Friends! Liars! Televisions! We are gathered here today not to mourn (we are still in denial #RIPNoOne), but to relive our favorite moments of Pretty Little Liars 5A—aka the last week in November 2011—and hand out some awards. Some trophies we are handing out on our own; others are up to you!
(And in case you voted in the 4B polls but never checked the results: they are here!)
Enough talky talk. LET’S GET AWARDIN’
DEAREST DEPARTED
Mona Vanderwaal. Please come back as a ghost and haunt us.
RIP, our queen.
BEST ALISON
She’s the girl with a thousand faces. Not to mention the masks. So which one takes the cake*? (*cake was not baked by Ezra).
Best Alison DiLaurentis
- Dark Ali 17.43% (38 votes)
- Cece Drake as Alison as Vivian Darkbloom 10.55% (23 votes)
- Bethany Young 3.21% (7 votes)
- Evil Alison 38.53% (84 votes)
- Asleep Alison 15.6% (34 votes)
- Vulnerable Alison 5.5% (12 votes)
- Alison Kissing Emily 9.17% (20 votes)
BEST MAKEOVER
Hanna wants something different this time.
BEST TWINS
ALL OF THE TWIIIIIINS.
Best Twins
- Hanna & Alison in the funeral home 11.48% (24 votes)
- Jenna & Sydney at the eye doctor 50.24% (105 votes)
- ALL OF THE ALISONS THAT PROBABLY EXIST 27.27% (57 votes)
- Cindy & Mindy 4.31% (9 votes)
- Alison & Cece in the diner 6.7% (14 votes)
MOST EMILY MOMENT
Em loves Paige, even when she isn’t officially *loving* Paige.
We need Emily to come tell us this every morning.
MOST SPENCER MOMENT
Calls out Ezra’s stalking.
And then asks to borrow his cameras.
MOST HANNA MOMENT
Tellin’ it like it is. As per uzh.
Honorable mention:
MOST ARIA MOMENT AND BEST LIARLOGIC™ AND MOST RIDICULOUS STATEMENT
…all go to the same scene!
GIF from dailypll
Yup. That’s our Aria.
MOST ALI MOMENT
Soooomeone read Gone Girl on their sabbatical!
GIF from swifterly
BEST ARMY
JK, THEY ARE THE SAME ARMY, SWITCHING CAMPS. We just wanna know where we can get an Army of our own.
BEST DILAURENTIS CREEP
Jason!
After last season found Jessica lurking in Spencer’s bedroom, and then silently watching her through the window, we thought the DiLaurentises couldn’t get much creepier. Surprise! It’s Jason, and he’s standing in his sister’s room, watching her sleep.
BEST SLOW-MO
Best Slo-Mo
- Hanna & Mona’s “coming out” 85.05% (182 votes)
- Alison returns to Rosewood High 14.95% (32 votes)
WORST POLICEWORK
RPD, of course. The lie detector of zero scientific value.
BEST POLICEWORK
Hanna Marin, of course.
She’s at least as effective as 95% of the Rosewood PD. And much sassier.
BEST INTERWENCHION
Best Interwenchion
- “Your locker smells like Oktoberfest.” 4.85% (11 votes)
- “When was the last time we ate a vegetable that wasn’t battered and fried?” 4.85% (11 votes)
- “Mom…how well do you KNOW Zach?” 0.88% (2 votes)
- “Do you ever wonder when you became the very thing you’re afraid of?” 29.07% (66 votes)
- “I don’t know what happened to you in Raven5wood, but—” 2.64% (6 votes)
- “I’m sorry, but do we seriously have to remind you that you were never actually kidnapped?” 57.71% (131 votes)
BEST A TEXT
The 8-Way.
Aria: “‘Did you miss me?'”
GIFs from gif-pll
You know we love a good simultaneous A text. And this year, A disappeared for a few episodes only to resurface in an explosive (har, har) way, complete with megatext to match.
BEST(?) SWEATPANTS
GIF from lucyhardin-blog
Ezra’s Sweatpants of Injury Recovery/Creepiness. Oh, WE CANNOT UN-SEE. Did you need to wear those sweatpants ALL the time, Ezra? Did you need to live through your gunshot injury, Ezra? Did you need to exist at all, Ezra? Bye.
MOST LIKELY TO BE A
Alison DiLaurentis. It’s soooo obvious. *Hanna’s DUH face*
LEAST LIKELY TO BE A
Also Alison DiLaurentis. It’s, like, tooooo obvious. *Hanna’s suspicious face*
SADDEST FORGOTTEN PLOT DEVICE
Pepe The Dog. Hates men! Finds bodies! Looks good in a bandana! Frankly, we can’t see any reason why Pepe can’t just become one of the Liars, Scooby Doo style.
HANNA’S BEST FOOD MOMENT
Hanna’s Best Food Moment
- “Well, I guess nutty chews count as protein, and gummy bears as a fruit.” 4.88% (10 votes)
- “All cheese melts, Hanna.” 25.37% (52 votes)
- “Seven tenths of my body is made of caffeine.” 2.93% (6 votes)
- “I feel like we’re lobsters in a tank in a restaurant.” 1.95% (4 votes)
- “What time is it?” “Uh, half past I’M HUNGRY?” 41.95% (86 votes)
- “I’m staying for the cookies.” 23% (47 votes)
And finally, Liars, it’s time for your Season 5A LVP and MVP…
SEASON 5A LVP
Aria Montgomery. Oh, Aria. You are easy to pick on, and we apologize if that means you get more than your fair share of our slag, but really, that porkpie hat?? Just kidding. It’s more the fact that you seem to continually live on a completely different show than the rest of your pals. From being totally unable to get over Shana’s death (uh, fair, we guess, but c’mon, Emily moved on from Nate!!), to being a total bitch to Mona, to… *gestures in Ezra’s general direction* just all of that. Remember Holden? Jake? Hell, even Noel is YOUR AGE.
SEASON 5A MVP
Emily Fields. From LVP to MVP in just one half-season! Now, don’t make us take this hard-won award away from you, Em. You had some amazing emotional growth this year! You started off letting your lingering feelings for Alison threaten to fracture the cohesive Liar whole, spent some time soul-searching (and, uh, Ali’s mouth-searching), and realized that all Alison has ever given you is lies and pain. Then you made up your mind, gathered your courage, in your very Emily way, and laid down a long overdue ultimatum.
That’s right, Emily: cut the poison out of your life and go kiss Pretty Paige, who has never once made you feel emotionally abused and physically endangered (ok, just the ONE time).
DEAR SANTA…
While we’re still disappointed that there’s no Halloween episode this year, we’re excited to see what Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Nondenominational Holiday Celebration brings to Rosewood. Here’s what we’re hoping to find under the tree…
- A Secret Santa game goes horribly wrong.
- Emily and Paige go ice skating.
- Hanukkah candles burn down Ezra’s garage o’ stalking. Devastated, he flees the country.
- Liar sleepover on the longest night of the year.
- Aria carves an ice sculpture.
- Jenna and Sydney and Lucas and Andrew and… y’know, the rest of them… go caroling.
- Melissa is found to be hiding in the barn, with Pepe.
- Toby makes Spencer a lockable wooden chest to hold all of her secret tapes and photos and documents.
- Hanna and Caleb decorate gingerbread cookies. Spooky ones.
- Alison meets a homeless girl (who is actually an angel) who teaches her an important lesson about Holiday Spirit.
- All of the Rosewood parents have a nice discussion over eggnog about how hard life has been for their respective daughters, and vow together to actively persecute misogyny and pedophilia in their community, and to be a constant force of support and love in their childrens’ lives going forward. Emily’s dad leads the charge.
- Santa is A. (HE KNOWS WHEN YOU’VE BEEN BAD OR GOOD, OK???)
That’s all for now, friends! We’re always decking the halls over at murdercabin, though, so please come on by during the long and cold hiatus.
A million kisses,
– A (lexis and Catie)
About the Contributor:
Catie grew up in Denver, Colorado, where she often stayed up past her bedtime reading with a flashlight and once sent homemade Hogwarts acceptance letters to her friends. Now an adult, she still loves books and TV meant for teens, but is grateful to no longer have a bedtime.
