Today’s high temperature is 97 degrees. I shouldn’t complain, really, since 97 is pretty tame for Texas in August, but CAN’T IT BE FALL NOW? I demand it! The Munchkin and I were discussing our dream of making our little back patio something someone might want to sit on, and so I want it to be cooler so I can put out plants and some chairs and maybe some lights or something. COME ON WEATHER, I WANT MY APPLE CIDER.
I’m not the only one completely sick of summer, right? Can’t it go somewhere else? Australia, maybe?
Alright, let’s check in with our Liars and see what they’re up to. There are only two more episodes left after this one! What’s going to happen??
Once again, Aria is upset with Fitz over Maggie-of-the-uterus-for-sale. She thinks the fact that Fitz allowed Maggie to go away shows that he sucks as a person. Normally I’d agree, cause I hate Fitz, but if I were Maggie and my boyfriend’s rich mom paid me to get an abortion and then ditch town and I took her up on the offer . . . I wouldn’t want to see my boyfriend after that. Too much drama.
In other Aria news, she meets Zach, the cute coffee shop owner who’s currently wooing Holly Marie Combs, Child Bride. I’m inclined to like Zach, because he smuggled a split of Prosecco onto school grounds in order to have a picnic with HMC, CB. We find out that Zach is ten years younger than Holly Marie Combs, Child Bride, which I think puts him exactly at the same age as Fitz, ha ha ha. Because I think I remember hearing that HMC, CB had Aria when she was 18 or 19, so that’d make HMC, CB, what? 35? 36 maybe? Which would make Zach 26 which would actually make him YOUNGER than Fitz by a year or so. HA HA HA. I love you, Montgomery women. Except when you dress like gay, color-blind pirates.
Emily and Hanna
Emily and Hanna’s stories are mostly intertwined this week, which is nice, because I like watching those two play off each other. Sans Hanna, however, Em has some relationship entanglements in the form of Paige and Hot Nate.
Paige can’t swim in the County Meet because she has a C in one of her classes, so Emily asks her to come over and watch a movie with her. Which is sweet, since Paige is a potential rapist and all. But! Before Paige gets there, Hot Nate shows up. And he says his usual suspicious things before macking on Ems hard-core. She sort of hard-core macks back. Em, you have the WORST taste in stalkers! Paige, of course, sees this, runs away and is cold and bitter to Emily the next day. Emily, just claim you were really drunk! And you don’t remember what happened! Paige will have to see that it’s totally rational for someone to make out with you in that state!
Romance aside, Hanna finds a note from Maya on her front porch!! It had been wedged under some lawn furniture that Prozzie Mom wanted moved. It asked Emily to meet her (Maya) the night of her death!! Well, no, that’s not what the letter said. It wasn’t all, “Dear Ems, Please meet me at The Only Restaurant in Rosewood tonight, the night of my death. Please be sure to show up before I die. Love, Maya.”
This letter spurs Emily and Hanna – but mostly Hanna – to go over Maya’s website again, looking for clues. Hanna starts printing out some of the stills and they realize that in one of Maya’s little videos, she’s standing in pyjamas in front of Noel Kahn’s cabin! Bwah?? They go look for clues!
Which is kinda dumb! Girls! STOP LOOKING FOR CLUES. It just gets you in trouble. And since it seems like the Kahns’ have themselves quite the video surveillance, this is just going to bite your ass.
The girls find a secret room in the cabin, in which is a little bed palatte and one of Maya’s overnight bags! She must have been staying there! Because she still has her unused greyhound ticket! She never went to San Fran! She stayed in Rosewood the whole time! Plus she was carrying a fairly nice knife, with the initials J L on them. Hmm, who do we know with those initials. Jenna .. . . I can’t think of her last name. Or maybe Hot Nate’s real initials are JL instead of HN. As Emily and Hanna are exploring, the doors start shutting, the light goes, they can’t get any cell reception, terror, terror, terror, n’est-ce pas? Upon trying to escape, Hanna legit stabs herself in the leg with the knife, and once they finally climb out, they see a note from A spray-painted on the side of the cabin: “I’m saving you for later.” Ooooh.
Hanna refuses to go to a hospital so Emily calls Wren to come over to the Kitchen of Carbs and Cash to stitch up Hanna’s leg. Then he cooks a meal for her and is otherwise charming. Maybe Wren, Zach and Fitz can go get a spin-off where they recount their adventures in dating women not their age. “How I Met Your Mother, Before She Got Out of High School,” they could call it. Or something like that.
Spencer is doing a lot of suspicious lurking around Noel, who is being his typically jerky self. She breaks into his gym locker to look at his phone, and can’t find any emails to or from Maya. Hmm. But Noel, of course, figures out that she broke in, so he sends her an email with a video attached . . .
A surveillance video from his cabin! On the night that Maya died! The coroner reports state that Maya died sometime between 10 pm and 2 am on the night of April 23rd. Spencer starts watching the video and Maya shows up! On a bike! At 10:04! Which is weird, since the eye witness that saw Maya and Garrett claims he saw them at 9 pm. Then, a few hours later, Noel shows up! With Jenna! Who is either still blind or at least pretending to be blind with Noel. They go inside to the cabin. That’s around 1:14 am. Then Maya comes back out from the back of the cabin!! And is making to leave when she is grabbed and pulled into the trees, just off range of the camera! Could this be the killer?! If so, it’s not Noel, Jenna or Garrett, as Garrett was arrested at around midnight that night. This whole timeline’s confusing. I need to go back and watch the Season 2 finale. They had their rundown with Mona after Garrett was arrested, right? But before Maya was found? Earlier this year it seemed like Maya had been in Emily’s yard for a while before being found, but her body was recovered the same night that they were at the mercy of A. Oh, I’m so confused.
Anyway, who could possibly be the killer? We have two weeks to find out!
Son of Gloved McEvilson is hanging up his identical black hoodies and watching Wheel of Fortune. So, A is totally my grandma, right?
Thoughts? Questions? Comments? Who killed Maya? Who is A? Do you think they’re the same person or are the Liars on sort of a wild goose chase with Maya’s killer. (For instance, I can see Hot Nate killing Maya, but not being A.) More is being placed on the idea of “letting the guys in” when it comes to the search for A – will Toby, Fitz and Caleb all start playing an active part? And just how scared are we that Paige is going to end up viciously knifing people to death? Sound off below!