Title: Outlander S3.E06 “A. Malcolm”
Released: 2017
Series:  Outlander

Kilt Drops: 3

Previously on OutlanderClaire prepares to go back to the 18th century. Brianna copes with her new normal. Roger is adorable.

Well, was that enough boinking for you? Because that was a lot of boinking.

I’ll be honest: I didn’t like this episode, and whether you know what happens next, or you just picked up on that Ned Gowan legal consultation reference, or maybe you just know that Jamie’s shady print shop and smuggling ring can lead to no good, it cast a pall over the reunion. Also, I am highly allergic to awkward scenes, and there is nothing more awkward than reuniting with your ex for the first time.

So let’s catch up!

It turns out that Jamie’s print shop, which prints seditious materials, is also a front for a smuggling ring. (Does this man have a death wish? Does he like prison and beatings?) Well, nothing can go wrong there.

The tearful reunion between the lovers is sweet, although interrupted by Jamie’s be-goitered employee Geordie, who quits when he sees them making out. Then they start catching up on the last twenty years: photographs of Brianna, a portrait of Willie, whether Claire left Frank. Jamie realizes he’s late for a meeting, so he takes Claire along with him.

On the way, they run into a grown Fergus (OMG HE IS SO CUTE), who greets Claire happily (they too get to catch up—hey, dude, what happened to your hand?) and privately, vaguely questions Jamie about a mysterious legal matter pertaining to Claire’s reappearance that will require Ned Gowan’s services. Oh, Claire, something is up.

Jamie’s business takes him to a tavern, where he’s threatened, and then a brothel, where he’s fawned over. (Understandable.) He rents a room there, which earns him some serious Claire side-eye—but it’s okay, the madam is a customer of his! Ah, how romantic.

Then the boinking begins, and there’s a lot of it. The first time is awkward and the deed itself is hurried, the second and third times are much sexier. (I understand why they’re letting the hot people stay hot instead of aging them, but it is pretty hilarious to watch Claire talk about the ravages of time while she’s as perky-boobed as ever.)

After all is said and they both have been thoroughly done, Jamie has more business to attend to outside the brothel. This time, while he’s gone, she meets little Ian, her nephew, and also some of the prostitutes, who mistake her for one of their own. As soon as she goes back upstairs, however, she discovers a man has broken into Jamie’s room—and when he finds out that she’s his wife, he threatens to rape her. We can’t have nice things, can we?

Kilt Drops: 3

God, that first one was awkward. And you’re telling me that Claire, as a surgeon, doesn’t know when a nose has been broken?

Wit and Wordplay

Geordie: “I quit! I’m Free Church. Working for a Papist is one thing,, but working for an immoral papist is another.  Do what you like with your own soul, man, but if it’s come to orgies in the shop, it’s come too far. Oh, God’s tooth. It’s not even noon.”

Claire: “You’ve grown into such a handsome young man!”

Fergus: “Aye, I have.”


  • I know they’re all googly-eyed over each other, but how does Claire not sense that Jamie’s not telling her the full truth? Does she need a neon sign?

  • Are the photographs going to lead to another witch trial? And why bring the bikini photo of someone’s DAUGHTER to an era where showing a little ankle makes you a hussy?

  • How weird would it be to have some strange lady be all, “Oh hi, Jamie’s not around. I’m your aunt Claire?”

  • The kilts were nice, but I’m also into this breeches-and-tricorn-hat combo.

  • I…kind of miss Brianna and Roger.

Next episode: Looks like that seditious print shop is going to get Jamie into trouble already.