Platform: CW Seed
Drinks Taken: 15
Shooting has commenced on “Private Dick,” the official title of Ryan’s Veronica Mars spinoff, and Jason isn’t too pleased, since he thought the show would be called “Ace and The Joker.” In fact, he’s so dismayed to find that the show isn’t a buddy formula at all – and that Logan is relegated to boring expository lines, clapping enthusiastically at Dick’s dance scenes, and volleyball games where he’s the only one wearing a shirt – that he quits. For about a minute, then makes it to his car and realizes that he can’t do that to his “brother.” After all, they’ve been through war together! I mean, not actual war, but, like, acting war, which is almost as hard.
So Jason heads back to the production to find that Ryan has already replaced him with his dance choreographer of last week, Gaston! Gaston is TERRIBLE (and it’s true, all of Logan’s lines are exhaustively expositional), but so is everything else about this ridiculous show, so it works. Logan’s not the only character to be recast – today’s scene takes place at Duncan Kane’s funeral, which features – with no explanation – framed pictures of Ryan Devlin, who played Mercer the rapist in Season 3. This is hilarious to me. Even more hilarious? Duncan’s funeral was preceded by his being EATEN BY A GREAT WHITE SHARK. The funeral is attended by grieving babes in bikinis and Weevil, who gives a long, eloquent eulogy in keeping with Frances Capra’s wishes. But who will give Weevil’s eulogy? Because that’s right – he’s been murdered! And way worse, Ryan’s sunglasses are missing!
OH and we learn what Casablancas’ Law is: “Every action has an equal and opposite Dick action.”
A reminder of our drinking game rules:
The Official FYA Play It Again, Dick Drinking Game
Drink once every time:
Dick does a backflip.
Dick or Logan is shirtless.
The name “Dick” is used in a way that could also mean penis.
Drink twice every time:
Someone says “Veronica Mars.”
A hearty and respectable 15 rules this week!
And finally, our most meta moment – Jason, detailing his many complaints with Ryan’s script:
Jason: “Page 3, you roll up on a motorcycle but you have my mom drop me off. Logan’s mom is DEAD, man. Did you ever watch the show?”
Ryan: “Whoa, of course I watched the show. I mean, all the scenes I was in, of course.”