Platform: CW Seed
Drinks Taken: 15
Finally! My beloved Cliff McCormack shows up, as Daran Norris gives a warm talking head interview about how he’d always jump to do a passion project, especially as one as special as this, for a dear friend. Of course then we pull back to see Ryan Hansen feeding him the lines, and Norris finally storms out after calling Ryan a “fuzzy little prick.” Oh, Cliff – I hope that’s not all we see of you!
Spoiler alert: well, it’s not all we hear of him.
We jump into the in-show episode where Dick is still investigating the deaths of Weevil and Keith, as his voiceover tells us “All I wanted was a nice weekend of sun and fun at my buddy’s funeral.” IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? He finally calls Veronica for help, and Kristen Bell returns for a quick shoot-out with Madison Sinclair, but at the last minute (after some slo-mo that just involves the actors moving very slowly), Wallace shows up and shoots Madison dead! “Recognize, bitch.” I guess Wallace Fennel didn’t do any of that pussy shit, after all.
We also see Percy Daggs’ rando skeeze again – she’s got a role in “Private Dick” as – you guessed it! – a rando skeeze. Rando Skeeze is played here by Rose McIver, from Rob Thomas’ upcoming iZombie, which means we’ve got two iZombie leads in the mix. By the way, I feel like you need to know that Private Investigator Dick Casablancas has sex with his gun holster on. Of course he does.
And finally, the handsome badass who played Clarence Wiedman on Veronica Mars, Christopher B. Duncan, shows up, and he talks about how he’s played presidents and detectives and was on Walker Texas Ranger, and this is just a job like any other. “Show up, collect my check and leave.” Until he hears that there is no check – then he just leaves.
A reminder of our drinking game rules:
The Official FYA Play It Again, Dick Drinking Game
Drink once every time:
Dick does a backflip.
Dick or Logan is shirtless.
The name “Dick” is used in a way that could also mean penis.
Drink twice every time:
Someone says “Veronica Mars.”
15 rules this week!
And finally, our most meta moment of the episode. Dick speaks a little Spanish with a decent, if showy, accent, and then tells us that he hired a dialogue coach for his “Mexican lines” because he thinks it’s really important to respect other cultures portrayed on television. Cue super racist gong music as he enters a kitchen to engage in some shoddy martial arts with an Asian chef for no reason! Where’s the meta part, you ask? Well, that’s where Daran Norris comes in! Norris, a highly respected voice actor IRL, dubs all of the lines for the chef. (Hilariously so, of course, because Norris can’t do anything un-hilariously.)
Meet us back here next week for the final chapter in this epic saga!