A burlesque dancer stands on stage in front of a lit up star


Title: Burlesque: Heart of the Glitter Tribe
Released: 2017

Fix: Oh My God Everything Is So Sparkly, Living Vicariously
Platforms: Hoopla

Official Summary:

This revealing documentary probes the onstage personas of Portland, Oregon burlesque performers who practice wildly different art forms.

[I see what you did there.]

FYA Summary:

Oh, burlesque (and not the delightfully awful Cher/Christina Aguilera movie of the same name). There’s so much glitter! So many rhinestones! So many jiggling body parts! This documentary follows the careers, exploits, and outrageous fake eyelashes of twelve Portland burlesque stars. Join us, won’t you, and learn about this new wave of the classic art of seduction.

Familiar Faces:

Unless you’re big into the Portland burlesque scene, you won’t recognize any of these performers.

Couch-Sharing Capability: Heh Heh Heh, Boobies

You expect it, I’d hope, but I’m obligated to note there are plenty of bare body parts in this flick. (Tastefully yet barely covered, of course.) If you’re going to gather your friends or family around ye olde couch for a group showing, make sure they’re the type that aren’t offended by boobs and butts everywhere. (There is one performer who is out to be as religiously offensive as possible, and she succeeds—but her segment is very short.)

On the other hand, this is the perfect opportunity to start brainstorming your group’s own burlesque acts—although I’m not sure you’re going to top the lady who dresses up as a sexy burrito. You might argue that burritos are already sexy enough, being filled with meat and cheese and sour cream and guac (is it hot in here?)…but you’d be lacking in imagination, as I was, too. It’s as if Peak “Sexy” Halloween Costume fell into a vat of rhinestones, and came out dancing. (I love it.)

You can also discuss the surprising lack of body diversity (there are no plus-sized performers, even though every single show I’ve been to in real life, including in Portland, has featured at least one), although there is plenty of racial and gender diversity.

But mostly, sexy burrito.

Recommended Level of Inebriation: Giant Martini Glass (For Bathing)

Dita von Teese is an inspiration to us all.

This documentary reminded me of how much I have always wanted a giant martini glass in which to sit, clad in rhinestones and glitter, and splash around (with a somewhat smaller glass for drinking). If you can’t swing one of those, at least get an Amy Schumer-as-Tami-Taylor-sized glass of wine.

Use of Your Streaming Subscription: It’s 3am And You’re Not Going Back To Sleep Anyway

Glitter Tribe is great for insomnia and crafting, when you want to pretend that you’re not alone in the soul-crushing silence, but you don’t actually want to pay that much attention. (What, just me?) If you can manage to fight off the urge to cover everything you own in rhinestones (there’s a lot of attention paid to the handmade costumes—be still, my heart!), this is a good option. If you can’t fight off that urge, invite me over.

With all that said, I really want to know what your sexy food costume and routine would be.