, but let’s give a shout-out to Mollie for being such a BAMF friend! We all should be so lucky to have a Mollie (although hopefully we’ll be a better friend than Noa, who needs all the help, lol).
(Also peep Brett Dier (AKA Michael from Jane the Virgin) giving a truly inspiring douche-date cameo.)
Couch-Sharing Capability: Dealer’s Choice
I feel like a companion would be helpful if you’re a yells-at-the-TV kinda person, but you’ll need to pick the right one depending on the kind of commiseration you’re looking for. Someone to coax you through the squeamish parts? Someone to make cynical statements about love and dating in the modern age? Someone who likes to discuss the artistic directorial choices?
Recommended Level of Inebriation: A Nice Chianti
I mean, the joke was RIGHT THERE. #noragrets
But seriously though, don’t plan on eating Italian like right before or after watching this movie. Just…trust me.
Use of Your Streaming Subscription: Women Supporting Women
I’ve gone to the movie theater exactly twice in the last 2+ years now, and even in the before times I wouldn’t have shelled out $13+ to go see this, but it’s the perfect little indie movie that streaming services were made for. There were some great performances from all the actors and moments of sisterhood that will make you want to hug your besties. Yes, there was some body horror, but it was also refreshing to see a psychological horror movie from a female perspective (both the writer and director are women); it just hit differently. I really liked the stylistic choices the director made while shooting certain scenes with unusual angles or lighting, and there were some subtle homages to some other indie darlings (I’m blanking on more examples right now, but there was a dance scene that felt like a nod to Ex Machina). Do I feel like it revolutionized the genre or provided groundbreaking commentary on the dating scene? Eh. But if you need something unique to watch that sends a little shiver down your spine, go for it.
I’m not lying when I say that my biggest fears are heights and cannibals. So I think I will pass on this. It sounds so scary!
Yeeeeeah, then this definitely isn’t the movie for you!