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Welcome back, Panther fans! Last week, Kandis asked me if I’m Team Tyra or Team Landry in this messy breakup. I feel bad for them both. Tyra’s just trying to keep the friendship alive, while Landry’s determined to interpret every sign of affection as proof that they’re still dating. But he pushed too hard (in part due to some David-after-the-Dentist hijinks), so I can’t blame her for finally making herself terribly clear that she does not want to be with Landry romantically.
What I can blame her for, however, is wanting to be with Chase. Previously on FNL, this bad-news (drink!) rodeo cowboy caught Tyra’s eye, Matt’s mom started pitching in with Grandma Saracen, the Brothers Riggins stole some copper wire to sell later, Coach decided to start both J.D. and Matt as alternating QB1s, and we all finished our drinks because SMASH IS GOING TO COLLEGE, BABY!!!
Time to refill those empty glasses:
The Official FYA Friday Night Lights Season 3 Drinking Game
Drink once every time:
You want to give Matt Saracen a hug
Tami Taylor drinks a glass of wine
Tami Taylor says “y’all”
Landry Clarke goes off on a tangent
You’re Team Tyra Collette
Buddy Garrity makes you roll your eyes
You think, “It’s JUST football, people.”
Gracie appears in a scene
You want to punch Joe McCoy in the face
Grandma Saracen gets riled up
Billy and Mindy are too much but you love ‘em anyway
You tear up
Drink twice every time:
The Panthers score a touchdown
Tim and/or Billy Riggins makes poor choices
There’s a classic Coach Taylor pep talk
You think, “Cash is bad news.”
Devin is the shit
Take a shot every time you hear:
“Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose!”
“Texas Forever.”
Finish your drink when:
Hands slap the Panther “P”
Smash gets into college
On to the episode!
3.05 “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”
Coach took a gamble with his alternating quarterback strategy, and it doesn’t quite pan out. The Panthers still beat McNulty High, but barely, and though Saracen gets the game-winning play, it’s only after McCoy brings them to the goal line. Everyone celebrates except Matt, who slinks away – then later, the assistant coaches tell Coach that he needs to be honest with his quarterback. J.D.’s a better player, and he’s the one who will take the Panthers to the playoffs. Coach stops by Matt’s house to break the news, made extra-awkward by Grandma Saracen’s typical Coach-related exuberance, and poor Matt is deeply crushed. He tries to quit the team but Coach won’t let (?) him, so he says he’ll sit on the bench and hate every moment instead – and tells Coach that he’ll hate it, too. Then he stalks out of the locker room, tossing a “Good talk, Coach,” over his shoulder. It’s not NOT hot, tbh.
Also in Saracen land: his mom’s got her hands full trying to keep Grandma Saracen happy, but she’s doing her best. She tells Matt that the local hair salon has a chair open, and she’s interested in renting it, so she can stay in Dillon and help out till he graduates. He’s too pissed about his QB2 status to respond nicely, but later he confides in her, and they share a lovely moment.
At long, LONG last, Street is back! He and Erin are trying to make the co-parenting thing work, and Jason’s wonderful with new-to-us baby Noah. He wants Erin and Noah to move in with him (and Herc? Whose porn collection is strewn about so vigorously that Jason has to clean it up *every time* the baby comes over?), but she’s too overwhelmed with work to consider it. He tells her he’ll find some extra income to make her life easier, and later decides to go in with Herc and the Riggins boys to buy Buddy Garrity’s old house, fix it up and flip it within 30 days. Thanks to Chekhov’s copper wire, they have enough money to make an offer, but when Buddy sees Tim’s name, among others, on the paperwork, he balks. “The house can rot into the ground before I sell it to this clown car of idiots,” Buddy eloquently declares, but no one beats Street in eloquence this episode. He shows up at Buddy’s office and gives him the hard sell, wisely using football nostalgia to clinch the deal. Later, as the boys are discussing renovations to their new investment, Erin shows up and tearfully tells Jason she’s moving back East to be near her parents so they can help with Noah. He tries to tell her the house is their golden ticket, but she’s not having it. Tim overhears, but Jason lies and tells him she’s excited about the prospect of the house flip.
And finally, Tyra’s skipping class and letting her grades slip to spend time with Cash, and I’m sorry I just do not find this man life-ruining levels of attractive. But Tyra’s head over heels, making out with him in the parking lot in front of poor Landry and mouthing off to Tami after she wisely expresses concern. Eventually Tyra apologizes to Tami and thanks her for caring, but says she’s wrong about Cash – he’s a good person, because he showed her a newborn horse? Compelling, yes, but he also keeps popping pain pills and interrupting her college momentum!
How many times do I have to take a drink?
14
Did the Panthers win?
They squeaked one out, but it was, as we say, an ugly win.
MVP of the Week
I gotta give it to Jason. He’s doing everything right by Erin and Noah, wrangles that clown car filled with idiots, and then gives the speech of his lifetime to Buddy Garrity. Also he got a haircut, and my man is looking FRESH.
Most Basic Play of the Week
Julie gets an ankle tattoo of a heart and a rose, bringing us the plotline behind this episode’s title. I’m really not sure how she managed to do that, since she’s not 18 (I don’t think?) and Texas tattoo parlors are pretty strict about needing parental approval before tattooing a minor, which Julie certainly did NOT have. Coach and Tami flip their lids, Julie’s a giant brat about it, but after talking with Tyra and realizing how much more stressful her daughter’s rebellion could be, Tami has a great talk with Julie about her own high school misbehavior, and they make up so sweetly.
Best Taylor Couple Moment
They overloaded on amazing couple moments last week and don’t share a ton of scenes this week, but their typical “Coach Blustery; Tami Reasonable” approach to Julie’s tattoo is always fun to watch.
Tim Riggins’ Finest Moment
He is SO funny in this episode. He’s at Lyla’s house overhearing a conversation Buddy’s having with his realtor, which is how he knows about the house-flipping opportunity. He hears Buddy say about the recession, “When all the scared rats are leaving a sinking market, that’s when a real entrepreneur steps in. A true visionary.” Tim is obviously moved by this speech, because he then later repeats it, verbatim, TWICE: once to convince Jason and Herc to get on board, and then later to convince Billy. Jason and Herc look impressed the first time they hear it from Tim, but the second time, they share the most hilarious look. Give all three of these men more comedy to do!
The Taylor Advice of the Week
On the drive to force Julie to get her tattoo removed, Tami realizes she’s not handling this correctly. So she’s honest about having been a wild child herself, extracts an earnest promise from Julie that she’s not going down a dangerous road, and then tells her they don’t have to get the tattoo removed after all. When Julie celebrates, Tami shrugs, “Honey, I guarantee you that by the time you’re 30, you’re going to take that thing off yourself. And I’m not gonna pay for it then.”
Post-Game Breakdown
This is one of only two episodes directed by FNL creator Jason Katims! He did a very nice job. Also, there are multiple recession references in this episode, which is lots of fun for modern viewers, seeing how far we’ve come! lol jk it’s all so much worse now.
Meet Sarah here next week as she covers 3.06 “It Ain’t Easy Being J.D. McCoy” – my question for her, and for y’all in the comments, is how do you feel about J.D.? I can’t help but root for the kid! His dad’s a monster and he just seems to want to be friends with a very unwilling Matt.
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Lol I loved Tami’s ending zinger on the tattoo situation. Sometimes silly we need them to freak out before getting the calm, reasonable approach at the end, but I did love that scene between them.
Yes, the turn towards comedy for the group of guys is much needed and quite fun to watch. Tim is so much better used like this in this season than brooding about his guilt and sleeping with Lyla behind Jason’s back.
The porn strewn about comment – LOL, so true. Like, Herc, keep it in your room, buddy, sheesh!
It does feel a bit weird that Tyra is so into Cash especially after so much hard work she’s done for college, and, like, you can’t tell me in that small town you’ve never encountered someone who abuses prescription pills and the dangers of that. Come ON, Tyra.
– It’s hard for me to take Tami’s shock at this MAN in a truck seriously when 1) age of consent is just a suggestion in Dillon, and 2) the actor is actually 2 years younger than Adrianne Palicki.
– Why is Guy Raston one of the very few Season 2 things that have been acknowledged and brought back?!? And truly, how has he not killed the Rigginses by now, holy shit.
– Between his two great quotes — Buddy Garrity: the poet laureate of Dillon??
– I still don’t feel particularly moved by JD, probably because we’ve seen him interact with other teens ONCE (when he caught Matt and Julie making fun of him at the BBQ). I feel bad for having Joe as a father obvs, but he really doesn’t have any personality yet, other than having zero life outside of football (which is still having no personality lol).
– HARD agree on Tim being hilarious in this episode. It does feel like the writers finally realized this season that Tim’s character has *range* and that includes being funny.
– Tami’s line about Julie’s tattoo when she’s 30, soooo good.
– Is it bad to think that Noah is SO much cuter than baby Gracie?
– I do find Cash extremely hot (that whole cowboy thing) but yeah, the pill popping?! Tyra should know better. Then again, she’s a teenage girl whose last relationship was extremely serious and with a boy who was (sorry Landry) inexperienced in the bedroom.