Drinking Game Tally: 21 drinks, 1 shot, 2 chugs
‘90s Fashion Award: Angela
My So-Called Winner: Camille
My So-Called Losers: Rayanne and Jordan
Brian Krakow vs. Jordan Catalano: Jordan
Happy Friday, FYAland! It’s time for another edition of My So-Called Life Lessons, in which we learn important things about high school and life and flannel shirts!
The title of today’s episode is rather ominous, and I can only hope that the betrayal in this episode stays high school sized, and not cheating-on-your-wife-with-your-new-business-partner-sized. Ahem. Graham, I’m looking at you. I have faith in you, man.
Angela is thinking about Jordan Catalano, and how he’s taken over her life, but actually, how now she’s so OVER him! So she dances to ‘Blister in the Sun’ to celebrate! Yay! A great way to celebrate anything!
Rayanne auditions for the school play, Our Town, and we can tell Mr. Katimsky is impressed. In what I assume is yearbook class, or whatever they call it, Brian Krakow gets a (Stalker Point -1) for videoing Sharon’s boobs. Then, out in the hall, Angela flirts with some 34-year old high school student (who I think went on to play a demon in Buffy, but am too lazy to look up on IMDB) about set painting, just to prove how OVER Jordan Catalano she is. Jordan acts mopey as he watches.
At the Chase’s house, Patty is pounding the meat (hamburger — for meatlof, I presume.) and Graham is gun-shy about answering the phone to avoid that Horseface Hallie. Turns out the meat’s for stuffed peppers.
Brian videos people in the local bar where teens are all smuggling alcohol in under their coats — namely Rayanne and Jordan — who get drunk and talk about Angela. And Jordan obviously still likes Angela, but then, because he’s a teenage boy and she’s a teenage girl, they start making out. And THEN they get into his car, presumably to DO IT, and Brian is FILMING the whole thing! (Dumb Point -1) (Stalker Point -2) YOU GUYS! That is the worst! Rayanne and Jordan are SO going to be this week’s losers! What a shitty thing to do to your friend! Lucky for them I’m so old and judgmental and dismissive and chalk it all up to being dumb teenagers.
The next day at school Rayanne ignores Angela, due to her extreme case of guilt, (when Rayanne, you should really feel guilty about what you’re doing to Sharon, because I don’t want you to hurt your future chances with her) while Angela, having no idea what fuckery went down the night before, makes plans to paint sets with the 34-year old future demon. Jordan asks Rayanne when she’ll find out about the play, and they both claim headaches and that they were SO effed up last night. Riiiiight.
Horseface Hallie shows up at the house to meet Graham, but he’s not there. She proceeds to flirt with Graham over the phone in front of Patty’s friend, and Patty tells her they should all hang out — as in, Graham hasn’t told Patty that Hallie broke up with her fianc.
Sharon asks Brian for the video, and he tells her he can’t give it to her because of the evidence of fuckery it contains. Sharon immediately goes into the girl’s bathroom, and starts fretting over whether she should or should not tell Angela about said fuckery, and OH NO, I did not see THAT coming (said with extreme sarcasm) Angela overhears everything.
At the set painting, Angela jokes around with Rickie about how jealous of Rayanne Sharon is to make up something so ridiculous as Rayanne DOING IT with Jordan Catalano in his car. Poor Rickie has to stop painting the set and step into the role of messenger.
At Brian Krakow’s house, he is lying on his bed listening to his walkman — ah, ’90s nostalgia — shirtless, when Angela walks in, and they are both embarrassed. I don’t really understand why Angela is embarrassed, though. Anyway, Angela wants that tape. Badly. But then Brian tells her she doesn’t REALLY want to see what’s on it, so she leaves without it.
Gym class proves to be awkward, as Rayanne and Angela aren’t speaking, but ALMOST get paired up over the vault. Then Rayanne goes after Sharon in the bathroom, asking her if she’s proud of herself and all, now that she’s destroyed Rayanne’s friendship with Angela. Sharon stands up for herself, and you can see the sadness in her eyes. Oh, Rayanne, don’t you see? You belong with her!!!!
Hallie joins Graham in a bar, and brings Chinese, WHICH SHE CHEWS WITH HER MOUTH OPEN, talking the entire time. Okay, I have been warned about her chewing, but this is truly disgusting. They are kind of fighting, and I don’t get it. Is this some kind of weird flirting technique?
Rayanne stops by to visit Angela, but ends of talking to Patty about the whole fuckery in the back of the car thing. Rayanne seems real shook up about the whole thing, and in some of the worst acting the show’s ever seen, expresses her sadness. Sort of. She does make a good point that Angela DID say she was over Jordan, except we all (Rayanne included) knew that was a load of poo.
Jordan walks down the hall toward Brian, who has a spazz attack and destroys the video tape in front of him. Jordan, however, just wanted to cancel tutoring for the afternoon. Rayanne tries to talk to Rickie, but he’s not having it, and in some of the best acting the show’s ever seen, asks her what did she expect, actually, hmmm?
Rickie finds Angela in the bathroom, and you guys, she just wants to be alone! For, like, years! She can’t BELIEVE the fuckery! Rickie gives her stellar advice about not letting the stupid actions of others control you, but Angela hears something else entirely.
Rayanne finds out she got the lead in the play, but she has no one to share her news with. Patty’s friend Camille tries to warn Patty about Horseface Hallie, but Patty tries not to believe her.
Jordan Catalano tries to talk to Angela over returning a pen, but they kind of argue. Sort of. It’s weird.
Brian Krakow is describing his filming style as Tarantino-like, and Angela comes in, having single white femaled Rayanne, and tries to get a drink and simultaneously molest the 34-year old future demon. Rayanne then pulls her aside and makes it all about herself, because Angela only lost a bad friend and a douchey ex-boyfriend, while Rayanne lost a really good friend! LIfe is so unfair! Then Rickie tells Angela that how she feels is just how HE feels about Angela going after the 34-year old future demon, because Rickie had liked him first.
Patty and Graham talk about Rayanne and Angela’s situation, and we find out that Patty did the same thing to HER best friend in high school. Burn. Then Graham complains about Horseface Hallie — about all of her lateness and stuff, but NOT about the talking with her mouth full of food, which would be first on my list, for sure. You can see the concern on Patty’s face, but she pushes her fears aside to get some pre-emptive revenge, by flushing the toilet so he’ll be scalded in the shower.
During the play rehearsal, Mr. Katimsky gives Angela and Rayanne a life lesson through his interpretation of Our Town. Rayanne turns her performance up to an ELEVEN, and even Angela gets a tear up in her eye and a quiver in her lip.
Drinking Game Tally: 21 drinks, 1 shot, 2 chugs
’90s Fashion Award
Angela wins for wearing two different plaid flannel shirts over a purple ringer tee with paisley leggings and boots! Although I realize I kind of still dress like this.
Lessons I Learned About High School
Classes begin, and they end. Sometimes teachers give a minute of inspiring speeches. But mostly, you just hang out in the hallway and bathrooms.
My So-Called Winner
Patty’s BFF Camille! Bish knows an ass from an elbow, and I bet she’d tell that Horseface Hallie to ‘shut yo’mouth!’
My So-Called Loser
Rayanne and Jordan Catalano! For being stupid teenagers!
Brian Krakow vs. Jordan Catalano
The points say Jordan wins, and I have to agree with them. Even though I didn’t approve of Jordan’s behavior with Rayanne, what’s worse than a kid who’s always making bad choices? The kid who’s jealous of that kid and rats him out to win points. Nobody likes a snitch, Brian Krakow.
Life Lessons Learned
NEVER talk with your mouth full. GAH.