Title: Outlander S2.E04 “La Dame Blanche”
Released: 2016
Series:  Outlander

Kilt Drops: 1

Previously on Outlander: Claire learned that Jack Randall was still alive. Jamie and Claire secretly plotted against the Stuart rebellion. Claire’s new friend Master Raymond is known to be a purveyor of poisons. Jamie hired a pickpocket to steal Prince Charles’ correspondence.

Claire and Jamie disagree on potential baby names, as her choices are too English, and his are too Scottish. While Jamie plays chess with Minister Duvernay, Claire is quite obviously poisoned by the Comte St. Germain while at Versailles. Luckily, it was only bitter cascara. (And luckily, the show opted out of the vivid and humiliating way the incident occurs in the book.) Claire confronts Master Raymond, but he denies knowing who purchased the cascara. Raymond shows her his secret back room, where he uses animal bones to divine Frank’s future for her. He cannot see Frank’s fate, but assures Claire that she’ll see him again, which is understandably surprising. Raymond also gives Claire a necklace for protection. It changes color in the presence of poison.

Louise confesses to Claire that she’s pregnant, but not by her husband. Claire agrees to provide  herbal assistance to take care of the issue. But then she successfully persuades Louise that the result could be fatal to her, and that the solution may be to sleep with her husband, and pass of the child off as his.

The Frasers decide to host a dinner for the Duke of Sandringham and Prince Charles to meet, in an effort to expose Charles as “the delusional popinjay that he is.” When Charles Stuart shows up unceremoniously in the middle of the night, Claire realizes that he’s the one Louise has been having an affair with, and that they should invite Louise and her husband too! Claire realizes that he’ll find out anyway at the party, so it’s finally time to tell Jamie that Jack Randall is still alive. His ecstatic reaction is unexpected, but it turns out he’s super pumped that he didn’t miss out on Randall’s death the first time, and will look forward to having his bloodthirsty revenge.

Claire gets held up at the hospital on the night of the dinner party, and while walking home in the dark, they’re attacked by masked men. Murtagh is knocked out, and Mary is raped. Once the attackers see Claire’s face, they retreat, crossing themselves, yelling about “La Dame Blanche”. They bring Mary back to the Fraser house and stash her in a guest room, while Claire goes down to help host the political chess match that is their dinner party. In the midst of the dinner, a drugged up, and traumatized Mary awakes screaming, and her uncle jumps to assumption that the Frasers are responsible for her ruination, and a brawl ensues.

Kilt Drops: 1

  • Bare Jamie arse! I don’t blame you a bit if you paused your television for an indecently long time. Sadly, the sexy times are briefly ruined when Claire discovers a bite mark on his thigh, which is followed by a discussion about soixante-neuf. Not helping, Jamie. They have a huge fight over how Jamie has barely touched Claire in months, but recovered his libido, while in a brothel. He bares his soul over his remaining vulnerability, and they’re able to uh… reconnect.

Wit and Wordplay

Louise: “You mean sleep with my husband? But my lover would be furious!”

Louise has a fascinating moral compass.

Prince Charles: “God is forever testing me, placing obstacles in my path. I’ve overcome every one of them, I’ll overcome this one too.”

Do you hear that, God? Prince Charles will not be be deterred by cuckolded husbands, or biting monkeys.

Duke of Sandringham: “We’re acquainted.”

Could the Duke of Sandringham be a bigger ass for pointing out that Jamie knows Alex Randall’s brother? Yes, he can. Because he also took it upon himself to invite the Comte St. Germain.


  • In Master Raymond’s secret room, he has a collection of strange artifacts. He confesses to being fascinated by things that are “not of this time”. Hmm. Sounds like a description of someone we know.

  • Wee Fergus is the only one to notice that Mary Hawkins is engaged to the dreaded Vicomte, but is wearing perfume, and tear stains, and is obviously in love with another. It’s no wonder that Fergus is also the only one who really knows how to enjoy a dinner party.

  • Claire’s newest friend is fellow hospital volunteer, the King’s Executioner. Now that seems like a useful friend to have.

Next week: Jamie owes Claire a life!


Kandis (she/her) is a proud member of the Austin FYA book club chapter who loves vampires, romance novels, live tweeting CW shows, and Jonah Griggs. She’s not like a regular mom. She’s a cool mom.