Title: The School for Vampires (Die Schule der Kleinen Vampire)
Released: 2006

Fix: Cartoons, Vampires, Brushing Up On Your German
Platforms: Not currently streaming at this time in the US (2022)

Official Summary:

Oskar, a young vampire who’s afraid of blood and has a crush on a mortal girl, causes mischief with his friends at a school for vampires run by the mysterious Count Alarich.

FYA Summary:

Oskar is the world’s worst vampire. He faints at the sight of blood and he really doesn’t have that whole “menacing” thing down, much to his uncle’s dismay. Still, with his group of immortal friends, and Sunshine, the human girl he’s crushing on, eternal life manages to be fairly tolerable…even when Sunshine’s grandfather, a vampire hunter, has his sights set on Oskar.

This adorable cartoon is available in German, Italian, and English–the perfect way to brush up on your language skills!

Not-So-Familiar Faces:


Well-meaning, but really needs to get a handle on this blood thing.


She’s got her shit together, and obviously possesses the best sense of style out of the whole group.


The unabashed troublemaker of the group.


Eternity stuck in a sailor suit? That’s rough.


Ashley is a sentient pile of–you guessed it–ash, although he once was a vampire. He spends a fair amount of time in an hourglass.


The girl of Oskar’s dreams. She’s sassier than Bella Swan, that’s for sure, and she doesn’t hesitate to reality-check her obsessive grandfather whenever necessary.

Couch-Sharing Capability: You Don’t Need Kids As An Excuse To Watch, But It Could Help

Like cartoons? Like vampires? Want to brush up on your German/Italian, or perhaps encourage your children to learn another language? This is a silly-but-adorable cartoon that I find about 600% less annoying than cartoons in English (although it can be watched in English, too–I just prefer watching tiny German vampires and pretending I don’t need the subtitles). Sure, use your kids as an excuse to watch, but any cartoon with a sentient pile of cremains has a more-subversive-than-usual flair going on.

Recommended Level of Inebriation:  Depends

Are you watching this with small children who haven’t left you alone to pee in peace for what seems like eons? Drink up, Mom and Dad! Otherwise, if you’re using it to try and brush up on a foreign language, you’ll probably want to be sober.

Use of Your Streaming Subscription: Happy Halloween!

This is one of those shows that I probably never would have come across if not for Netflix–but when browsing one night, figured, “I like school…I like vampires…let me give it a try!” It might be just the light-hearted, pre-Halloween mood-setter that you’ve been looking for. Ich hoffe, dass Sie wie die Karikatur!