Drinks Taken: 18
Cups of Coffee: 7
Read the “Winter” recap here.
Okay, so “Spring” felt a little bumpier than “Winter,” filled with a little more dead air, but it’s still a charmer. I’m most impressed with the way the revival is bringing to light all sorts of important issues left unresolved since the series ended. I like that Emily, Lorelai and Rory all feel like they’ve grown and evolved, as they should have in the years since we last saw them, but thanks to unemployment, the loss of Richard, and Lorelai’s discontentment with the Dragonfly since Sookie left, some of their old skeletons are rising to the surface again. Let’s keep digging.
The Gilmore Girls Drinking Game Rules
Drink once every time:
Lorelai or Rory drinks coffee.
Emily gets flustered by Lorelai’s bizarre sense of humor.
Sookie is controlling about food.
Paris is controlling about anything.
Michel snubs a customer.
Luke is crotchety.
Taylor has an absurd scheme for Stars Hollow.
The girls acquire massive amounts of food and then fail to take even one bite.
Drink twice every time:
Kirk has a new job.
You see a town troubadour.
Emily gets a new maid.
Poor Rory’s doing her best here. Although I’m not crazy about the fact that she and Logan are sneaking around and being unfaithful to their partners for each other (I guess
whatshisname Paul still exists? I forgot.), and I’m even less crazy about the fact that she asked a certain titan of industry and nightmare person to call in a favor for her at Conde Nast, it really feels like she’s hustling without getting much of a break. The book proposal fell through with Naomi, largely because Naomi is an insane person and a prodigious drunk, and it’s looking like Rory’s best option is a job at SandeeSays, what seems to be a female-centric pop culture blog for which Rory feels overqualified. As I’m currently writing this on a female-centric pop culture blog, you can guess how much sympathy I have for her there – especially when she shows up to the interview radiating displeasure and seems offended that the CEO, Sandee herself, wants Rory to recommend herself with a few new ideas. She does bombast her way into writing a piece on lines – like, people standing in them – for GQ, but it’s on spec and she doesn’t really have an angle there. Hey, at least she slept with a Wookiee and found her lucky outfit! Of course, her lucky outfit washes her out and she slept with a Wookiee. I’m glad she told Lorelai about Logan, and I admire Lorelai for being relatively non-judgmental at the news, when I would be terribly tempted to point out that RORY KEEPS MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES. That said, Rory doesn’t really need to hear that she’s a mess right now, and her damn near perfect mom knows it. Still, seriously girl: break up with whathisname Paul.
Lorelai’s looking pretty good in comparison, even though she’s lying to Luke about therapy and spiraling at the prospect of losing Michel from The Dragonfly. Can you imagine Season One Lorelai being upset at the prospect of losing Michel? “He’s always had my back.” Aww. That doesn’t feel quite true, but it’s a nice sentiment. Therapy’s going pretty poorly with Emily (are we going to find out what the deal is with that birthday letter?) – so poorly, in fact, that Emily quits on her. Although they do get some nice laughs in first! Lorelai decides to keep it up on her own, because even though she and Luke have been together “steadily for nine years,” she worries her mom’s right when Emily says they aren’t truly committed. And, of course, she’s missing her father terribly, and hating that she missed out on a Hallmark moment with him before he passed. Poor Lorelai. I’m still mad at that stunt you pulled at Richard’s funeral, however.
Emily’s found her latest purpose, now that therapy’s a wash: she’s taking the money Richard left for Luke and insisting Luke use it to franchise his diner. Though this is typically imperious Emily behavior and doesn’t necessarily seem like what Luke wants, it bothers me that Lorelai just assumes it isn’t. Maybe ask your partner of nine years how he feels about this amazing opportunity? Emily also wants Luke to form his own will so Lorelai won’t be stuck holding the bag years from now. Emily’s always looking out for Lorelai, whether or not Lorelai will ever realize it.
I planned to keep the main segment of these recaps to discussing the three generations of Gilmore women, but dammit, Paris Geller deserves her own paragraph. Paris Geller deserves her own book. She’s also spiraling in the wake of her divorce from Doyle (nice seeing you, Doyle! Congrats on all the volcanic sex), and a trip to Chilton is pretty much the last thing she needs right now. But it’s the first thing Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life needed, because that’s the best scene this revival has had yet. In between terrorizing old teachers, auditing Headmaster Charleston’s “john” for evidence of fiduciary fraud and quoting Stalin to a group of paralyzed freshmen, Paris continues her reign as Gilmore Girls‘ MVP.
How many times did I have to drink?
How many cups of coffee did the Gilmore girls drink?
What’s up with Stars Hollow this season?
They’re hosting an around-the-world cuisine festival, holding a traditionally chaotic town meeting and yearning after a gay pride parade, but they’re just too short on gays, gosh darn it. Maybe they can borrow some from Woodbury? Or maybe, as Gypsy asks, Taylor has something he’d like to share here?
THERE’S A NEW FILM BY KIRK. It is about the (fictional, no worries) death of Petal the pig, and it is ASTONISHING. Also, he and Lulu have had some crazy times on the “love couch” of the Black-White-Read theater. Also, well, there’s this.
Maury’s wearing a “Film By Kirk” shirt. How supportive!
He’s fretting The Dragonfly has peaked and will never play host to Jennifer Lawrence. “What’s the point of living if we’re never going to bag Jennifer Lawrence.”
Lorelai’s craziest outfit
This sparkly pageboy hat has GOT TO GO, Gilmore. Other Gilmore: change nothing. You look like Audrey Hepburn.
Jackson, Mrs. Kim, the real Paul Anka.
Very best cameos
Mae Whitman and Sasha from Bunheads (Julia Goldani Telles) is Sandee!
Tristin, Francie the Puff.
Very worst cameo
Ugh. Hello, Mr. Huntzberger.
Luke’s best line
“I know exactly how that pig feels.”
Lorelai’s best line
About Wookiee’s, “They have that very deep laugh.”
Most surprising news
Lorelai’s never had a one-night stand.
The truest thing anybody said this season
Lorelai, to Rory, “Life has been pretty good to you so far. It’s about time life threw you a few curveballs.” Time to buck up, Lorelai the Third.