WHOA. Stuff actually happened in this episode. A lot of stuff! So much stuff! Let’s just do a full run-down, shall we?
Aria is maybe still pregnant, but if she is, that fetus is going to have PROBLEMS. Because right now she’s totally sick. She’s got the flu and everything fades in and out for her. And she’s still sipping Meredith’s “herbal tea” which we all know is chock full of drugs. Aria’s parents aren’t around to take care of her (Mike is at Holly Marie Combs’, Child Bride, apartment, and I guess they can’t make their way over to visit Aria?) so the girls are over to cheer her up with ginger ale and Saved By The Bell DVDs. Bless Hanna.
Meanwhile, Toby and Mona are listening to angry music and planning their next A moves whilst modeling the latest in Black Hoodie fashion. Toby wonders if they aren’t rushing things too much, but Mona says that she isn’t the one calling the shots.
Credits. Necromancy. Family show!
Emily is hanging out at Toby’s super swank apartment and he is grilling her “subtly” about A. She sticks to the party line, that A was done when Mona was locked up. Apparently there are plumbers coming over to install something at Toby’s apartment, and Emily’s going to babysit his apartment while they’re there. He leaves Em his keys, and she calls Spencer to say that the plan is on.
Caleb is in The Kitchen of Carbs and Cash while Hanna tries on outfits for a job interview with “the hottest designer in Philly.” Well, that’s certainly something, Hanna. I presume the Chanel suits and pearl necklaces will be cleverly paired with Eagles starter jackets. Do they still make starter jackets? They banned them in my high school, because I guess you could smuggle weapons in them. But you could also smuggle your muffin top in them!
When Hanna steps out of the kitchen, Caleb calls someone to say that he’s “in” and that he “won’t let her hurt Hanna anymore.” Hanna overhears and grills him, but Caleb lies and says he was talking to his mom.
Shirtless Toby! A Shirtless Toby sighting! It’s not as much fun, now that he’s evil, but even evil doesn’t lessen those abs. Apparently it’s Spencer and Toby’s first anniversary but Spencer can’t celebrate because she has to go to this awards dinner for her dad. Ma Hastings comes in and doesn’t seem to be as swoony over the wet, shirtless Toby as the rest of us. But! It’s really all a ruse! Because Spencer is going to surprise Toby with homemade lasagna (apparently a family recipe) and has roped Emily and her mom into helping her with the surprise. Oh, there is just no way this is going to end well.
Aria’s House of Woodland Delights. Aria’s fading in and out from sleep and Jodie Sawyer (aka Meredith) comes over to check on her/feed her more of the “herbal tea”/try to find the diary pages. Don’t trust her, Aria! Jodie Sawyer is just using you to perfect her turnout!
Emily and Paige are having a picnic lunch at school but Hanna interrupts them. Hanna wants Emily to follow Caleb after school to see what he’s up to. She’d do it if it meant spying on Paige! Hanna has the oddest tenants for friendship, but she is definitely the best friend any of these girls have.
At school, Jodie Sawyer tracks down Holly Marie Combs, Child Bride, and tells her that Aria is feeling much better. Poor Holly Marie Combs. She tries to call Aria, but Jodie Sawyer has stolen her phone!
Spencer is over at Toby’s apartment, getting the lasagna ready for their date. God, I really want lasagna now. She looks for a pen and doesn’t see his Radley Sanitarium badge in the drawer. . .
Hanna shows up for her job interview, briefly catching sight of a Red Coated Ali (or whomever) in the window, but when she walks in to the store, it’s just an empty designer room filled with faceless mannequins. You know what I want now? Lasagna and Mannequin 2: On the Move. I know it’s not the better Mannequin movie, but it would be good with some lasagna right about now. Hanna gets tormented by Toby in a Hood instead. And Toby drops a key (from the hole in his pants that Spencer had noticed earlier). A clue!
Em is following Caleb, who is meeting someone at a coffee shop. But before she can find out who he is meeting, she has to leave to comfort Hanna. And then! It turns out he’s meeting Paige! And they are trying to help their girlfriends! They want to find Mona’s blackmail on the girls.
The girls minus Aria are discussing the A business, and they decide that they should probably go to the cops but will wait till they can talk to Aria first. Shocker, another thing keeping them from the cops.
Aria is asleep when a blonde creeps in to return her phone and take a doll and the journal pages. The blonde is Ali! Who hints that Toby is on the A team. And tells Aria not to drink any more tea, hinting that Meredith’s been drugging her. Aria wakes up later to find herself locked in to her room. She can’t get out, so she makes a weapon out of a broken mirror instead.
Emily and Hanna happen past Jodie Sawyer, who is trying to fill a prescription for Clonazapam. When that doesn’t work, she buys like 8 boxes of antihistamines instead. Rosewood pharmacists apparently don’t obey the law. Or care that a crazy lady is saying that she NEEDS her Clonozapam. I wonder how much Jodie Sawyer is drugging Aria with. Maybe she should reserve some for her own use.
Toby comes over to bring Spencer flowers and sees the key that he dropped. Spencer lies and says it’s Melissa’s key to a storage unit.
Jodie Sawyer shows up at Aria’s and Wants! The! Pages! Damnit! I guess the “being nice” portion of her crazy is over. Then she clocks Aria on the head. Finally Emily and Hanna show up at Aria’s house. They search for Aria in the increasingly spooky storm and run into Jodie Sawyer, who says that Aria’s in the basement looking for a flashlight. And she locks them into the basement, of course. The girls find Aria unconscious in the basement. These girls are so damn stupid.
Spencer calls Toby and he says he’s on his way home from work. But is he really?
Actor/Director Chad Lowe comes home early to see Jodie Sawyer hanging out and being crazy. Jodie tells him that Aria has proof of the blackmail. He comes down to the basement and tells them that he didn’t hurt Ali. Flashback! He didn’t bring her money! And he walks away from her! But sees Melissa come out onto the porch, upset and on the phone. Actor/Director Chad Lowe sort of smirks, knowing that Ali’s in for it now.
Toby, in his hoodie, breaks into Spencer’s house to find the key, but Spencer sees him! She slaps him, which is hard to do in a hoodie. And! It turns out she did find his Sanitarium badge! So she was expecting him! Oh, Spencer. Toby leaves when he hears Ma Hastings and Spencer cries and cries. Oh! Spencer! This makes me sad!
Actor/Director Chad Lowe asks how Aria knew about all Ali blackmailing him, and she gives him the diary pages, which are still in the doll. So wait, Alison didn’t take the pages? I don’t think it was a hallucination, because the doll was moved. Oh, who knows, these days. Aria burns the diary pages and tells Actor/Director Chad Lowe that she believes that he didn’t hurt Ali.
Spencer goes back to Toby’s apartment, but he won’t let her in (and has already changed the locks), and she cries and begs for an explanation. But Toby isn’t responding! Ugh, this is breaking my heart! Toby’s not responding because Mona’s in there! Enjoying the meal that Spencer made and drinking wine all on her own. She set Toby up to be discovered! MONA!!!!!!!
And that’s it for this week, folks! Did you expect for them to out Toby and Jodie Sawyer as evil so soon into the season? What will happen next? And if Actor/Director Chad Lowe is telling the truth, who “killed” Ali? Also, how many damn people did she TALK to that night? Jeez.
Hit us up in the comments with your thoughts!