When we last left the Liars, Ali may have been alive, psychics were a thing, Caleb got a one-way bus ticket to a spinoff and we learned that dating teenagers may not be Fitz’s sketchiest activity.
You’re supposed to wear something OVER the corset, Hanna.
The Liars have decided to crash Ravenswood’s weird Edwardian cemetery party. Good thing all the towns in this area have year-round costume shops! While it’s hard to figure out exactly what the hell time of year it’s supposed to be, I’m pretty sure it should be winter by now. Someone needs to tell the PLL writers that winters in Pennsylvania are cold. I haven’t seen an actual coat on someone since season 1.
Emily is worried that they’ll run into A before they find Ali. Spencer isn’t concerned, because there are four of them and one of A. Aria points out that A could have a weapon. Even without a weapon, usually only two of the Liars are competent at any one time. Em’s not sure she’s ready to see Ali, but Spencer points out they’ve already seen her. It’s different when you’re high on drugs or smoke fumes, Spencer!
Caleb’s on the bus to Rosewood. The only other riders are a creepy guy in back and a girl Caleb’s age. This is all Ravenwood lead-in stuff, so the gist is that the girl is named Miranda, she’s on her way to live with her uncle in Ravenswood. Her parents are dead and she’d been living with a crappy foster parent. Caleb has total foster-kid empathy and determines that Miranda did not, in fact, tell her uncle she was coming. Caleb’s like “Yeah, I had an uncle once. He turned out to be my uncle-father. Then this omnipotent stalker tricked me into thinking he’d stolen a church bell and now he just goes camping a lot and Caroline has no idea where the hell I live.” Miranda decides to head back to Scranton but changes her mind when Creepy Guy (whose chips she tried to steal earlier) is getting off at that stop. I spent my freshman year of high school in Scranton, and choosing the haunted creepy town is totally the right call. When they get to Ravenswood, Caleb goes to find Hanna and Miranda goes to find her uncle.
As the Liars walk through the cemetery, Hanna notices two little girls in red coats. Aria gets a call from Ezra who says he was worried and has been trying to reach her. Aria tells him she’s in Ravenswood and he tells her to be careful. It really does seem like he’s actually concerned about her. He’s also watching them around the corner in a WWI soldier’s uniform. Hanna spies another guy in a WWI costume and they all immediately assume he’s Board Shorts. A girl in white goes to talk to Soldier Boy briefly before leaving. The Liars head off to follow them and Grunwald grabs Em.
Aria follows the girl in white, but someone grabs her ankle. It turns out to be the girl in white, who fell into an open grave, without Aria seeing it and without making a sound. If I had fallen into an open grave there would have been some very loud swearing, Aria asks if Soldier Boy pushed her in and the girl, Leah, says no, he’s her cousin. That doesn’t really answer the question. The cousin comes up and tells Leah that he told her it wasn’t safe. I’m assuming these characters are going to show up on Ravenswood since one of them has a name. The Liars catch up to one another (seriously, do you guys not know to stay together by now?) and Aria says that she doesn’t think Soldier Boy is Board Shorts. Hanna’s really freaked out by the little twin girls in red coats and mentions that Ali was the one who told them that ghost story about the twins from the other Halloween specials. They see an adult Red Coat and follow her into a mausoleum before losing her. Eventually they figure out that there’s a passage behind a statue. Obviously the door gets closed behind them. The area they’re in now has statues everywhere and some sort of really localized hurricane. The girls hold hands and somehow Aria manages to lose her grip on Hanna and gain her grip on a statue.
Hanna looks for her friends and sees ‘help me’ painted in red…something on a wall. She also encounters SO MANY RATS and runs away up another staircase where she finds a door. She walks past a piano and a WWI soldier with a gas mask follows her. Oh, I saw this Doctor Who. Don’t worry, Hanna, it’s just a little boy that wants his mummy. Hanna finds a phone booth and tries to make a phone call and, of course, gets locked in the phone booth. Someone needs to start a tally of how many times these girls get locked in things. They should really start carrying metal rods around to jam in the doors.
The only thing Hanna gets on the other end of the phone is horrible feedback. She sees lights that surround the booth and get closer. They flare up and disappear and the phone rings. It’s a recording of an old song about being a soldier. For extra creepiness.
The Liars find the same entrance that Hanna did and comment on the weirdness of a mausoleum with a secret passageway that leads to a mansion. Emily thinks it could have been from ‘The Prohibition.” I know you guys don’t have history classes in Rosewood, but it’s just called Prohibition, Em. They see what appears to be blood dripping from the ceiling and hear someone who sounds an awful lot like Ali screaming, “They’ll find out. My friends know I’m here.” Spencer runs in the general direction of the screaming.
Hanna sees Ali and then Gasmask through the booth. The door starts to open and Hanna grabs the phone to defend herself. Miranda’s the one opening the door-this is her uncle’s house. After some initial suspicions, Hanna and Miranda make nice and find out that the place is a funeral home and Miranda asks Hanna if she always dresses like it’s ‘prom on the Titanic.’ Oh, Miranda, it’s usually so much worse. Miranda has a spinoff-important flashback about being at her parents’ funeral and having her uncle tell her he’s sending her away for her safety. Out of the flashback, she wonders why her uncle abandoned her. He just said! For your safety! Hanna promises to hold him down while Miranda asks him. I’m glad we’re seeing Ultra Compassionate Hanna after half a season of Yelling at Everyone Hanna.
Sure, Emily. Just jump out the window. Nothing bad ever happens to you.
Em and Aria find an open window. They’re on the second floor though they don’t remember going up stairs. Emily’s plan is to jump out the window and get help. The window is creaky and broken and they seem to miss the fact that it’s about to fall. Emily’s just about to crawl out the window when they hear another scream. The pointiest part of the window comes down like a guillotine. Thanks, helpfully timed scream!
Spencer runs into Gasmask Guy. Okay, this is why Spencer is my favorite-she just goes into a Pretty Little Berzerker Rage and attacks him immediately. It seems like she manages to cut his hand and knock him out, but when she goes to lift the gas mask, he strikes and knocks her unconscious. He grabs some pruning shears to go do some really menacing gardening.
“You messed with the one who’s competent, sometimes.”
Caleb runs into Miranda and Hanna, who tells him she lost everyone and that she thinks A has Ali.
Emily and Aria find Spencer who wakes up just in time to hear another scream.
Hanna takes Caleb and Miranda back to the mausoleum to show them the entrance to the secret passageway, but the statue isn’t budging. Miranda finds a picture of an old-timey version of herself on one of the tombs.
Aria, Emily and Spencer run down the hall towards the screams It turns out to be a recording. Grunwald finds them and tells them they shouldn’t be there. She says something that I missed because of a really yappy dog with excellent projection and then says that the house is her home, but it never belonged to her-she’s the caretaker. The tape was one of her sessions and it was stolen six months ago. She says she has a feeling-that one of the girls has been touched by the one Alison fears the most. The Liars all recoil and look at each other like the one that Alison fears the most gave one of them something highly contagious.
The girls go back to Spencer’s car and notice one of her tires is flat. Aria and Spencer both eye Emily, who’s is like ‘Oh, sure, look at the lesbian,’ but Aria claims it’s because Emily happens to be the sportiest. Her only sport is swimming! Like Spencer wouldn’t know how to take apart and put together an entire car just because she seeks to acquire all knowledge.
Hanna wants Miranda to come stay with her because she doesn’t want her going back in the creepy house. Miranda insists on staying and Hanna hugs her and tells her it’s an open invitation. She can always come to Rosewood to date the inappropriately aged man of her choice! Hanna and Caleb walk away and Hanna still doesn’t think they should leave Miranda alone. Caleb says Miranda needs answers and Hanna kisses him and tells him to go help Miranda find her uncle. Haha, remember when Emily and Spencer were telling Hanna to stay away from Caleb because he was so ‘dark’ on account of…doing stuff on computers and being snarky? Caleb’s the least sketchy Liar boyfriend ever.
The other three are realizing there’s no spare tire when Hanna meets up with them. Who should pull up but Ezra Fitz? Seriously, he CAN’T be the Ultimate A. That’s such a suspicious move. He claims he got worried when he couldn’t reach her and offers the girls a ride home. It’s worth noting that he has one hand in his pocket the entire time we see him.
“I just happened to be in Ravenswood and thought I’d drive all over the entire town looking for you. Totally normal.”
Ezra drops them off and another car seems to be following his. The Liars see Red Coat and chase her. Red Coat stands there with her back to them for a moment for dramatic effect before she drops her hood and turns around. It’s Alison! She asks if they missed her and tells them she doesn’t have much time. She wants to come home, but it’s not safe yet and they have to help her. The girls ask who she’s afraid of. Ali tells Hanna to remember what she told her in the hospital. So it was really Ali, just waiting around until all the girls were drugged for some reason. I went back and watched the scene-Ali told Hanna that the girls, combined, know more about that night than they think they do, and that telling the truth to the wrong person at the wrong time is what got her into this mess in the first place. The girls all hear someone coming and Ali shushes them. It’s Ezra, who tells Aria she forgot her phone in his car. The girls turn back and Ali is gone.
“I probably will not apologize for being awful.”
Back in Ravenswood, Miranda finds a tombstone with Caleb’s last name, and there’s an old-timey picture of him on it, too. They look at each other in confusion. It’s just doppelgangers, guys! God.
What’d you guys think? Barring all the Ravenswood prelude stuff, the only real revelation (which, to be fair, was a big one), was that Ali is still alive. Do you think Ezra is a big bad or is he involved in some other way? Do you hope the supernatural stuff stays confined to Ravenswood? Do you think Ali got a kick out of all her funerals?
About the Contributor:
This post was written by Caroline.